Vulnerability
by Sam I Am the gate fan
Summary: While on a mission to find the Spring of Eternity, SG-1 are captured, but little do they know that Apophis has already found a unique way of making his unbeatable enemy, SG-1, vulnerable!
1. Vulnerability Part One

Vulnerability

By Sam I Am – 

Rating: PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that) also Daniel/Janet, but not in great detail. Major Character death (and don't let that put you off it!)

Category: Character death, Sam/Jack Romance, mild Daniel/Janet, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, probably AU fic as it couldn't happen in the series, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!

Time frame: Sometime during Season 4, after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Summary: While on a mission to find the Spring of Eternity, SG-1 are captured, but little do they know that Apophis has already found a unique way of making his unbeatable enemy, SG-1, vulnerable!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. 'The Scientist' is sung by Coldplay and the lyrics were used without permission (Sorry!) No Copyright intended, it just fits the story... and it's a really cool song! If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: The first Fan Fic I'm going to archive anywhere! WOO HOO! This has probably taken me the longest out of all my works in progress and the very few I have actually finished. Any feedback would be SO useful. As a young author competing against all the older fanfic writers I'm in need of encouragement, support and, if necessary, constructive criticism! And if you think it's good recommend it! I'd love to hear my stories actually being read instead of sat in an Archive somewhere collecting digital dust!

Dedications: To my Best pal/Editor. You know who you are and you have been such an Angel putting up with my incessant babbling about every story line I've created (if only in my warped imagination) and understanding, even when said story lines altered so many times I can't believe you haven't lost track! Thanks Hon. Also to all you S/J fans and all those writers (there are too many to name you all!) whose masterpieces have been a true blessing to this admirer! Finally, (and this may sound slightly weird) to Freddie Mercury. Though I was barely old enough to string a coherent sentence together when you died, your music has always been my inspiration. Thank you for the music, Freddie!

And so here you are... Vulnerability!

Å

**Part One**

"This is just fascinating!"

"Daniel! If you say that one more time I'm gonna shoot you!"

Daniel just shrugged apologetically and turned back to 'the rock'. Jack glanced at the luminous face of his watch and gave a groan.

They'd been on this planet for over three days and Jack was bored to death. Teal'c was helping Daniel translate the 'honking great slab of rock' as Jack had named it earlier. Daniel had babbled on and on about how significant the thing was and stuff, but Jack hadn't really been listening. Teal'c and Daniel were absorbed in their discussion and Jack felt very left out. He had done for three days.

The towering stone tablet stood in the middle of an open plain. There was no grass and no animals. There wasn't even sand. Just rock. Only a few trees and the tablet broke the skyline of the barren planet.

Jack sighed for the umpteenth time and began counting the trees again.

One, two, three...

'God, I wish Carter was here...'

Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine...

'At least I'd have someone to talk to...'

Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen...

'I wonder how she's getting on?'

Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...

'What is she doing anyway?'

Eighteen, Nineteen...

'Oh for crying out loud, what's the point?' Jack thought to himself, 'I already know there are a hundred and twelve.'

"Jack."

Jack looked up to see Daniel walking towards him grinning. In his hand he held a large notebook and a pencil that was now so short he could barely write with it. The archaeologist beamed at the monument satisfied.

"I've finished translating and boy was it worth it. It's fa..."

"If you say fascinating!" Jack warned strangling an imaginary Daniel with his hands.

"Fa... fantastic!" Daniel grinned pleased with himself, as Jack glared at him. Daniel continued to smile, "We can go."

"OH YES!" Jack sprang off the ground with a whoop, as Teal'c looked puzzled.

Daniel gave a small smile, "I'm sorry. You must have been really bored."

"Ya think?" Jack retorted as Daniel nodded. Jack looked at his watch again. They had to be back at the gate in an hour. The gate was about 2 miles away and after being sat on the hard stone floor for a long time his knees were aching painfully.

Jack groaned as he hefted his pack onto his shoulders, "OK. Let's move out, Kids."

Å

They stepped into the embarkation room as General Hammond spoke relieved, "Welcome back SG-1. Was the mission a success?"

"Yes, Sir," Jack said glancing around the embarkation room discretely for the familiar face he wanted to see, "Daniel and Teal'c managed to translate that huge honking slab of rock and I think we discovered the most barren place in the universe, Sir. All in all, I think it was a success."

General Hammond gave an amused smile, "Bored, Son?"

Jack smiled back, "That's an understatement."

General Hammond chuckled as he said, "Debriefing at 1900. Get yourselves checked out and cleaned up."

As they left the embarkation room, Jack couldn't help, but wonder about Carter. Surely she would have been in the gate room to say 'Hi.'

'Maybe I should stop by her office,' Jack thought to himself as he began to worry about his 2IC's whereabouts.

After taking a shower and having the usual post mission examination from Fraiser, Jack found himself walking to Carter's lab automatically. He stopped hesitantly by the door, which was ajar. He gently pushed the door open...

The first thing Jack noticed, as usual was Carter. She was sat in her chair, her head resting on her arms. She looked a state. Her hair was a mess and she had dark rings under her eyes. Her uniform was crumpled and creased. She looked really tired and ill. Jack began to worry about her again.

The second thing Jack noticed was the mess her lab was in. It looked like it had been the victim of a small nuke! There were a countless number of empty coffee mugs that lay around her. Her computer was still on and showed a page of calculations and numbers Jack couldn't even begin comprehend. Around her lay a disarray of papers and notes. Carter's office was usually messy, but never like this!

Jack walked over to the sleeping Major. He crouched down beside her, "Carter," he whispered gently as Sam woke up with a jolt.

"Sir!" she exclaimed in a sleepy sort of slur, "What are you doin' here? You're not meant to be back for another four hours."

"Check your watch, Carter."

The woman, blinking back sleep, peered through heavy lids at her wrong wrist before realising her watch was on the other. She was exhausted.

"Oh, God!" She put her head in her hands, "Colonel, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's no big deal, Carter," he assured her, "Besides, I'm always dozing off when I'm not suppos..."

"I'm trying so hard to get this finished." She signalled the computer screen.

Jack stared at it blankly, "You've totally lost me, Carter. I haven't a clue what that is."

Carter rubbed her eyes as she turned to look at the screen, "Last week, Daniel went on that mission with SG-7. That's where he got the address to '669, the planet you just visited. But also he found another address, but the address was in code and it was incomplete."

"And you've been trying to figure it out."

Sam nodded, "The address apparently leads to a place of 'Eternity'. From what Daniel has read there is a spring of eternity or eternal life. Daniel says it's a medicine or something similar. If he's right it could revolutionise medicine as we know it!"

Jack just nodded, "Well, you might just need some of that stuff," he looked her up and down, "Staring at that screen, scribbling notes, and working yourself into overload cannot be good for you, Carter. You look like hell!"

She nodded, "I've just got to..."

"Carter, get some rest," he said firmly, "Besides if you're too tired to remember which wrist your watch is on, then you're too tired to crack some impossible code!"

Sam smiled slightly as she saved her work and switched the computer off. She got up off the chair and yawned, "Tell Daniel to give me anything from the translation that might help with my code-breaking."

"Will do," Jack sighed as Sam went for the door, "Oh and Carter?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Never leave me with Daniel and Teal'c translating ever again. I think I'm a danger to myself."

Sam smiled sleepily, "Night, Sir."

Å

Daniel yawned sleepily as he stepped into Sam's lab. She wasn't here yet, so Daniel sat himself down on a chair and sipped his mug of coffee slowly.

'Thank God for Coffee!' he thought, 'Who needs some medicine of eternity when you have... wait a second...' He looked around Sam's office. Something was wrong.

For one thing the papers and letters in her in-tray were stacked neatly as were the papers on her desk. Her desk, which usually had at least one drained coffee mug, now possessed none whatsoever. Her chair had been completely pushed under the desk. The keyboard was neatly placed before the computer, which had been totally switched off. Daniel knew Sam always forgot to switch off part of her computer, but not even the printer was still on. Daniel also noticed the pencil pot that stood on Sam's desk. Usually it was empty, but today all the pens and pencils that littered her desk were placed in the pot.

Daniel turned on the chair and surveyed the room. The bookcase. Sam's bookcase was typically hers. Usually books covered the shelves, none of them stacked properly. Folders usually hung out at odd angles, but today they were all stacked neatly. Daniel noticed that the pieces of broken down devices still lay on her desk, but in a more orderly manner. Her hundreds of floppy disks and CDs had been placed in their box. Daniel flipped through them. They were alphabetical. The small filing cabinet had all the draws pushed in and no clutter covering the top. The room was... organised and clean.

Something was VERY wrong!

"Morning Daniel. Have you got the... Whoa!"

Daniel turned to see Sam staring around her lab in utter confusion. Her jaw dropped slightly, "Daniel? Did you clean my lab?"

"Didn't you?" Daniel asked, knowing how stupid the question sounded. Sam! Clean her lab! That was almost as good as Jack reading their reports!

Suddenly realisation appeared on her face and Sam smiled quietly. Without saying another word she sat at her desk and switched the computer on. Daniel was about to speak when he saw a look on Sam's face that he hadn't ever seen her wear. She was day-dreaming!

"Sam?"

"Uh huh," she hummed still smiling. She looked up to see Daniel's confused expression directed at her, "Don't worry, Daniel. Now. The translation..."

Å

Jack whistled as he strolled along the corridor. He couldn't help, but grin slightly. He stopped whistling as he turned down the corridor that led to Carter's lab. The door was open he could see from here. He walked along slowly and when he reached the door looked inside.

Daniel's expression reminded him of a child that's just realised it is Christmas Day and Sam was talking excitedly and jabbing at the screen of her computer.

Jack stood there for a moment before saying, "Good Morning Class!" He turned to Sam smiling, "Working already?"

Sam looked up as a huge grin spread across her face, "Yeah."

"And...?" Jack asked as Daniel looked at Sam's knowing grin in confusion.

"We've cracked it! Looks like the planet of 'Eternity' is our next stop, Sir," Sam said still smiling.

"Great," Jack said enthusiastically. He then grimaced and turned to Daniel, "And no more translating! If you even have to translate one word I'm going to kill you!"

"Jack, I will probably have to translate something. Both planets I visited had no occupants, but they had monuments and runes I have to..."

"Ah! No!" Jack said cutting him off, "No more 'Thirak bir thirel menau gershrak'! I've had enough of translating!"

"Jack, you don't underst..." Daniel began to retort and then frowned, "What did you say?"

Jack then shrugged, "Something you were translating. It just stuck in my head. It seemed to be the only bit of the text you didn't spend half a day on."

"Thirak bir thirel menau gershrak," Daniel frowned slightly, "It means..."

"The waters of Eternity in the early land," Jack shrugged at the looks of amazement shot at him by Daniel, "Like I said, it just stuck."

Sam looked at him in surprise and then turned to Daniel, "Early land?"

"Oh. The words 'thirel menau'. They usually mean 'land of the dawning, or rising, sun', but 'early land' is another translation."

Jack just smiled slightly, "You can't expect me to listen to everything you say!"

Sam turned back to Daniel, "So the land of the rising sun?"

"The planet must be like Alaska in the winter," Sam nodded showing she understood, but Jack frowned, fixing Daniel with a confused look. With a small sigh, Daniel continued, "In Alaska they have days with only a few minutes of daylight in the winter and vice versa in the summer. It is quite possible that the planet only has a few hours of sunlight a day."

Jack nodded showing he finally understood. He was lent against the doorway, "Well, someone tell Hammond and he'll probably have us shipped out there within the week."

Sam and Daniel both got up hurriedly and sped off to talk to General Hammond. Jack remained in the doorway for a moment. He noticed something and walked over to the desk. He picked up the pencil and placed it back in the pen pot. He then switched off her computer and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Å

Sam looked across the terrain. According to the MALP readings they were in a mountain forest. A silvery mist filled the air and Sam shivered slightly. It was quite cold, not freezing though. Around them stood fir-like trees and the soil had huge chunks of icy, grey rock protruding from it.

Sam could see the sun quite visibly through the clouds. The star that this planet revolved around was massive and was bigger than their sun. Also instead of being the usual yellow, the atmosphere of this planet changed it to a pale green colour.

The green orb was visibly through the mist and it was quite high in the sky. Sam frowned confused as Jack turned to her also confused, "Isn't that sun a little high in the sky?" He turned to Sam, "This is their winter, right?"

"Yes, Sir," Sam said still confused.

Jack asked another question, "Shouldn't it be... dark?"

Daniel pulled a hand through his hair, "I may have translated wrong."

"Yeah, but 'early land' makes no sense," Jack added.

"There may be another meaning of the words. The translation was in a strange dialect and was quite hard to decipher."

Jack just nodded and then turned to Teal'c, "OK, let's take a look around. Teal'c, take point."

He inclined his head as Sam watched her CO stride before her into the haze. Daniel walked behind her and Teal'c behind Daniel. They began to descend a small slope that had small rocks sticking through the bracken floor everywhere. Jack told them to watch where they stepped and not to trip and then added, "That means you, Daniel!"

She could hear Daniel muttering mutinously, but it soon changed to thoughtful murmurs as Daniel tried to think of different translations for the text. After about five minutes Teal'c asked, "Do you require my assistance, Daniel Jackson?"

"Uh... yeah. I'm trying to think of other variat..."

"I have gathered."

"OK... so..."

Sam blocked out the conversation behind her and immediately felt a small smile on her face. After a few minutes deliberation, she took in a deep breath and began to walk beside her CO.

She hid the smile and could see him glance at her out of the corner of her eye. She felt the smile tugging at her lip and finally gave in. She glanced at him as he looked back giving her that look of innocence he could always make her lose her guard with. She shook her head gently as she murmured, "I didn't know you ran a cleaning service."

"I don't. Except on special occasions."

The reply was short, but sweet and Sam felt herself beaming, "Do you do birthdays?" She saw him glance at her again as she turned to him. He gave her a small smile and then stopped dead in his tracks. His eyebrows rose slightly as he stared just over her shoulder.

"Colonel?"

She looked in front of them to where the Colonel was staring. It was a temple. She heard Daniel and Teal'c's conversation cease abruptly as Jack said, "Well Danny Boy, looks like we found you a 'rock' to translate."

Å

They stepped into the cool, gloomy structure as Jack scanned the shadowy corners with the light on his gun. He moved along the walls until the light shone on one wall. Jack recognised the symbols. They were the same as the ones they'd found on that 'honking great slab of rock'.

"Well, it's definitely Goa'uld. Older than most, but in amazing condition!"

Daniel walked forward cautiously and looked back at Jack for the go ahead. He gave a small nod and then murmured, "Teal'c, help Daniel. I'll guard the entrance."

Teal'c inclined his head and stepped up beside Daniel.

Daniel spoke, "Uh... this dialect is easier than the one on F8T 669. It's more closely related to Goa'uld text. This writing is older. I'd say about three thousand years older..."

"Just translate the damn thing already!" Jack complained impatiently from the entrance as he stared out into the murky undergrowth.

Daniel sighed and grumbled something, before saying, "OK... The first line is: Ra, God of the Sun has... given or bestowed... upon his children a... potent gift. Uh... Teal'c what does 'Reiutac' mean?"

"I believe it means 'Almighty Deity'."

Daniel continued, "Uh... The Almighty deity has given unto us... the Spring of Eternity... from which we shall... live forever in the land of the rising sun."

"OK, but where is it?" Jack asked slightly impatiently as he glanced at the archaeologist for a moment.

Daniel turned back to the wall, "Uh... it says that: Ra's people will forever be his... undying... children... and shall be the... chosen ones."

Jack spoke again, "Chosen ones?"

Daniel glared at Jack and pointed to the last line, "The next part reads something about it being below the temple... ah Teal'c, what does this line mean?"

"Roughly translated it means that only those carrying a Goa'uld can enter and receive Ra's bequest."

"Uh... so I'm guessing 'Chosen Ones' refers to Goa'ulds and Jaffa, right?"

"That would be a likely assumption, Daniel Jackson."

"Looks like you're the man for the job, Teal'c," Jack said from the door. "Can you see anyway that we could get in there?"

"I cannot."

Jack turned, the light of his gun illuminating part of the elaborate temple floor, "Nothing at all? There must be..."

"Sir," Carter nodded towards the floor. They all stared down at a large decorated circle.

"Rings," Jack said, as he turned to Sam, "Can you hotwire them?"

"I could try, Sir. All I'd have to do is find the panel."

"Get to..."

Jack's order was cut off as a column of light appeared in the centre of the floor. A familiar whirring noise signalled the rings coming up.

Seven Jaffa appeared and in their midst Jack could see a familiar pair of glowing eyes.

"Not you again!" Jack said angrily as he raised his gun about to shoot, "How many times do we have to kill this guy?!?"

Before they could open fire, one of the serpent guards managed to pin Daniel to the wall, a staff pointed at his chest.

"Lower your weapons or my Jaffa shall kill Dr. Jackson."

Jack glanced at his friends and obeyed the Goa'uld's command. They all placed their weapons on the floor slowly as Apophis grinned maliciously.

"Jaffa kree," the Jaffa grabbed Teal'c, Carter and Jack, as the one still aiming the staff at Daniel's chest stood beside Apophis.

They were all dragged beneath the rings and ringed down to a huge room. It was definitely Goa'uld although Jack doubted it had always been Goa'uld. It was a large cavern of dark rock the same colour as the mountainside. Round lights were placed evenly around the rough walls of the cave. Spouting out in different directions were slightly more modern Goa'uld passages made like any you would find on a mother ship.

Sam stared before her at the large, deep tank of glass. It was filled with water. The lights behind the tank seemed to ripple as they were looked at through the clear liquid.

Sam glanced at Jack who looked confused. They were dragged forward and taken up a flight of roughly hewn stairs to the top of the glass tank.

When there, Sam could see harness like contraptions dangling above the cistern and realised a Jaffa was attaching her in one. She fought, but more serpent guards held her until she was secured tightly in the harness.

The GDO and radio were removed from her as well as any additional weaponry or technology she had on her before the Jaffa swung her out over the water.

She closed her eyes at first, but when she heard Apophis laughing she opened them again. She hung horizontally inches away from the unknown liquid wondering what the hell was going on.

She glanced beside her at Daniel and Teal'c. They both looked seriously uneasy. The Colonel was then swung in beside her as he yelled, "Hey! Do you mind? Less of the shoving!"

She glanced at him as he asked silently with his concerned stare, 'Are you OK?'. She gave him a small nod, as he turned to Teal'c and Daniel asking the same silent question and receiving the same reply.

Apophis walked closer to the tank. He was grinning evilly, his golden attire shimmering in the soft white light emanating from the lights in side the tank. Sam really wanted to punch his lights out as he spoke coldly, "Jaffa, lower them in and then we shall meet a more vulnerable SG-1!"

Sam held her breath as she was lowered into the liquid. She watched as Jack's intake of breath was punched out of him when one of the Jaffa jabbed the butt end of his staff into his stomach. He was winded and didn't have a lot of breath left in him as his head was submerged beneath the surface. Her arms were pinned to her side as her head went totally under the surface. Through the water she could just see her friends. Their bodies seemed to be rippling, but maybe it was just the water affecting her eyes. She fought to keep conscious, but slowly she felt herself losing the battle as her lungs screamed for oxygen. She was drowning. As she began to lose consciousness, she felt herself being pulled out of the water by the harness and then metal-gloved hands lifting her back to dry land.

She coughed up the fluid stuck in her throat as she was dragged out from the liquid. Her body ached, especially her muscles that weighed down her body like lead. She felt as though her whole body had been stretched like elastic and then compressed into a tiny box. She fell to the ground. Her head swam and when she opened her eyes all she could see was coloured stars. She was going to pass out. The hands lifted her from the ground again mercilessly. The metal gloves were digging into her arm and leaving painful marks behind. She was lifted into a strong pair of arms as she was carried somewhere. Suddenly she felt her body being tossed into darkness, banging her head hard on the icy floor and being completely knocked out.

Å

Jack woke and found himself sprawled across cold stone. He rubbed his head. He must have hit it pretty hard for it to hurt that much! It felt as though it had been cleaved in half! His body felt stiff and his muscles ached painfully as if he'd just sprinted twenty miles without stopping. He looked around in the gloom, bright colours flashing in his eyes as he tried to focus them.

What had Apophis been talking about? How could he make them vulnerable? Well, he had taken their weapons and half drowned them, but other than that Jack couldn't understand it. He looked around trying to get his eyes to adjust to the shadowy darkness. He realised his friends had to be here somewhere.

"Carter. Daniel. Teal'c." His voice sounded strange. What the hell was wrong with his voice? Maybe he had hit his head harder than he thought! He shivered from the chill of the room. He heard someone stir behind him and then gasp and he turned in shock.

Behind him a figure was leaning against a wall, propping themselves up. Jack inched slightly closer and realised the figure was a girl. From what Jack could see her mouth was wide open. She had long blonde hair, he moved closer, his vision still unable to see clearly in the extremely poor light, he could see her face more clearly now. She just stared at him with the most amazing eyes... wait a second, "Carter?"

"Oh my God!" She murmured as she touched his face lightly with her fingertips and immediately pulled away. Her jaw still hung down. Jack stared at her hair for a second. When she realised what he was staring at, her eye line dropped. She lifted some of her hair up and stared at it. Her voice was quite girly and shook. She sounded... frightened, "How old am I?"

"My guess is about fifteen." He stared at her as if knowing by the shock on her face he looked different as well, "And Me?"

"I dunno. Sixteen..." Her voice drained away. It was one time when she was truly lost for words. She just stared at him not believing what she saw and finding it even harder to believe what he saw. She gasped with sudden realisation as some of Apophis's words rang in her head, "This is what Apophis meant by 'a more vulnerable SG-1'. He's made you... he's made us..."

"Kids again," Jack murmured quietly. His voice sounded so strange. It sounded as though he'd swallowed someone and they were talking instead of him. "Are you OK?" Jack looked at Sam nervously. Her lip was trembling. She looked so confused Jack couldn't believe it. Carter never looked confused!

"A little sore," the soft feminine voice murmured. She immediately changed the subject, as Jack had known she would, "Where are Daniel and Teal'c?"

As if in answer to her question, a groan came from behind her. She gave a gasp of shock as she jumped. She was seriously uneasy all of a sudden.

"Sam?" Daniel's teenage voice carried through the stillness, "OW! My head... Hey! What's up with my voice?"

"Um... Daniel..."

"Yeah?"

"We think... Apophis made us all teenagers again!"

"WHAT!"

"I know. It's really weird..." Sam stared at Daniel as he crawled into the extremely dim light. He looked about fifteen. "I think Apophis has made us roughly the same age," she said quietly, "I guess you're about fifteen... and I'm also fifteen. The Colonel's sixteen..."

"And I believe I am thirteen, Major Carter."

Teal'c's voice made Jack jump. He gave a pathetic yelp that made Sam giggle. Giggle? Carter had just giggled like a girl. Jack noticed as the shadow that was Samantha Carter, stared at the floor in embarrassment.

"How do you know, Teal'c?" As Teal'c approached Jack could hear why, "Oh your..."

"Indeed." Even Teal'c's usually low drone had gone up and Jack realised Teal'c's voice hadn't broken yet! Now there was a shocker if ever there had been one.

Jack couldn't see anyone's face enough to recognise features. It was too dark in here to see anything.

"How are we gonna get outta here?" Daniel said reading Jack's mind.

"That's a good question, Danny-boy!" Jack looked around, but it was no use. If only he had some light to see with!

He turned back to his friends, "Anyone happen to have a torch on them?"

They all shook their heads. Jack crawled around trying to find the door, as Daniel began babbling.

"The Fountain of Youth! Why didn't I think of it before! That is what 'Spring of Eternity' meant! It was the Fountain of Youth! It wasn't a medicine at all! We were dipped in the Fountain of Youth!"

"The Fountain of Youth? You sure, Daniel?" Jack replied sceptically.

"I think so. It also means you were right, Jack. All that 'early land' stuff, it meant 'land of children'! It has to have been the Fountain of Youth!"

"Well, what can I say? My intelligence is highly underrated!" Jack said as his fingers connected with some steps, "Ah ha! I have something!" He stood up and walked up the five steps to a door, "Well, it appears the real brains behind the outfit, has just discovered the door."

Within seconds Sam was by his side trying to open it. Their arms were touching lightly as they huddled on the narrow step. He banged on the door impatiently, "Hello? HELLO-OH? You know this is child abuse! Let us outta here!" His voice sounded so weird! Sam refrained herself from giggling again.

With no warning whatsoever the door was thrown open and he and Sam were flung down the stairs. Jack grabbed her around the waist and cushioned her fall to the cold, stone floor almost without thinking. He felt the wind knocked out of him for a second time in what must have been a few hours, as he hit the floor. She lay in his arms as they heard clanging metal hitting the stone floor in front of them.

The sudden light made Jack temporarily blind. He blinked, as he felt Sam being dragged from his side and cold, metal gloves grabbing him around the arms and hoisting him from the floor.

As his eyes focused he was able to look around him at the others, also being restrained by two Jaffa each.

He looked to his left and saw Teal'c and Daniel. Teal'c looked a lot like Rya'c except he was still bald. The emblem on his head seemed WAY too large for his forehead and his now massive looking air force gear hung extremely loosely around his shrunken form.

Daniel on the other hand looked almost exactly like his adult self and he'd never fitted into his uniform anyway! Now they were slightly more baggy, but nothing so major that they didn't fit him anymore. His glasses looked a bit too big for his head, but other than that it was almost the Daniel he knew, except he looked younger. His face was less care worn, his eyes brighter and more alert, his skin paler and less weather beaten...

Jack felt a sudden urge to look at Sam. His heart thumping wildly in his chest when he realised she was on his other side. Why was he so jittery all of a sudden?

He turned and gaped at Sam with astonishment. The Sam he knew had changed loads since she had been fifteen. The younger girl grinned at him as he stared at her. Her hair lay across her shoulders. It was long, blonde and silky. Her face seemed much younger as well, but if anything proved to Jack that this girl was Carter, it was her mysteriously spellbinding, blue eyes. Her air force uniform fitted almost perfectly, but she looked ridiculous wearing it. Her skin was a creamy white. She looked so much younger than Jack ever could have imagined her looking.

She stared back at him her eyebrows raised in mirrored surprise. To tell the truth Jack could barely remember what he had looked like when he was sixteen, but by the smile Sam flashed him, it can't have been that bad.

As Sam smiled fondly at him, and then averting her gaze hesitantly as a faint blush came to her cheeks, Jack felt a feeling he hadn't felt in thirty years hit him like a bulldozer! Oh for crying out loud! It couldn't be...! Oh, but it was! A full-blown, mind-boggling, heart breaking, totally obsessive, unmistakable... crush! Oh God! This wasn't going to be good!

He was stuck in a prison, with a very attractive fifteen-year-old, millions of miles away from his home and he was about sixteen again. This was SO dangerous! She was his 2IC and NOTHING could happen between them. Jack would make sure... but Jack felt different now. He felt as though he was a teenager again. He didn't feel responsible or anything! He just felt like Jack. Plain old Jack. Not Colonel, not O'Neill and not Sir. Just Jack. He hadn't felt just like Jack for years. He'd always felt like the air force Colonel with no heart, a broken family and no feelings whatsoever! The last time he'd felt like Jack had been when he'd played with Charlie...

Jack's thoughts were interrupted as they were dragged into a huge room. It was decorated, typically, with huge drapes and golden objects of great value. On a platform in front of them sat Apophis grinning gleefully. Oh great! Just what Jack needed! Apophis seeing him looking like a kid! This was gonna be just great!

"Why, Colonel O'Neill? Enjoying your adolescence!" he grinned and turned to Daniel, "And Dr. Jackson. You haven't changed a lot!" His eyes darted to the shrunken form of Teal'c. He didn't need to say anything about Teal'c! He laughed cruelly and then his eyes fixed on Sam. He spoke shocked, "Major Carter!" He smiled sickeningly. Jack didn't like that expression! He didn't like it at all! The Goa'uld spoke his eyes flaming with... Oh! Jack did not wanna know! "In a couple more years... when you've grown up," he grinned obnoxiously, "You would make a wonderful queen!"

She glared at him, "I'm sorry, but until you've grown up a bit I'm SO not going out with you!" She said harshly. Her voice had that rebellious teenage kick to it, but that wasn't the only kick. The guard's foot connected with her ribs winding her. Apophis's eyes glowed angrily.

"Ooh. Ouch, Carter!" Jack said surprised at her unusual bluntness. Even through her breathlessness Sam grinned appreciatively. She never would have said something like that before. Maybe it wasn't only their physical appearances that were changing...

For his comment Jack received an equally hard kick between the ribs. He bit his lip as the pain wave swept over him. That was exactly where the guard had punched him with his staff earlier and it was still tender.

"Silence! Jaffa, put them in a holding cell! I will torture them later!" He grinned, "And put a mirror in their cell! I want them to see how ridiculous they look!"

Apophis left with a swish of his cloak and a "Yes, My Lord!" from the Jaffa surrounding them. They were dragged backwards back down the halls. Jack made a stubborn point of not wanting to be taken by digging his heels in the ground. Jack realised how childish he was being and stopped immediately.

Jack realised for the first time in a long while that the usual ache he always had in his knee and at the base of his back was totally gone! He flexed his knee as the Jaffa continued their slow dragging march. Wow! It felt good to be able to move again. His joints had been totally on the whack for so long that Jack had forgotten what it felt like to have full mobility.

Suddenly, they were thrown into another cell. Jack managed to prevent a more damaging fall by curling into a ball and rolling into the opposite wall as he was thrown in by the Jaffa.

Jack opened his eyes. There was a good amount of light in here. Jack could see the cell was pretty much basic Goa'uld prison cell decor. Flat metal beds with no cushions and one flimsy cover, metal walls, metal ceiling, and metal furniture. No decorations whatsoever except for the silvery mirror that was now being placed on the wall. The Jaffa left as the door lowered behind them.

Jack looked around at his friends. Teal'c sat upright in the corner looking as though he might win a competition for sitting the stillest, Daniel stood beside him eyeing his reflection with absolute amazement in the shiny, silver mirror hanging on the wall and Sam sat a few feet away from him hugging her knees to her chest and staring into nothingness. Jack knew that expression on her face, even if that face was a good twenty years younger. She was thinking, hard. There was also a look of worry on her face as her forehead creased into a frown.

Jack shook his eyes off her as if realising he was staring at her. Jack stood up and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. As he approached he realised how much he'd changed. His hair had changed from grey to dark brown. It was still short, but slightly longer than it had been. His skin was smooth and slightly tanned. His eyebrow did not have a scar breaking through it anymore. His eyes looked as they always had been except now there were no signs of age at all. There were no wrinkles or lines on his face. No signs of the awful life he had led.

He pondered over his age for a moment trying to remember the last time he had looked in the mirror and seen this kid staring back at him. He decided he was definitely sixteen. Maybe a little older, but Jack thought sixteen was a damn good guess. He was so shocked by his appearance that he didn't see Sam join him by the mirror.

"Whoa. Is that really what I look like?"

Her voice made him jump slightly, but he turned to look at her, "Yeah. You think you look different?" He said his voice full of disbelief.

"Jack, I wouldn't have recognized you at all if... well, only you can be sarcastic and 'high and mighty' at the same time...!" Daniel said as he grinned at the slightly annoyed boy.

"...And your eyes. They're still the same..." Sam murmured as she stared at him as if she was looking at him properly for the very first time.

Jack broke their eye contact and grinned at Daniel, "Well, look at you, Space Monkey! What the hell happened to you?"

They all laughed, but Jack stopped abruptly hearing their voices. Everyone else also realised how weird they now sounded. Jack turned to Teal'c who sat in the corner staring at the floor in complete silence.

"You OK?"

"I do not know, O'Neill," the boy said, "I feel extremely..."

"Vulnerable?" Daniel butted in as the miniature Jaffa looked up at him.

"Indeed."

"Well whatever that son of a bitch has done to us it can be undone... right?"

"I'm not sure," the girl said as she tried to tie back her long hair with a piece of string she'd found in her pocket, "I guess it's possible, but..." her voice faltered. She tried again as Jack saw that extremely painful look cross her face, "I can't remember it..." She stared at the floor pure fear and shock hitting her hard. She collapsed on the floor in a heap with a small sob.

"What!"

"I just can't remember any of it!" She felt a tear roll down her cheek, "I'm trying so hard, but it's just leaving. I can't even remember how the Stargate works or... or anything! Quantum theory and time relativity! It's just leaving and... Oh God! I can't even remember simple survival skills properly!"

A sob rattled through her as she felt Jack sit down next to her. She cried into his shoulder as he hugged her. Daniel began talking as if realising something for the first time, "I can remember the address and GDO code, but that's all! No languages! Nothing! It's all... gone!"

"Don't write them on your hand or anything, else we're never gonna get off this rock and Apophis is going to go through the gate and destroy Earth!"

"Well Jack! If I forget, we're done for!"

"Well Daniel! You're just going to have to remember then!" Jack said raising his voice annoyed.

"Guys, don't argue! We can't afford to argue!" Sam's voice hiccoughed in the metal cell, "The only way we're gonna be able to go home is if you don't argue."

Jack nodded, "Sam's right. Sorry Danny." He put out his hand and Daniel shook it. Jack looked lost for a second, "Wait. Sam... No, I didn't used to call you that... what was it?"

"I can't remember...!" Sam said equally shocked. She sighed, "I can't remember what you called me and I can't remember why I called you 'Sir'."

"That's good 'cos neither can I!" Jack said grinning at her as she smiled slightly.

"O'Neill, I do not seem to have lost any of my memories!"

They all looked at Teal'c in surprise as Daniel voiced their thoughts, "You haven't?"

"No. I believe all of my memories are still intact."

"Thank God one of us isn't totally screwed up in the mind!" Daniel's comment was very unDaniel-like and made Jack smile.

Jack glanced at his digital watch, which by some miracle hadn't been removed from his wrist. 1:00pm.

Jack felt so hungry! Perhaps they would bring them some food soon. He got up and went to lie on his bunk as Daniel, Teal'c and Sam began to talk about something.

Jack wasn't really tuned in to their conversation. He was too busy watching Sam. She was amazing. He felt his stomach twist. He fancied her so badly. Once they got the hell out of here maybe he should ask her out... but something he couldn't remember kept telling him he couldn't for some reason. He frowned as he tried to remember, but all trying to remember was doing was giving him a headache.

There was a loud thump on the door. Jack shot straight up into a sitting position as two Jaffa stepped in.

"Daniel Jackson?" They said as they stared at Daniel. They walked over to him and lifted him from the floor and dragged him out before Jack could even protest. Jack ran to the door as it closed behind the Jaffa.

He kicked it hard and thumped his balled fists on it, "Dammit! They took him! I just let them take him!"

Sam came up to him and rested a hand on his shoulder, "If you'd fought for him they could have killed you." She murmured as he turned to face her.

It felt like an electric shock as her hand touched him. He felt himself tense and then relax. Butterflies bumped into each other in the pit of his stomach as he found himself staring into those amazing sapphire eyes. He gulped as he fell into a trance. He felt the air between them sparking with attraction...

Teal'c's voice brought him back, "I believe that any attempt at preventing Daniel Jackson's removal would have been futile."

Jack realised he was still staring at Sam and that for some unmemorable reason, he wasn't meant to be. He averted his gaze and moved towards Teal'c. The past couple of hours he'd been finding it hard to concentrate on what he had to do. His mind kept getting side tracked from plans for escape. Sam happened to be the biggest distraction. He went back to his bed and collapsed trying as hard as he could to think of a plan to get them out of here.

Something told him there was a way... images flashed across his mind. The last of the sparse memories and knowledge he still had.

"Teleportation rings." He said not realising what he had said until Teal'c raised an eyebrow, "That's a way to escape?" Jack asked pleased with himself at remembering something.

"It is indeed."

"Teal'c, that's all I can think of! You're the one with all your memory still in there. You're going to have to think of a plan of escape. I can't... I can't even remember what I do for a living!"

"You are Colonel O'Neill, of the US air force," the smaller version of Teal'c replied.

"Really? I'm a Colonel?" The idea sounded familiar, but Jack just couldn't get his brain around it. "What else don't I know about me?

"I do not think it would be wise to inform you, O'Neill," Teal'c replied, "You will be tortured later and because you are juvenile you may be more vulnerable to it."

"Yeah," said Jack embarrassed, "I guess I probably would give up the information quicker."

"Let us hope that Daniel Jackson will resist and not give away the GDO code or the address." Teal'c's words made Jack realise that a) he didn't know what the GDO code or address was for and b) what was happening to Daniel at this moment. He found himself praying silently, 'Please let Daniel be OK. Don't let Apophis get what he wants!'

Å

Jack swung his legs off the bed. Teal'c, would you believe it, was sleeping on the bed next to him and Sam lay on hers still and silent, her back turned towards him, but Jack doubted she was sleeping like their alien friend.

Daniel had been gone for six hours! Jack had an awful feeling in his stomach. Six hours! He didn't want to think about what might have happened to him.

The door rose, making Jack jump, as Daniel was thrown through. The door closed again. Daniel's nose was bleeding and his eyes streaming. His glasses lay in a sorry, smashed way by his side. He cradled his arm to his chest as he let out a small groan.

Jack swooped down beside him, as did Sam. Teal'c slept on oblivious to Daniel's return.

"Daniel!" Jack whispered as the boy looked up at him.

"I didn't tell them anything, Jack, I swear. I would've, but I couldn't remember and they beat me harder!"

Sam held him tightly to her as he let out a small sob, "Oh God! Daniel I'm so sorry! Here." She murmured gently as she rummaged in her pocket for a tissue. He took it from her and tried to stop the steady flow of blood as she pulled off her jacket and tried to make a sling. Jack realised then how mangled Daniel's arm looked. Definitely broken. Poor Daniel! He gritted his teeth tightly as Sam gently used the sling to support his damaged arm.

"I'm so sorry, Danny! I should have stopped them from taking you! I should've..."

"There was nothing you could have done," Sam reassured him as she helped the now partially blind Daniel to his bed.

After about ten minutes, Daniel's nose finally stopped flowing and he settled down quietly on his bed.

The door opened as two Jaffa walked in carrying eight bowls and four bits of bread. They put them on the floor, turned and walked out again.

Jack looked at the 'food' distastefully, "Nothing like mush to cheer you up!"

Sam chuckled as she picked up two bowls and a piece of bread, "Well at least the water looks clean." She went to sit on the end of Teal'c's bed as Jack and Daniel got up to pick up theirs.

She gently shook Teal'c on the shoulder. He opened his eyes blearily. He raised an eyebrow as if asking her why she'd woken him.

"Here's supper. It doesn't look wonderful, but maybe we'll get some nutrition from it!" She gave him the bowls as Teal'c inclined his head and began to eat in silence.

She picked up the last two bowls and sat on her bed with her legs crossed. She was starving and began to eat the mush without thinking about it twice. It had a nasty colour and it reminded her unpleasantly of... ugh! She didn't even want to think about it! She took a gulp of water to wash away the awful tasting pulp.

She looked up. Jack sat across the room from her. She felt herself blushing slightly as he grinned at her. She looked back down at the mush. She couldn't believe it! She had a crush on him! She glanced at him quickly and then stared straight back down at the slop inside her bowl. He was so gorgeous, but something inside her was telling her that she wasn't meant to fancy him! Why ever not Sam was unsure, but maybe she should keep her distance just to stay on the safe side.

She finished her slop and put the bowl beside her bed as she began to nibble at the vile tasting bread. Jack flung his into the corner of the room.

"Ugh!" He grimaced taking a huge swig of water, "That tastes worse than that pig swill they gave us!"

Sam just smiled fondly. She tried to stop herself, but it was so difficult to control what she did now. Usually she would be able to resist smiling, but at the moment she couldn't see any reason why not.

Everyone began to get ready to go to sleep. Sam undid the string tying back her hair. It really wasn't working very well. She might as well have it loose. She watched Jack through the curtain of golden hair. He yawned tiredly, but he seemed not to want to sleep like everyone else. She shrugged to herself as Daniel spoke.

"Well, I'm gonna get some shut eye. I'm absolutely shattered... literally," Daniel said with a small groan of pain as he flicked his legs up onto his bed again. He pulled the extremely thin sheet of cloth that was supposed to keep them warm, over him. "Night guys," he murmured softly, finishing his sentence with a large yawn.

"Night Danny."

"Yeah. Night Daniel. Try not to move your arm too much and the sling should hold it in the right position."

The boy smiled slightly at Sam as he murmured, "OK. Thanks Sam. Night."

Å

Within a couple of minutes Daniel was snoring gently. At 9:00pm the lights switched off automatically and the room plunged into gloom. It was not too dark to see because there was a faint light emanating from the light panels on the ceiling.

Sam was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling. She knew Jack was awake because he was humming to himself tunelessly. She rolled over and stared at him finding a smile cross her lips.

He lay staring at the roof as she had been a few seconds ago. There was something strange about his expression. He was just smiling blankly at the ceiling. She watched him for a few minutes.

"What's up?" Sam whispered as he turned to look at her.

He rolled straight off his bed with shock, "Sam! I didn't know anyone was still awake!" He blushed a deep scarlet as he scrambled back onto the metal shelf that protruded from the wall.

"I'm sorry I made you jump!" Her voice was quiet and Sam was surprised to hear that she sounded just as embarrassed as Jack looked.

"That's OK," he looked away and stared at the floor, "So why are you awake anyway?" He looked at his watch, "It's past eleven."

"I can't sleep... I'm worried I'm never gonna go home again..." Her voice trailed away as she felt another rush of tears crawling through her eyes. She didn't know where home was, but the thought of never escaping from this place was awful. Damn, why was she so emotional? Something about hormones, no doubt!

She gave a small sob as Jack rose up swiftly and came to comfort her. He sat beside her as she began to cry quietly into his shoulder. His arms encircled her. One held her tightly around her waist and the other around her shoulders.

She held her face in her hands as she tried to swallow her sobs. She shook with each sob as she held them back.

"Don't worry, Sam. I promise I'll do everything I can to get us out of here!" He rubbed her back gently as he spoke gently murmuring in her ear.

"I know you will," she mumbled her face still buried in his shoulder.

Jack clenched his jaw. He was finding it really difficult. He knew they weren't, for some reason, meant to be together, but all he wanted to do was kiss her and be with her. It was a different type of torture for Jack.

Sam stopped sobbing. Her back had stopped shaking, but he didn't loosen his grip. His self-discipline had just faded away, just as his memory had. She raised her head as she stared into his eyes. She pulled away slightly as she realised for the first time that Jack liked her too. She saw that his eyes must be reflecting what she was thinking as she felt her stomach knot nervously. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but it was so hard not to. She felt an urge to kiss him. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted to kiss her too! It surprised her, but hey, she wasn't complaining! He swallowed as if willing himself not to, but he still tightened his grip around her pulling her closer to him.

He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb as he cupped her face in his hand. Her pulse raced. She tilted her head towards his as she felt his breath tickle her cheek, "You know, we really shouldn't do this..." he whispered gently.

"I know. I just can't...! I love you, Jack," she whispered back as she stared into his eyes. She smiled as her lips touched his gently. She felt a bolt of electricity shoot through her as her lips brushed his in a short kiss. She relaxed into his arms as she kissed him again without delay.

"I love you too, Sam. I've loved you for ages!" He mumbled as she kissed him. She closed her eyes. Her blood was still pumping furiously through her. She kissed him again and again as he murmured, "I love you so much!"

She knew she'd loved him for ages and felt her resistance failing. She kissed him harder. She had loved him for ages, she had wanted him for ages and now she had him. She sighed gently as he pressed kisses against her lips fervently.

Time seemed to stop as the two teenagers sat huddled together on the metal shelf in the middle of a Goa'uld fortress. Both were blissfully unaware of time and consequences and for the first time in the years since they'd met they both realised at the same time how much they really loved each other. This wasn't just a crush. It hadn't been for more than three years. Though they couldn't remember, it hadn't been a crush since Antarctica or after that. The Zaytarc testing and when Jack had been stranded for three months off world. When Jack had killed Hathor as she attempted to fry Sam's brain with the ribbon device. On all these occasions both had secretly realised it was more than just an attraction, but all that was forgotten and the memories didn't even occur to them.

She pulled away gently as she stared into Jack's eyes. She smiled as he kissed her forehead and rested his on hers lightly, "You don't know how long I've wanted to kiss you, Sam."

"Neither do you!" Sam pointed out as he stared into her eyes that twinkled merrily.

He let out a small chuckle, "No, I don't, but I know it's been a long time!" he said it so sincerely that Sam found her heart thumping happily in her chest, "I love you, Sam."

Sam kissed him again. She was overflowing with love. Her hand crawled to the back of his head and ran its fingers through his hair as he pulled her even closer.

A small snore from Daniel made Sam jump. She pulled away realising in unison with Jack that they weren't alone. She looked away bashfully. Jack bit his lip, but a smile still managed to creep onto his face, "Well...I guess we better get some rest. Teal'c and Daniel might get suspicious in the morning if we're both falling asleep on our feet."

With one final kiss he released her from his grip. He rose from the bed as Sam watched him walk across the room and crawl under the incredibly thin piece of cloth. He stared at her for a moment seeing the disappointment in her eyes and feeling her kisses still burning on his skin.

"Night," he whispered as his head lowered onto his jacket. He realised she'd given her jacket to Daniel. Feeling the fluffy feeling in the pit of his stomach overpowering him, he grabbed his jacket. He threw it at her, "Rest your head on that."

She looked shocked by his gesture, but didn't show it when she replied quietly, "Thanks Jack. Night." She murmured as she smiled and closed her eyes.

Å

As Daniel woke the next morning he looked around. One of Jack's arms was hanging off the side of his bed, while he used the other for a headrest. Daniel saw the luminous green light of Jack's wristwatch. 7:04am.

Daniel stretched and yawned as he crawled out of the uncomfortable bed. He sat on the floor as he looked around the room. Teal'c was still asleep. Maybe he hadn't had a lot of sleep recently. Daniel's eyes fell upon Sam.

She lay sleeping. Her jacket was screwed up in a ball beneath her head as a pillow. Daniel frowned. That couldn't be right. He had her jacket. He then realised why Jack's arm was being used as a pillow. He smiled. Jack was a great friend. She was smiling slightly in her sleep or at least it looked like she was smiling. She looked really pretty...

All of a sudden the lights switched back on. He heard a groan from behind him. He turned to see Jack stretching and glancing at his watch sleepily. He looked really tired.

"Morning Jack. How long did you stay awake last night? You look exhausted!" Daniel murmured.

Daniel was surprised to see something flicker across Jack's now youthful features. He cleared his throat quietly immediately loosing the expression before Daniel could translate it, "At least midnight. I had trouble sleeping."

"Yeah me too, but I managed to get to sleep before lights out," Daniel said. He chuckled gently, "Teal'c doesn't have the same problem!"

Jack snorted at Daniel's comment, "Lucky Teal'c!"

'Lucky me! Not lucky Teal'c!' Jack thought to himself as he glanced over at Sam.

She looked amazing as she slept. Her hair was spread all over her makeshift pillow, glinting in the artificial light. Her face was pale and beautifully calm. She had a smile on her lips. Jack just wanted to go over to her and kiss her, but he still felt that feeling that they weren't supposed to be together. He sighed gently as Teal'c sat up straight all of a sudden. He raised an eyebrow, "I have been..."

"Asleep," Jack supplied, grinning as Teal'c's eyebrow raised another notch.

"I do not usually sleep."

"No you don't, but I can't remember why!" Daniel said quietly.

Teal'c looked around, "What time is it, O'Neill?

Jack glanced at his watch, "Ten past seve..."

The door slid open cutting off the rest of Jack's sentence. Eight more bowls and bits of bread were brought in as their other bowls were taken away.

As the door closed again, Daniel and Teal'c crawled over to the food and began to tuck in noisily.

Jack crawled over to Sam's bedside with the food. Teal'c and Daniel were already chatting as Jack gently stroked her cheek. Her smile widened as her eyes opened. She smiled at him and whispered, "You know a girl needs her beauty sleep!"

"You don't," Jack murmured bashfully, feeling a rush of blood to his cheeks and the tips of his ears, "I brought you breakf... well actually I'm not quite sure what it is, but I'm assuming it is breakfast!"

She chuckled at Jack's humour as sat up straight, pulling her hair behind her ears. She smiled at him as she slid off her bed to crouch beside him, "Thanks."

Daniel turned to face her with a cheery, "Morning Sam." Teal'c just inclined his head and continued eating. Daniel turned back to Teal'c and continued to babble on about something. Even with memory loss Daniel could talk anyone to the brink of insanity. Luckily for Teal'c that brink was a very, very, long way away!

Jack stared at Sam as she began to eat her food. She dunked the bread in and let the slop dribble off it back into the bowl. She looked at it disgusted and threw the bread in the corner to join Jack's piece from last night. He grinned approvingly as she smiled. The same smile she'd shown him last night. The one that made him want to grab her and hold her and never let her go. She turned suddenly watching Daniel as he sniffed the bread distastefully.

By the end of the meal, there were five pieces of 'bread' in the corner and Sam was surprised she'd even been able to eat that stuff yesterday!

She found herself just gazing at Jack as he tried to doze back off to sleep. She could remember seeing him tired before, but couldn't remember what he used to look like anymore!

Her head thumped painfully and Sam frowned. She was never staying up late again... well, maybe sometimes, but... only when someone else was up as well!

The 'someone else' sighed frustrated. Sleep just wasn't coming! It didn't help with Daniel twittering at the speed of light beside him.

As though reading his mind Sam turned to Daniel, "Daniel, can you keep it down a bit. Jack's trying to sleep and I've got a headache!"

As Sam addressed him the boy turned a deep shade of embarrassed pink, "Oh sorry, Sam!" He apologised hurriedly shutting up and turning to Jack, "Sorry!" Jack just nodded at him as he turned back to Teal'c and began muttering quietly. He looked at Sam across the room. Did she really have a headache?

Jack guessed so. Her eyebrows furrowed into a small frown and her eyes were squeezed shut. She did look pale and quite ill. Jack wanted to rush to her side, but the nagging feeling returned and he stayed where he was.

There was a clunk as the door opened. Two Jaffa stood in the doorway. They walked in swiftly and grabbed Sam from her bed. Her eyes shot open with shock as they lifted her up roughly.

Jack jumped up and started trying to grab Sam away from them as Daniel and Teal'c joined him. Jack was shoved to the floor as the Jaffa laughed dragging Sam screaming through the door.

"JAC...!"

THUD!

The door closed cutting off the end of Sam's cry. Jack sat where he'd been knocked down. He felt his eyes prickle. They'd taken her and again there had been nothing he could do to stop them. Daniel was now in a lot of pain and he dreaded to think what could happen to Sam.

Daniel looked at Jack nervously, "Jack, it wasn't your fau..."

"They just took her, Daniel! They could be torturing her for hours!" His voice cracked as he fought back the hot tears building in his eyes, "Oh God! Don't you get it! It's not just the torture! You heard Apophis yesterday! 'In a couple more years... when you've grown up, you would make a wonderful queen!' What if..." Jack voice faltered one tear making it past his fiercely barricaded feelings. He swiped at it furious with himself for showing his weakness yet again.

The room was silent. They all knew what Apophis might do to her and the thought plunged the room into dread, anxiety and the awkward silence, realisation had brought.

Teal'c spoke slowly breaking the silence, "Let us hope that will not happen."

Å

Sam struggled against the guards as she was dragged through the door into a large chamber. Apophis's back was to her as the Jaffa kicked her in the back of the knee. She buckled and fell onto her knees with a small grimace of pain.

Apophis turned, his eye's glowing ghostly white. He grinned at her as the Jaffa stood behind her roughly tied her hands.

Apophis's grin widened as he flicked up her chin so she was staring into his eyes. "Major Carter," After speaking her name he walked to the back of the room and picked up a device.

Sam knew what it was immediately. It was a torture device, but she couldn't remember where she seen it before. She had a feeling that it had not been used on her before, but she also had the feeling it had. She could remember the agonizing pain and then her mind went blank her memories being blocked again.

He walked behind her his voice speaking in a low, menacing way, "Tell me of the Tok'ra resistance!"

Sam knew the word, but what the Tok'ra resistance was she couldn't remember. She tried to think of something to say, but she obviously took too long. She felt the device touch the skin at the base of her neck and her whole body tensed with the agony. She screamed, as the pain pummelling her body ferociously, became too much. The anguish was so intense Sam felt all her resistance melting away in an instant. The pain stopped and she gasped for breath. Her chest heaved and her limbs drooped as the pain finally left.

She found Apophis grinning at her, "I will ask again, Major Carter. Tell me of the Tok'ra resistance!"

"I don't know what you mean!" Her voice murmured as his glaring stare became furious.

The device touched her again and the crippling pain causing her limbs to spasm in different directions as she tried to escape the torture. She yelled again her scream the only outlet for her breath, which was catching in her lungs. The pain seared through her as if her blood had been replaced with molten iron.

The pain lasted for longer and when it had finished Sam felt her lungs gasping for air. She let a few bitter tears fall from her eyes as she tried to remember the Tok'ra as hard as she could, but no memories came. All that came was another wave of residual pain.

She moaned as Apophis grabbed her chin roughly between his fingers and jerked her face upwards to face him.

Before he could speak, Sam cried, "I don't remember! I don't remember the Tok'ra or anything! Please!" Her voice pleaded as yet more tears poured down her cheeks.

Apophis's face cracked for a second as he considered letting her go. Sam knew Apophis had a weakness where she was concerned and decided if she was going to get herself out of this mess she'd have to play to that advantage. She stared at him with watery blue eyes as his feelings played through his face even more. Suddenly as if realising he was falling for her trick, his expression hardened. His face became as hard as granite as did his voice, "Continue the Torture!"

Å

Jack sat on his bed, his knees hugged tightly to his chest. Somewhere in this place they were hurting her. He looked up around the room. Teal'c was asleep again which annoyed Jack. How could Teal'c sleep at a time like this! His eyes locked on Daniel. He was sat on the bed beside him. He was staring into space, obviously thinking. Jack thought that thinking was probably the best and only way to get out of here.

He tried to focus his mind on his past. He had to remember something... anything that would save her.

His mind wandered around, but all he could see was images of Sam in pain. His imagination of Sam being tortured had totally taken over his mind and he had no chance of thinking at the moment. He opened his eyes hoping the images would go and to his relief they did.

He looked at his watch. She'd been gone longer than Daniel had and dread began to grip Jack's heart so tightly he thought it would be crushed. He looked away from the watch and back to Daniel who was now watching him curiously.

Daniel spoke quietly, "You OK?" His friend fixed him with a worried frown.

"Just peachy!" Jack replied sarcastically, Daniel's frown deepening.

"Jack, you aren't the only one who cares about Sam, you know!"

Jack looked up shocked at Daniel as the boy snapped at him. For some reason Daniel accusing him of being worried about Sam made him seriously jumpy. Jack felt himself wanting to deny it, but for some reason the words wouldn't come.

Jack looked away embarrassed as Daniel continued, "I'm just as worried as you are Jack. I mean, Sam feels like a sister to me and yet..." he let out a small chuckle, "I still fancy her!" Jack looked straight at Daniel surprised. Daniel continued, "I think that I only fancy her because of the whole teenager thing," Daniel bit his lip obviously choosing his words carefully, "Maybe... you do as well."

Jack realised the truth behind the words, but he also felt the truth behind his feelings, "Daniel, I don't know why, but I don't think so."

It was now Daniel's turn to look shocked. Jack mumbled quietly, "You see, I can't help feeling I've..." he hesitated, the word forming on his lips, "...loved her for a long time..."

Daniel raised an eyebrow. He was about to speak when a sudden clunk from the door made them both freeze and stare at it fearfully.

As the door opened Sam was thrown into the room as if she were made of rags. The Jaffa at the door placed down eight bowls with four pieces of bread and then turned and left.

Before the door had closed Jack was at Sam's side rolling her over from her face down position. Her face was pale and burns and welts covered her skin that wasn't protected by her uniform. Her forehead was creased into a frown of pain. Her lip was bleeding and to Jack it looked as if she'd been biting her lip really hard.

Jack felt useless. He didn't know what to do! Well, that was incorrect! He knew full well what to do; he just couldn't remember what to do!

'First get her on a bed, O'Neill' he told himself as he hooked his arms around Sam's limp form. He carried her to her bed and laid her down gently. He picked up Daniel's jacket from the floor and put it under her head.

He let Teal'c push past him. After all Teal'c was the only one who could help her. He caressed her forehead gently his eyes filling with worry. A frown appeared on his forehead as he removed his hand from her forehead, "O'Neill, pass me the water and, Daniel Jackson, get me that cloth."

Daniel obeyed as Jack passed Teal'c the bowls. As Daniel gave him the cloth he began to rip shreds off it. He folded one up and dipped it in the water. He wringed it out and placed it on her forehead as he spoke, "She is suffering from a fever. We must hope that she will overcome it."

Jack just watched as Teal'c wet another piece of cloth and began to wipe the dried blood away from an ugly weal on her neck and a nasty scorch mark on her cheek.

When he had finished cleaning all her wounds, the water in the bowl was a dusty red colour. He then picked up the other bowl and gave it to Jack, "You must facilitate. Get her to drink the entire contents of this bowl."

"Why me?" Jack asked looking at Teal'c puzzled and slightly nervously wondering if Teal'c knew about him and Sam.

If Teal'c had ever blushed in his life, this was probably the darkest he had or ever would go. He answered slowly, "I do not believe I am strong enough to support her in my current... condition. I must also refasten Daniel Jackson's sling."

"Oh... OK then." Jack muttered gently as Teal'c walked over to Daniel and began to readjust his makeshift sling. Jack walked over to Sam. He carefully lifted up her head and leant her up against him as he sat on the metal shelf. He gently lifted the bowl to her lips. The barely conscious figure gulped down a few mouthfuls as Jack watched her.

This was all his fault! He shouldn't have let them take her! She finished gulping down the cool water and he slid her head from his shoulder back down to the jacket she was using for a pillow. He found himself gripping her hand gently and he lightly moved her damp hair away from her face.

As he went to leave, he felt her hand clasp his tightly. He stared at her hand for a second and then his eyes flicked back to her face.

Her eyelids flickered as he saw her wake from her unconscious stupor. She looked at him for a second and then let a small smile curve her pale lips. He stared at her amazed she was awake.

"Jack..." Her small smile died as she felt a sharp pain hit her. Her eyes squeezed shut as the pain spread through her. She bit her lip holding back the cry of agony that wanted to be released. Her skin felt as though it was blazing, but she felt as though she was freezing. She shivered.

He stroked her hair out of her face affectionately as he spoke, "You're cold?" Her eyes were still firmly shut as the pain began to subside.

As he murmured, Daniel looked up at Jack. He was staring into Sam's pallid and thin face. She nodded in answer to Jack's question and opened her eyes to see Jack struggling to pull his jacket off. He lifted her arms up carefully, trying desperately not to hurt her. He slid her arms through the sleeves and zipped it up. Jack turned to him, "Sam's cold. Teal'c, can I have your jacket and Daniel, get the other cloths."

Teal'c passed him his jacket instantaneously and Daniel snatched up the other bed covers hurriedly passing them to Jack. He felt awful. He wished his arm wasn't broken. He wouldn't be in absolute agony and also he wouldn't be using Sam's jacket. She would be warmer and he would be in less pain!

He couldn't remove his own because it would mean moving his arm, which was a bad idea. Daniel sighed. He felt useless and so decided to try his best to forget his pain and help Jack and Teal'c get them out of here.

Jack pulled the other jacket over her gently. He then tucked the bed cloths over her snugly.

"Better?" he murmured as he stared into her eyes.

She stared at him for a moment before another fiery shot of pain pierced her. A scream left her throat before she could stop it. She finished the yell and felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

She opened her eyes to see Jack staring at her anxiously. He then picked up a clean piece of rag and gently wiped away her tears murmuring, "Does it still hurt?"

Teal'c spoke up, "It is most likely the residual pain from the torture device used upon her."

Jack turned back to Sam and noticed instantly that she was beginning to doze off again. He spoke in a gently whisper, "Are you tired?"

She nodded sleepily as she began to drift back off to sleep. She watched him for a moment as he went to leave and then she grabbed his hand. As he stared into her eyes he deciphered the silent plea in their depths, 'Don't go.' He answered her silently by settling himself back down beside her. She smiled as he squeezed her hand gently proving to her he really was there. She gently laid her head back down as she closed her eyes and drifted off into an uneasy and feverish sleep.

Å

Jack sat there for hours unmoving. His hand still firmly clasped Sam's as if he was afraid he would lose her if he let go.

Daniel watched his friend with curiosity. Maybe it was, as Jack said, more than just some crush. Teal'c slept on the bed beside him as he tried to sleep, but the gnawing pain in his arm would not let him sleep. Instead Daniel watched Jack's expression worriedly. He knew that look he just couldn't remember it! There was something very wrong.

Jack sighed as his eyes connected with Sam's face again. Not taking his eyes from her face he muttered, "Daniel. I thought I told you to get some rest!"

Daniel blinked astonished. He didn't know that Jack had realised he was awake.

"I...I'm worried..."

"Yeah. 'Bout what?" Jack voice suddenly became understanding and supportive.

"About you actually," Daniel said as Jack pulled a face. It showed surprise, but he didn't comment. His eyes just, as always, wandered onto the deathly pale face that slept uneasily on the bed, "Jack? What's up?" The question was profoundly stupid and Daniel had expected an extremely simple answer to the question, but with Jack, you could never predict what he was going to say or do.

Jack sat in silence for a few seconds his eyes fixed on a point on the floor.

Finally, after an awkward silence that seemed to stretch on forever, he spoke his voice quiet and uncertain, "No matter what happens in the morning, the serpent guards have to take me."

The statement shocked Daniel into another awkward silence, "Why?"

"Teal'c is the only one with any memory. If they take me they aren't going to find anything. It'll also give you a chance to escape. Teal'c can get you two outta here. It'll be easier than three."

"But Jack..."

"No buts, Daniel," Jack said quietly his eyes landing on Sam again. They filled with pain as they gazed on her, "The only way you'll get out of here is if Teal'c is in full health and... you don't understand."

"Try me! You can tell me anything you know. I like to believe I'm your best friend even though you do think I'm a geek!"

"You're not a geek!" Jack said defensively, "OK, you are a little bit... but you are still me best friend."

Daniel smiled at that and then the smile faded as he murmured, "Jack, tell me."

His friend's voice cracked under the strain of withholding his surging emotions intensified by his now teenage self, "I don't..." He sighed and then said in a whisper, "Nothing can happen to her, Daniel. She has to get home safely. If she doesn't I'll... I'll never forgive myself! She is so frightened. She tries to hide it, but I know. Daniel, she's terrified! I know I've never seen her like this in my life. She has to go home. She needs a doctor urgently and I don't think she'll be able to stand another torture session. I... I don't want her to die, Daniel."

Daniel felt a sudden familiarity with Jack. The man trapped inside a teenage body. The small conversation had let O'Neill, or whoever he was, shine through. And O'Neill was, for use of a better word, scared. More scared than Daniel could believe. His bravado kept it hidden... what was it Sam used to call it? Oh yeah, the way of the warrior crap! Truth was, Jack was just as scared as he was.

Daniel stared at the figure hunched up still holding Sam's hand, "Jack, I promise, I won't let anything happen to her while I'm still able to protect her. I'll get her home."

"Thanks Danny. That means a lot to me," he paused then added, "Now get some sleep. Geez! You'd think the Sand Man didn't exist!"

With a smile Daniel laid his head down on his good arm and dropped off to an uncomfortable sleep laced with bad dreams and pain. He knew deep in his heart that in the morning he might have to say a final goodbye to one of his best friends and he hated it!

Å

Sam tried hard to get the barriers guarding her memories to fall. All she wanted was to remember something... anything!

She wanted to know who she was and what she did. She wanted to know why there was a guilty feeling in her stomach whenever she touched Jack. She wanted to know who, what or where 'The Tok'ra' was. She wanted to know about her family and her friends. She wanted to know all the things she couldn't remember!

One memory... anything...!

"_Hey Carter! Whatcha doin'?" _

_She looked up from the small and intricate device she was tampering with on her desk..._

That had been part of a memory. The voice had sounded familiar...

"_Colonel! I was just..."_

"_You're still playing with that thing!"_

_Her eyes fell upon the face in front of her as a smile curved her lips. The man was twiddling a delicate instrument in his fingers. He had dark greying hair and even darker eyes. A beautiful dark brown..._

Could it be? Sam was so confused. Why did she just call him Colo...?

_He smiled warmly as she instinctively took the gadget away from him. "Carter, I was going to get a bite to eat if you wanna come?"_

"_No thanks, Sir, I've just got to..."_

"_Nah uh uh. No way, Carter," he grinned wagging his finger at her, "You're not getting out of it! You are coming now! It's unhealthy to stay cooped up in here all day and besides when was the last time you ate something?"_

_She stared back down at the table, "Not since breakfast..."_

_She looked up to see his face looking slightly concerned, "You should eat something! Besides you need brain food to make up for my stupidity!" She made no effort of moving as Jack put on a fake stern glance, "Shall I make that an order?"_

_She felt herself grinning, shaking her head with a pretend exasperated sigh, as she got up from the swivelling chair..._

Sam woke with a shock, confused and disorientated. As she stared around blindly, she felt a cooling hand on her skin and another supporting her head slightly. She felt the fingers gently stroking her face as a gentle voice whispered, "Shh. Sam, you're OK."

Her eyes fell into focus as she saw Jack grin at her. The grin was identical to the one the man had smiled in her dream.

He gently laid her head back onto the jacket beneath her head, as he stroked her hair and stared into her eyes lovingly. She didn't speak as her mouth felt so dry.

As if reading her mind, he immediately gave her a sip of the cool water. She looked around her. The lights had been switched off and Teal'c and Daniel slept soundly. She wondered what the time was. She glanced at Jack's wristwatch. 2:00am. Had she woken him up?

His face was worn and he looked exhausted. He had rings under his eyes and red marks from where he'd rubbed them.

"Did I wake you?" she whispered gently as she closed her eyelids.

"No. I haven't slept at all."

Sam opened her eyes to stare at him, as she hissed, "You have to get some sleep. You look dead on your feet!"

"As long as you go back to sleep as well!" As he spoke, he began stroking her face again gently.

When he went to pull away she murmured, "Don't stop."

He smiled at her as his eyes wandered over her face. After what felt like hours, he whispered,

"Can I kiss you?"

"What kind of a stupid question is that?" She whispered back feeling a smile of her own curving her lips.

He closed the space between them as he kissed her with his soft lips. When he'd finished taking her breath away, he pulled back and continued to smile at her softly.

She smiled back gently, not knowing whether to tell him of her strange dream or not. She yawned sleepily as her eyelids fluttered dozily. Jack leant his head on their hands and began to doze. She stroked his temple as she gently closed her eyes, "Night Colonel."

Before she'd had time to realise what she'd said she drifted into a deep slumber.

Å

Jack woke the next morning with a jolt. Daniel was sat a few feet away from him besides another helping of that wonderful mush. Oh joy!

He realised Sam's hand was still in his and to his relief it felt cooler than it had last night. He stared at her face. There was no feverish flush on her cheeks. That was a good start. He felt her forehead and it wasn't burning to the touch. The fever was gone! Jack sighed with relief as he collapsed back down to the floor.

"She looks better," he muttered. Daniel didn't know whether he was talking to him or assuring himself. Jack then turned to Daniel and crawled over to the food. He ate it hurriedly, all the time staring at Sam. Once he's finished his face became serious and contemplating. Daniel watched him intrigued as he sat his eyes fixed on Sam and, after a minute, he turned to Teal'c who was watching him.

"Teal'c, I need you to do me a favour."

"Specify your favour, O'Neill, and I will consider it." If the kid ever smiled this was probably the best smile he'd had or would ever be graced to see!

"I need you to teach me swear words!"

"You what?!?" Daniel exclaimed with a confused frown.

"Swear words in the Jaffa language. In fact you can help as well. I might need someone to help me remember," he told Daniel, as he and Teal'c sat there in silence as Jack sighed with exasperation, "Look will you just teach me!"

Daniel couldn't believe he was doing this, but in the end Teal'c was giving a lecture on Goa'uld swear words and Jack was listening with rapt attention. The whole situation would have been hilarious if it hadn't been for Jack's totally serious expression as he tried to cram the words into his brain.

Å

It took him twenty minutes to learn and understand around fifteen words and phrases. Jack was very pleased with himself. For a guy with some form of amnesia, he was doing great! He had about three minutes until the Jaffa came and took him.

He crawled over to Sam's side and pulled her hair out of her eyes. She stirred, but she was barely awake and was in a place between unconsciousness and waking. He murmured softly, "Sam, I have to go soon, but Danny is gonna look after you, OK?"

"What? OK."

She stared at him blearily. She heard the doors clunking as it opened. Jack bent down and kissed her gently and whispered, "I love you," he rose swiftly.

Daniel could see Jack trembling slightly as the door ascended and the Jaffa strode in. One of them grinned maliciously, "Shol'va!" They turned making a B line for Teal'c. She watched as suddenly Jack began spouting a familiar language that she couldn't quite place the name of and by the deepening colour of purple rage the Jaffa's faces were turning, the language was pretty colourful!

Jack was seized roughly and dragged from the room, as Daniel stood just watching the door slide shut. Sam could barely talk, but she managed to yell as loud as she could this time, "Daniel! What the hell are you playing at? Jack...!"

"He told us to escape without him. He sacrificed himself because he knew Teal'c was the only one with any memory. If I'd objected the Jaffa may have gone back to their original orders to take Teal'c."

Sam felt tears lacing her eyelashes as Daniel hooked his arms around her standing her up straight, "You ready, Teal'c?"

"We have five minutes before the guards pass this door again, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel stared into her eyes as he tried to help her get her balance, "We're escaping. You're gonna have to try to stand up at least. I can't carry you 'cos of my busted arm and well..." he looked at Teal'c's shrunken form, "...neither can Teal'c so you're gonna have to try your hardest, OK?"

She spent the whole five minutes supporting herself and even walking at least a few metres on her own. She had to do this.

Suddenly Teal'c bristled as he heard footsteps passing the door.

"Jaffa! Jaffa! Kree!"

The doors opened as Teal'c flattened himself against the wall. As the Jaffa stepped through the door he knocked them out and with the help of Daniel all four guards lay in an unconscious heap.

Teal'c lifted up a staff weapon and three other guns Sam couldn't remember the name of, "You must both practice aiming," Teal'c said and nodded towards the Jaffa as he passed them a weapon each.

They both successfully hit one of the unconscious Jaffa. Daniel flinched and shuddered, as Sam just closed her eyes. She realised she had used it before, "A zat gun..."

"Indeed," Teal'c smiled slightly, "Your memory returns?"

"Well, not exactly I have flashes."

Teal'c just nodded, "We should leave now before more Jaffa enter and prevent our departure."

Å

Whatever the damn thing was, it hurt as it was pushed into his temple! Jack grunted from the sharp pain as Apophis grinned evilly.

"Do you know what this is, Colonel?"

"Not a clue," Jack said quite nastily, "Please. Enlighten me!"

Apophis's grin twisted into a horrible smirk, "This is a Tok'ra Memory Recall Device..."

"Oh that's good! Maybe it'll find mine!"

Apophis ignored Jack's outburst and continued, "It has been adapted so I can use it as a method of torture."

"Oh great! I'm ecstatic!"

Apophis just grinned wider as his eyes glowed, "Attach him to the screen! He will show us everything!"

The device in Jack's temple was hooked up to a huge screen as Apophis activated it...

_BANG!_

_A gunshot echoed through the house. Jack felt himself running up some stairs. He pushed open a door. Sprawled out on the carpet in front of him lay a boy, but not just any boy! Who was he?_

_The boy had short brown hair and wide shocked eyes. A gun lay by his outstretched fingers as his blood dripped onto the pale carpet leaving scarlet stains..._

"_CHARLIE! NO!"_

_Jack turned to find a screaming woman push past him. She ran to the boy and cradled his head in her lap. She sobbed as tears streamed down her face. She was also familiar, but who was she?_

"Who are you?" he murmured.

"_Jack! You've gotta help me!"_

"Who are you!" Jack demanded.

"_Jack? It's me, it's Sara," Jack shook his head still not knowing who she was, "Sara, your wife."_

_Tears rolled down her cheeks. He knew her. Sara? His wife? Jack's mind raced. Married? To this woman?_

"_Please. Jack! We have to get Charlie home!"_

"What?"

_She pointed behind him. As he turned he saw the Stargate looming in front of him. "Jack! He's dying! Please we have to dial home!"_

_Jack reached for the controlled that stood before him, but still couldn't remember the address. He shook his head._

"I don't remember."

"_JACK! YOUR SON IS DYING BECAUSE... because of you! Now we have to get him home!"_

"My son?"

"_Jack! Charlie is dying! Dial home and use the GDO code!"_

"What? I don't remember!"

"_Jack, dial home quickly! Do it NOW!" She yelled angrily. _

"How about... NO!"

_The woman, Sara, rose from the ground and grabbed him around the neck as she spoke menacingly, "Ignorant Tau'ri! TELL ME THE GDO CODE!"_

"NO!" Jack yelled as he pulled away from Apophis's grip. He gasped for air as the Goa'uld's eyes flashed.

"Why do you resist?"

"Oh for crying out loud! I don't remember the GDO code or what it is! Dammit! I don't even remember the address!"

"SILENCE!" Apophis was fuming ferociously, "You will pay for your lies, Tau'ri!" His hand raised as the centre of the device on his palm glowed.

Å

As Sam hobbled down the corridors, she felt nauseous. They were going to leave him behind!

"Teal'c. Wait."

The Jaffa turned around, "We do not have time to rest, Samantha Carter."

"No. Teal'c, we have to go back for him."

"That would be unwise..."

"I don't care, Teal'c! I know Jack would never leave any of us behind! He used to say something," she screwed her eyes shut as she tried to remember...

"GET DOWN, CARTER!"

She felt pain as a bullet pierced her leg and then as another nicked her ribs. She tried to keep running for the gate, but felt herself collapse to the marshy ground from the searing pain. She heard the gate engage. The others were gonna get back safely.

She saw someone crawling towards her through a clump of long, murky brown grass. The gate was open a few feet away. She watched as Daniel and Teal'c dived through.

A muddy, concerned face appeared beside her...

His eyes flashed with something, as he crawled beside her and grabbed her arms as if ready to help her stand.

"Sir, leave without me!" She stammered as she inhaled a sharp breath. The pain coursed through her like a storm.

"I'm not leaving you behind!" He hooked an arm around her waist as he tried to help her up and avoid the gunfire at the same time.

"Sir, you can't. Just GO!" She tried to yell, but whimpered afterwards as she almost fell back to the boggy floor. He kept hold of her firmly, "Jack, please. Save yourself."

"I'm not leaving without you," he said and Sam saw the determination in his eyes.

"GO!" She managed to squeeze the cry out of her lungs and inhaled sharply.

"NO, Sam!"

He grabbed her side and they stood, but her legs gave way almost immediately. They both dropped to the marshy floor. He looked at her and she realised that it was going to be a miracle if he got her out of here.

She saw him frown, a strong willpower engulfing him as he stood again this time lifting her into his arms. He then ran for the gate trying hard not slip on the mud. They ran through the gate as he let out a cry. They landed in a heap on the ramp as a metal shield closed over the gate and the Stargate switched off.

She looked at Jack. He held his shoulder and she could see blood seeping through his fingers. It looked as though a bullet had just nicked the top of his left arm. She lay on the ramp and stared at him as she whispered in a shaky voice, "Why?"

He looked at her and she knew the look in his eyes. She knew why although neither of them could ever say it. He clutched his shoulder harder as he stared at the ramp. He spoke his voice quiet as he murmured, "No one gets left behind, remember...?"

"No one gets left behind!" she said triumphantly as Teal'c inclined his head.

"Indeed. That phrase is well utilized by Colonel O'Neill."

"Well let's put it to practice!"

"Sam," Daniel stared at her opening his blue eyes wide, "I want to rescue him as much as you do, but it would be suicide..."

"Then I'll go without you!"

Daniel shook his head, "I can't let you do that!"

Sam yelled angrily, "WHY THE HELL NOT!" Sam swayed slightly with the exertion. She knew her fever was returning, as was the aching left from her torture. Dammit!

Daniel caught her with his good arm and held her to his side, "Sam," he murmured, "I promised Jack I would get you home safely. What I meant was I can't let you go... alone!" He smiled slightly as her face lit up. She hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He winced at the pressure on his arm and she immediately pulled away to find him blushing bashfully.

She grinned again, "Thank you, Daniel!"

Teal'c sighed, "If you and Daniel Jackson are to rescue O'Neill, you will require my assistance."

Sam hugged Teal'c as well, "Thanks Teal'c." She pulled away, "Now let's go find Jack!"

Daniel Jackson supported Samantha Carter as they tried to jog down the corridors. Daniel Jackson had been correct. This was probably suicide, but Teal'c would rather die than leave any of his comrades here.

They turned a corner as he shot another two serpent guards with his Zat. They were obviously close now. He heard a yell of agony coming from up ahead, "NO!"

"Jack!" Sam whispered fearfully as she quickened her pace pulling Daniel along with her, even though her body felt as though it had been churned around in a cement mixer!

The blood-curdling voice of Apophis echoed from the room, "SILENCE!"

They shot another six Jaffa as they turned into it. They stopped dead in the doorway.

"You will pay for your lies, Tau'ri!" Sam gasped in horror as she saw Apophis using the ribbon device on Jack. For some unknown reason she suddenly remembered what the device was and what it was doing to Jack. All of a sudden all her memories came gushing back in a huge tidal wave. Almost everything she knew struck her in a split second and random images appeared and disappeared in no apparent order in her mind.

Daniel removed his arm from supporting her as he and Teal'c began to shoot the many Jaffa swarming the room.

Suddenly the world seemed to be going in slow motion. She ran as fast as she could towards the golden, but deadly beam. She saw everything at once. Teal'c and Daniel shooting the Jaffa, the dead Jaffa slumping to the floor, the malicious grin of Apophis, the way his eyes didn't move from Jack and Jack, his face screwed up with agony as the light focused in the centre of his forehead.

Apophis's face turned towards her as she yelled, "Leave him alone!" She ran through the gunfire of the Jaffa and her friends as she dived for the ribbon of energy.

As she broke it she was thrown across the room straight into the wall. Apophis yelled angrily in Goa'uld as Jack shook his head trying to stop the swimming. What happened?

He saw a gun lying beside him and lunged for it. He rolled across the floor and began to shoot at Apophis. Glaring angrily, Apophis touched the armband on his left forearm. His face was contorted with fury as teleportation rings encircled him and he disappeared with a flash of light. The rings ascended as the last Jaffa in the room fell.

Why had Apophis stopped using that hand thing? A memory flashed in his memory. Sam! But she could barely walk, let alone run! He turned suddenly as dread hit him like a cold wave.

His eyes fixed on her motionless body, her eyes closed. He crawled over to her. She was propped up against the wall, her head lolling on her shoulder. She had a nasty gash across her forehead and she looked eerily pale.

He lowered her gently to the floor as Daniel joined him and Teal'c stood watch by the door. Jack put his ear to her mouth and could hear and feel her breath leaving her lips. She was alive. Thank God!

"Come on, Sam," Jack murmured, "Please wake up."

She didn't stir. Daniel shared a worried look with Jack. There was something incredibly creepy about her condition, but Daniel had no idea what. He examined the look of unprecedented fear on his best friend's face before the boy gritted his jaw and hid the expression in a way Daniel was extremely familiar with.

Teal'c began dismantling a control panel on the wall, "We must use the teleportation rings to escape to the surface."

Jack lifted the unconscious form of Sam into his arms as him and Daniel stepped into the area beneath the rings. Teal'c scooted in next to them as the rings encircled them.

The next thing Jack saw was the surface. More precisely the inside of a temple. It looked really familiar, but... as usual... he couldn't put a finger on it.

He supported her dead weight as they strolled swiftly to the gate. After about a quarter of an hour, but what felt like 15 times as much they finally heard the sounds of a pursuit. They began to ascend a familiar rocky, but gentle slope as the Stargate appeared before them. It rose like the sun over the rocky hill in front of them.

Jack's watch said it was 11:20am. About midday, on Earth, but here the sun was just rising. It's pale green light illuminating the Stargate and the mist gave it a mysterious air. The fresh dawn breeze chilled Jack as they jogged towards the gate as fast as they could. The sound of shouts and calls came from behind them as the reached the Stargate.

Teal'c pressed the symbols on the device stood before the Stargate swiftly. With a tremendous whoosh of light and energy, a water-like substance burst from the metal ring. He typed something into the device on his arm; Jack assumed it was the GDO.

Teal'c turned swiftly staring back at the temple as serpent guards poured from the entrance. He shot down a few as he and his friends ran to the gate. He helped them through the gate as staff blasts rang in their ears.

Å

Read on in 'Vulnerability (Part Two)'.

Copyright (c) 2004 Sam I Am


	2. Vulnerability Part Two

Vulnerability

By Sam I Am – 

Rating: PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that) also Daniel/Janet, but not in great detail. Major Character death (and don't let that put you off it!)

Category: Character death, Sam/Jack Romance, mild Daniel/Janet, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, probably AU fic as it couldn't happen in the series, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!

Time frame: Sometime during Season 4, after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Summary: While on a mission to find the Spring of Eternity, SG-1 are captured, but little do they know that Apophis has already found a unique way of making his unbeatable enemy, SG-1, vulnerable!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. 'The Scientist' is sung by Coldplay and the lyrics were used without permission (Sorry!) No Copyright intended, it just fits the story... and it's a really cool song! If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: The first Fan Fic I'm going to archive anywhere! WOO HOO! This has probably taken me the longest out of all my works in progress and the very few I have actually finished. Any feedback would be SO useful. As a young author competing against all the older fanfic writers I'm in need of encouragement, support and, if necessary, constructive criticism! And if you think it's good recommend it! I'd love to hear my stories actually being read instead of sat in an Archive somewhere collecting digital dust!

Dedications: To my Best pal/Editor. You know who you are and you have been such an Angel putting up with my incessant babbling about every story line I've created (if only in my warped imagination) and understanding, even when said story lines altered so many times I can't believe you haven't lost track! Thanks Hon. Also to all you S/J fans and all those writers (there are too many to name you all!) whose masterpieces have been a true blessing to this admirer! Finally, (and this may sound slightly weird) to Freddie Mercury. Though I was barely old enough to string a coherent sentence together when you died, your music has always been my inspiration. Thank you for the music, Freddie!

And so here you are... Vulnerability!

Å

**Part Two**

Jack looked up to see about thirty guns pointed at them. There was a sound of metal scraping against metal and Jack looked behind him to see a metal shield slide across the gate as after a few seconds the gate shut down. He looked at Sam, who lay beside him as cold as the metal ramp. Something was beginning to frighten Jack and whatever it was it was to do with Sam's unconsciousness.

"Come on, Sam," he repeated desperately, shaking her shoulder as gently as possible, "Wake up."

A man's voice came from all around him, "Who are you? Why do you have SG-1's codes? If you tell us, we will not harm you."

As the voice echoed through the speakers Teal'c stared up. Jack followed his eye line. Behind a glass screen stood a man. Whoever he was, Jack had a lot of respect for him.

"General Hammond, it is I."

Once the words had been spoken the man ran out of the room and came through a rising metal door to the left. He approached looking absolutely confused, "Teal'c?" The man stared at the small boy he then turned. His eyes connected with Jack's, "Colonel?"

Jack felt tears in his eyes and immediately swiped at them, "Please, Mister. You've gotta help Sam. She's really hurt. I don't know what's wrong. She won't wake up!"

He felt his eyes still prickling as the short man nodded, "Get a medical team in here. You can tell me what happened later, Colonel."

Suddenly the room was crammed with yet more people. They lifted Sam onto a stretcher as the dark haired woman exclaimed, "What's the emergen...? Oh my God! Sam? Alright guys, I need fluids stat..." She had a good-natured face and Jack knew she was his friend. She began calling out orders as Sam was rushed out of the room.

"Right SG-1, go to the Infirmary."

"Infirmary?" Jack was so confused. He looked at Daniel who looked equally oblivious to what the man was talking about. He then looked back at the short man, "What's the Infirmary?"

General Hammond stared at him in disbelief. Teal'c spoke, "I will debrief you fully later General Hammond, but first I must lead Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson to the Infirmary."

"Yes. I think that would be a good idea Teal'c."

Å

Jack lay on the bed. He couldn't sleep. He looked at his watch. 1:13am. He was too nervous to sleep. He didn't know where he was or what he did. He couldn't remember any of the people who called him by name and... Dr. Fraiser, yeah that was it, was not telling him anything about Sam's condition.

She'd prodded and poked them for hours and finally Dr. Fraiser had declared they were who they said they were. Teal'c had told the General all about their memory loss and torture. Daniel had been asleep while Teal'c had told the General, but Jack had been awake. He was still shivering uncontrollably from the sickening memories and he couldn't stop. The Doctor had given him something to stop the shock and Jack must admit that he only made small shivers now and then, instead of shuddering permanently.

His eyes were fixed on the screen cornering off Sam's part of the Infirmary. Nurses had been bustling in and out from behind the surgical green curtain all day and had got him even more worried. He wanted to know what Doc. Fraiser hadn't told him.

"Speak of the Devil," Jack muttered as Dr. Fraiser came out from behind the screen. She gasped at his voice. She looked up at him shocked. Was she crying?

"Colonel! I didn't expect you to be awake!"

"Doc? What's wrong? It's Sam, isn't it? What's wrong with her?"

She gave a small gasp trying to control her sob. She couldn't make too much noise because Daniel and Teal'c were sleeping.

"It's bad, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid so," she said gently coming to sit at the edge of Jack's bed, "Do you want to see her?"

Jack was out of the bed in a flash and the woman smiled warmly at him beneath her tired features. She took him to the curtain and led him around it.

A lamp was on, its strong luminescence lighting up the pale face that lay on the slightly paler pillows. She looked terrible. An oxygen mask was hooked over her face that was so ashen that her skin was almost translucent. Her hair laid sweat sodden around her forehead, where the nasty gash showed up violently as did the burn on her cheek. She had dark rings beneath her eyes and what looked like a bruise on one side of her face.

Jack lowered himself into the chair beside her. She looked like a corpse and if it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of her chest she could have been.

She had at least twenty wires and tubes going into her body. It was scary how much she resembled some kind of lab experiment. He touched her hand. It was cooler than usual and Jack felt the warning in his heart increase.

He stared up at the doctor who fought back more tears, "What's wrong with her?"

She sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly, "I think that when she severed the link between you and the ribbon device that the blow hit her full on here," she pointed to the side of Sam's head where a large purple bruise had formed, "I tried to stabilise her. The good news is that her brain is still active, but the bad news is she's slipped into a coma..."

Jack stopped listening. Sam was in a coma because of him. Oh God!

He stared at their fingers entwined on the bed cloth. He loved her. He truly loved her. He squeezed her hand tighter as if willing her to wake up.

"She won't wake, Colonel."

"No, she will. I know Sam. She's a fighter!"

"Sir, she won't wake up. About fifteen minutes after you got her through the gate she stopped breathing. She can't breathe on her own..." Jack stared at her in absolute horror as she continued, "I know Major Carter was more than a friend to you Colonel and I know if you could've you would've told her how you felt sooner, but..."

"She knows how I feel. I've already told her."

"You have? But what about the regs?"

Jack frowned at her not knowing what regulations she meant. He sighed, "I can't remember anything about my life up until a few days ago! One of the only things I know is that I love her. In fact, it's the only thing other than their names that I can remember."

The Doctor moved over to him as she spoke, "Sam was one of my closest friends. I know she felt the same way, Colonel..."

And with that she left Jack alone.

The heart beat monitor beeped frequently as Jack stared at the girl. Sam. The girl he loved. The girl who was being kept alive by a machine. The girl who would never remember who she was. The girl who may never wake up again...

"Sam?" he murmured quietly, "Sam? You in there?" He felt his heart ache as there was no reply. He spoke softly, "Well, I'll just assume you can hear me. I was wondering if you could wake up soon. You've got everyone real worried."

After a short silence he muttered to himself, "Don't be such a dumb ass, O'Neill! She can't hear you!" He paused. This was stupid! She couldn't hear him! But Jack could remember something about comas. People sometimes came out of them!

He continued, "Guess what? I really am a Colonel. Teal'c wasn't just making it up. Apparently you're a Major. My second in command. I couldn't ask for anyone better. You've got a PHD in Astrophysics. You're a real brain box! Did you know that? I bet you did! Daniel's an archaeologist... well... something like that. He digs up rocks for a living! You know? Of course you do!"

She lay still and cold faced. 'She can't hear you, Jack! So what's the point in talking to her!'

Jack shook away the thought and continued, his voice faltering slightly, "Your Dad is coming to see you soon." Maybe if he just kept talking he wouldn't break down, "He lives off world. He's a Tok-thingee. You know? Of course you do!"

Jack found himself repeating himself. He shuddered as he felt all the pain and loss hit him. He let a tear fall bitterly from his eyes as he stared at her.

"God I'm sorry, Sam!" He murmured quietly, "This is all my fault! Why did you come back? Why!" He spoke louder frustration taking over. He calmed down, "I can almost hear you now. 'You would have done the same for me, Jack'! And you know, you're right! As always! I would go back for you... because I love you, Sam."

Silence.

He smiled slightly and wiped his watery eyes. He stretched out his right hand and stroked the hair from her face, "You just hang in there, Sam. You can make it. I know you can."

He got up and kissed her softly as if wishing it was a fairy tale, but it wasn't. She wasn't going to wake up.

He sighed and then whispered, "Sweet dreams, Sam."

He sat back down in the chair and watched over her until the Doctor dragged him back to bed a few hours later. Jack drifted back off to an uneasy sleep with endless nightmares that circled in his mind like buzzards. Sam was as good as dead... and it was his fault.

Å

Fog. Goddamn Fog. It was ridiculous. She couldn't see a thing. She felt as though she was floating on water. Or in water. She was so cold. Suddenly her eyesight cleared sharply. A memory flashed through her mind...

_Sam opened her eyes blearily. Instinctively she glanced down at her arm. The 'superman' device now lay on the floor cradling her arm, no longer attached to her. It was then she remembered. She'd hit the force shield._

_She sat up and stared in front of her. He was lying there on the other side of the shield, unconscious. His armband was also lying on the floor beside him..._

He was Jack. There was now not even a shadow of a doubt as to who the mysterious man in her dreams had been. She only had to see him lying there unconscious to know it was him...

_She spoke as loudly as she could. He had to wake up. "Sir?" He didn't stir. She began to worry about him. If he didn't wake up soon... She spoke louder and more urgently, "Colonel!"_

_This time he jolted back awake. First he glanced at her and then down at his arm muttering, "Should've brought more snacks."_

_Humour was his way of covering the fact that the situation was bad. Very bad._

_Sam answered him, "I don't think that would've helped."_

_He nodded slightly and then glanced at his wristwatch as he pushed himself off of the floor, "1: 56."_

1: 56? Sam couldn't remember what that meant. She tried to think hard and then the answer suddenly came to her. Everything about the memory came flooding back. They'd been on a mission to destroy Apophis's new mother ship. They'd planted C-4 in the generator and when it went off they had ten minutes before the whole mountain exploded. 1 minute 54 seconds was how long they had before the C-4...

_Jack hit the force shield with balled fists as if checking it was there. Sam spoke desperately, "Sir, you've gotta get out of here."_

_As if denying her implications of leaving her behind, he muttered, "So do you." He then began to hit the force shield panel beside him with a piece of pipe or something he'd ripped from the wall._

_She spoke again feeling her desperation growing, "Sir, there's no time!"_

_He looked up in shock and fear as they heard sounds of Jaffa approaching from behind her. She glanced behind her and then turned back to face him._

_They stared at each other for a moment as Sam felt herself pleading silently, 'Get out of here, Jack. Leave me.'_

_Sam could feel the desperation of that moment still inside her heart. She could still see clearly the look of extreme anxiety in his eyes. He couldn't leave her. He wouldn't leave her..._

_He began to whack the force shield with the pipe fiercely. He hit it again and again. Sam spoke to him urgently, "Sir...!"_

_Jack interrupted her as he finished hitting the shield with the pipe. His voice cracked slightly under the sudden fear that had gripped him, "I know! I know!"_

_He dropped the pipe and began pulling at the panel with all his might. He finally prised it open and began to hit inside with the pipe._

_Sam could feel tears of terror in her eyes. He had to get out of here or he was going to die... She felt herself saying loudly with absolute urgency, "Sir, just GO!"_

"_NO!"_

_The one word was shouted with such ferocity that Sam felt her eyes wanting to release their tears more. He stood on the other side staring at her his eyes wide as if he'd finally realised why he couldn't leave her here._

_Sam stared at him pleading with him to leave in that instance, but he continued to stare at her with sad, brown eyes, panting gently. She could see moisture glistening on his cheeks, but whether it was sweat or tears she didn't know._

_She was about to whisper, 'Please, Jack. Go.', but the moment the words came into her head the Jaffa appeared around the corner..._

Suddenly her mind clouded again, but she could hear voices murmuring inaudibly. Her hearing became sharper as she heard a familiar voice breaking through the dense mist...

"Sam?"

'_Jack?'_

"Sam? You in there? Well, I'll just assume you can hear me. I was wondering if you could wake up soon. You've got everyone real worried."

'_Jack! Oh, Jack, I'm here!'_ She called through the smog.

"Don't be such a dumb ass, O'Neill! She can't hear you!"

'_I can hear you, Jack!'_ She let a small sob go, _'I can hear you'._

"Guess what? I really am a Colonel. Teal'c wasn't just making it up. Apparently you're a Major. My Second In Command. I couldn't ask for anyone better. You've got a PHD in Astrophysics. You're a real brain box! Did you know that? I bet you did! Daniel's an archaeologist... well... something like that. He digs up rocks for a living! You know? Of course you do!"

Sam smiled in her mind though her body remained inactive. Even when she couldn't see him, he made her smile! "Your Dad is coming to see you soon. He lives off world. He's a Tok-thingee. You know? Of course you do!"

My dad? He's a Tok'ra...?

"_Sam, I've got cancer."_ His deep comforting voice rang in her ears, causing her heart to ache.

Dad! He was alive and well because of the Tok'ra. She remembered him so vividly now. He was coming to see her. And she couldn't say a thing!

She was brought back to Jack as she heard him. His voice cracked as he spoke, "God I'm sorry, Sam! This is all my fault! Why did you come back? Why!"

'_Oh Jack. I should be sorry! It's not your fault! You would've done the same for me, Jack!'_

"I can almost hear you now. 'You would've done the same for me, Jack'! And you know, you're right. As always! I would go back for you... because I love you, Sam."

'_I love you too, Jack. Please! Please say you can hear me!'_

"You just hang in there, Sam. You can make it. I know you can."

She felt his lips touch hers as he kissed her gently.

"Sweet dreams, Sam."

'_Jack...'_ Her mind filled with mist as his voice echoed in her mind and she fell deeper into purposelessness.

Å

Jack woke the next morning to find the Doc stood by his side. She was smiling gently, "Good Morning, Colonel."

Jack wished it was, but Sam was in a coma and he hadn't slept for more than an hour last night between all the restless hours of insomnia. His head ached dully as he sat up in his bed. After his talk with Sam, he'd finally realised that she couldn't hear him. She was beyond his aid. He prayed she was not beyond the Doctor's.

"Colonel? You OK?"

"Don't call me that!" he said a little harsher than he had meant to.

"I'm sorry... Jack, but I think I know why Sam's in a coma and why you guys can't remember anything."

Suddenly Daniel said, "Sam's in a coma? Oh God!" He paused confused, "What's a coma?"

"Danny, she'll tell you later, but will you let the good Doctor finish!"

Jack was sat bolt upright and listened attentively as Daniel slid out of his bed and came to perch on the end of Jack's gurney. Jack could feel Teal'c's presence from behind him obviously he was standing still and silent as usual.

The Doctor began her eyes shifting between them, "Teal'c told me you were dipped into the Fountain of Youth," they all nodded in agreement, "Well, I discovered a new and unique type of bacteria in your blood stream. It appears to have reversed your aging processes, but I think that the liquid was actually designed for use on Jaffa or Goa'ulds."

"Why do you say that?" Daniel asked confused.

"The bacteria are meant to place Goa'ulds or Prim'tas into a deep sleep or hibernation so they are not damaged. The reason your memories are blocked is because instead of the bacteria affecting your non-existent symbiote it is affecting your brain that is except for Teal'c. The reason you have been sleeping instead of Kel'no'reem is because your symbiote is dormant. You were behaving like a normal human."

"Can whatever the hell has been done to us, be undone?"

"Yes, Colonel, uh... Jack. Once the bacteria are destroyed you should take a maximum of a week to get back to your original age. The process will be quite painful, but your memories should return during the process..."

"What about Sam?" Jack asked almost hesitantly, "Is there anyway you can get her back to normal?"

"I'm not entirely sure. The reason she is in a coma is because of her memories of Jolinar. The bacteria are confused because she doesn't have a symbiote, but she still does, if you see what I mean..."

"Sam was a Goa'uld!"

"No, Colonel. Sam wasn't a Goa'uld. She was a Tok'ra."

"Indeed. Major Carter was a Tok'ra for a few days, O'Neill," Teal'c said answering Jack's exclamation. It made Jack jump. He'd always found Teal'c had a knack for speaking suddenly and making someone jump.

Dr. Fraiser continued, "She slipped into a coma because of the bacteria won the battle. Teal'c, you said Sam began to remember things?"

"Indeed, Major Carter retrieved a few of her memories."

"I think that's why the bacteria won. Sam breaking into her memories weakened them and the bacteria took over..."

Jack growled, "They don't sound like bacteria to me!"

"In every physical respect they are, but they seem to be... intelligent forms of life."

Daniel and Jack said in unison, "You what?!?"

"You heard me right." She sighed, "I'm sorry. I can kill off the bacteria in all of you, but whether Sam will come out of the coma or not... I have no say over."

Jack groaned as suddenly the claxons broke into the uneasy silence.

"Off World Activation. Repeat. Off World Activation..."

The claxons halted abruptly. Jack felt sick to his stomach suddenly, the upcoming confrontation already fraying his nerves. It was gonna be Sam's dad.

The phone rang as Janet ran into her office to answer it.

"Dr. Fraiser... General... Yes, Sir... Send him up straight away, Sir... No, Sir there's been no change... Alright, Sir."

She put down the phone as Daniel made his way back to his bed, "Jacob's on his way up."

Jack groaned again. He'd have to meet Sam's dad. No, scratch that, he'd already met Sam's dad.

"Doctor, when can we see Sam?" Daniel said quietly.

"After Jacob's seen her and, Daniel, its Janet," She smiled, "Though you guys probably don't remember me!"

"No I don't," Daniel said smiling back, "But I know you're part of the gang!"

To Jack's surprise she chuckled, "Yeah. The Gang... Hey! I know! Would you like to see some photos?"

Jack seemed to like the idea. He couldn't remember what they had looked like before their metamorphosis. He got up from the gurney and nodded. He walked over towards Sam's bed, but couldn't bring himself to walk around the screen.

Janet rushed out the room into her office and brought out a dark blue photo album. She passed it to Daniel as suddenly the doors of the Infirmary burst open and a man skidded in. He was dressed oddly, Tok'ra uniform no doubt, and his eyes were filled with worry. He was balding and had dark brown hair and eyes.

He looked over at them and gasped slightly, "Dr. Jackson? Teal'c? Colonel?" He shook his head from the distraction and turned back to Janet, "Where's Sam?"

Janet pointed to the curtain and Jack watched as the man jogged past him and then behind the partition. Jack followed him as his eyes fell again upon Sam beneath the wires and leads.

"Oh God, No!" Jacob Carter collapsed into the chair beside her bed as he groaned, "Sam? Honey? You in there somewhere, Sammy?" He clasped her hand tightly and turned to Colonel O'Neill or rather the younger version.

He stood by the partition his eyes transfixed on Sam's face. He knew that look. He'd seen it in the depths of Jack's eyes before, but nothing as outright and vivid. It frightened him slightly, as he realised what the look meant. He was a boy again, barely older than 16 and he could love with that capacity...

He spoke to the kid as he began to edge forward, "How old do they reckon she is?"

"We're still the same age, but we've been altered to look and, well be younger, not to mention we don't remember a lot." He cleared his throat as he mumbled quietly, "We guessed fifteen."

"Yeah," he turned back to look at his daughter's face, "That's about right." He glanced at Jack as he came to rest on the other chair at his side. His face was full of worry and it unnerved him, "What actually happened?"

Colonel O'Neill's eyes connected with his momentarily and then he began to stare at his hands as he recounted all he could remember of the mission. From waking up in the cell to running through the gate as they were chased by the Jaffa. He, of course, left out one part of his story. It was private and precious to him and he would be insane to mention it to her dad of all people.

As he finished he saw tears in Jacob's eyes. Now was a good time to leave. He got up and left leaving the man to himself as he rejoined Teal'c and Daniel.

They were both going through the photo album. Daniel's mouth gaped opened, but Teal'c's face was unreadable. He perched down next to them and stared at the photo.

He felt his own jaw drop. Was that really them?

It was an air force photo. One man and a woman stood in blue uniform, while two other men stood in fatigues. The woman was obviously Sam. Her hair was air force short, but still made her look feminine. She was smiling; her teeth even and pearly white, and her eyes sparkled like sunshine on water. She was beautiful! She wore a hat with her uniform that suited her short hair quite well. Her grin seemed to be infectious even when she was in a photograph and Jack could fell his mouth curving into a warm smile.

Behind her and slightly to her left stood Teal'c. His skin was darker than the others and the emblem gilded on his forehead was a bit of a give away! He towered over the rest of them and stood solemn faced. He was muscular and brawny and looked nothing like the kid, who sat silently beside him.

He looked at the other man in the leaf green fatigues. He was smiling and Jack couldn't help, but notice that his glasses were slightly askew. The small figure was obviously Daniel. He looked rather awkward next to all the others in the photo because there was Teal'c tall and brawny, Sam well-shaped and beautiful and then...

As Jack's eyes fell upon the man he uttered a Goa'uld swear word, the only swear word he could remember. He gaped at the man stood next to Sam. He was taller than Daniel, but not as tall as Teal'c. He was quite well built, but not stocky. Under his air force cap, you could see dark greying hair and even darker twinkling eyes. He was grinning. And that grin was unmistakably his own.

"Jack...?" Daniel glanced up at him a look of utter bafflement on his face.

"Yeah, Daniel. It's weird," Jack nodded.

Jack glanced up as Dr. Fraiser approached. She gave him a small smile, "If you want I have the antidote ready. I'm warning you it will be quite painful, but your memories will return. You'll be normal again."

Jack glanced at the veiling curtain and then at Teal'c and Daniel. He turned back to Janet and nodded.

Å

Three weeks later... 

Janet glanced up at her clock as he stepped into the Infirmary. 'Right on time as usual', she thought to herself as she watched him give her a small wave. She watched as he walked over to the silent woman slowly.

Janet's prediction that she would go back to the way she was with the antidote had been correct although it had taken her slightly longer than the others, but Sam was still in a coma and it looked as if she would never wake.

Janet sighed sadly as the Colonel sat down in the chair as usual smiling slightly. She could lip-read what he said as he said it every day he was down here.

"Hey Carter. Fancy some company?"

Today she saw the sadness in his face. Today was the day. The day the machines were switched off. Jacob had finally given consent after a month of waiting and hoping that Sam would cling on. Even though there was brain activity, Janet knew that it was almost impossible for Sam to come out of it after so long. He'd be arriving later.

Sam's brother, Mark, was not coming to see her. For a start he couldn't because there was no way they could move her and the SGC was a top-secret facility. Also, he hadn't wanted to because as far as he was concerned she was already dead. Jacob and him had already had another huge fight and without Sam being the peacemaker they were still at each other's throats.

She continued to watch the man in the Infirmary. He stared at his boots and Janet could tell what he was saying to the seemingly oblivious Major.

The door to her office was open a jar and she could hear his voice as it floated through the small gap, "I guess I came here to say... goodbye," the look of shock his face made Janet's heart tug painfully. He gave a small smile, "But we have a few hours, so it's not goodbye just yet."

Janet couldn't bear to listen to the Colonel pouring out his soul. He'd seen enough pain and suffering in his life and he'd already lost more than anyone should loose. Janet thought she might breakdown into tears, but curiosity stopped her from closing the office door and she listened for a few hours as the Colonel talked to her. He talked about everything and nothing for three and a half hours. About how those damn TV producers didn't put 'The Simpsons' on the TV enough. About how frustrating it was that he couldn't do anything to help. About how his Hockey team were still on a winning streak. About how much he wanted her to come back to him. About how he'd talked to her plants for her and how they were missing her very much. About how much he loved her...

Janet glanced at her watch as she realised that Jacob would be arriving in 30 minutes and then as she glanced up that Daniel and Teal'c had now walked into the Infirmary.

Daniel looked like he was mourning already and even Teal'c looked unusually sombre. Janet stood up and walked out to them.

The Colonel ignored them as he continued to talk to Sam quietly. Janet could tell that the only thing that would stop his conversation with her would be the moment the machine was switched off.

Janet walked over to Daniel and signalled for them to step outside the Infirmary. She fixed Daniel with a worried gaze. No one really knew about her and Daniel. Even Daniel didn't remember how they'd been before that mission. Janet had to admit she loved him and since about a year ago every time he went off world her stomach would be twisted into a tight knot the size of Texas!

"Daniel, are you alright?"

He looked at her now and whispered, "No, I guess not."

"It will be a significant loss."

Daniel snapped at him, "It's more than a significant loss!" He sighed gently and then murmured, "I'm sorry, Teal'c. I just can't believe it."

Teal'c inclined his head, "I apologise also. You must accept that my use of your language is quite frank."

Daniel just gave him a small smile and turned back to Janet, "How are you?"

Janet stared at the floor and didn't answer. Daniel didn't push for an answer and glanced up at Jack. He was now holding Sam's hand as he spoke and Janet could tell he knew that the final goodbye was advancing.

The claxons signalled Jacob's arrival loudly and Janet noticed the absolute look of despair on Jack's face as he stared at the body lying before him, but he continued talking. Even though she couldn't hear him she knew he was stumbling over the words he spoke.

She strode into the Infirmary and back into her office, as Daniel and Teal'c made their way to the gate room.

She heard Jack mumbling, "Please wake up, Carter. If you don't you're going to die and... I really don't want you to die."

Janet stared down at her papers and then she heard a small blip noise and glanced up at her computer screen.

Something was wrong with Sam's breathing apparatus. The pump was being forced with increased air pressure.

Janet looked up at the Colonel and saw him stood staring at Sam with worry and fear. Janet's eyes immediately moved to the figure. The woman was choking violently. She rushed out of the room. The Colonel looked at her, "Doc, there's something wrong!"

"I know, Colonel, but there's only one explanation for increased air pressure in that tube," she strode over by Sam and pulled the tube from Sam's mouth slowly. She continued to shake with violent coughs, before she began to stop choking and her breathing became shallow, her chest rising and falling by itself.

"Holy... Lazarus!" Janet said as a shocked tear found its way from her eyes. She swivelled around to the Colonel, "And that explanation is that the person is breathing on their own! Keep talking to her!"

He obeyed immediately and grabbed her hand tightly as he said, "Come on, Sam. Wake up! You can do it. Please wake up."

Janet heard a surprised, "What the...?" from behind her and turned to see Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond and Jacob stood by the door.

Janet's eyes went back to Jack who was stroking Sam's hand in his, "Please, Sam."

He continued to hold her hand tightly staring at her face. They were stood in the Infirmary for what seemed like hours watching Jack murmuring encouragement to Sam.

Suddenly, Sam's eyelids began to twitch silently. Jacob ran to Jack's side as did everyone else, but Jack didn't let go off her hand.

He whispered quietly as everyone held their breath, "Sam?"

As the woman's eyes opened slightly she said, "Jack?" He voice was hoarse as she whispered, "You know... a girl needs her... beauty sleep."

Janet found tears pouring from her eyes as Daniel suddenly whooped for joy and grabbed her in a tight hug planting a kiss on her cheek. The two Generals were laughing with relief as Jack whispered, "You're back... I can't believe you're back!"

Sam fixed him in her eye line and whispered, "It's not time... for goodbye... not yet."

Jack stood up as she continued to watch him. Jacob quickly took Jack's place knelt by her side and kissed her and began to cry slightly as he told her how much he loved her and other things.

Jack continued to move to the back of the group and finally made his way out of the Infirmary a shocked grin on his face.

People who past him looked confused by his expression and all stared at him as he strolled by. Suddenly, he fell to his knees in the middle of the corridor and yelled up at the ceiling, "I owe you one, Big Guy!"

Å

Jack returned to the Infirmary in the dead of night after Jacob had finally gone to bed. He guessed it was the only way of being able to see Sam as everyone else was always crowding her.

He entered quietly and walked over to the woman's bedside. She was still deathly pale, but she slept peacefully, the sound of her soft breathing relieving him to no end.

He gently stroked her hair as he murmured, "I'm so glad you're OK." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead as he whispered, "I love you, Samantha Carter."

A ghost of a smile appeared on the woman's lips as she continued to sleep. He smiled slightly himself and turned with a jump to find Janet stood feet away from him, one eyebrow raised slightly.

He felt himself blush as he murmured, "Hi Janet. Uh..."

She smiled, "No need to turn into a tomato, Colonel," She spoke seriously, "I think that was extremely cute."

Jack flushed even more as he murmured, "Well, you women are always big on romance."

Janet chuckled softly, "So are you, as it would seem."

"You know me. I just say whatever comes into my head first. I'm too simple to say the right things."

Janet's smile was sincere as she murmured, "You say all the right things, Colonel."

There was a short silence as Fraiser continued to smile at him. Jack noticed the woman hadn't stopped smiling since Sam had spoken softly.

Jack glanced at the sleeping woman in the bed again as he murmured to the doctor, "How is she?"

Janet's smile faded slightly, "She's better, but..." She glanced at the pale and weak woman and then murmured, "Let's talk in my office."

That worried Jack immediately, as the Doc lead him into her office...

Å

Four Days Later...

Ever since Fraiser's analysis, Jack had been avoiding the Infirmary. He couldn't face Sam. It was so much to digest. She'd never be the same again. She still had her memories, but Doc Fraiser had said she was extremely lucky not to have amnesia or something similar. That was the good news! The bad news was instead of amnesia her bodily defences were literally damaged beyond repair and that she was much more susceptible to viruses and diseases.

The worst part had been when Fraiser had said that in her condition she would never be able to be in SG-1, let alone, work again. With her immune system so degraded she would have what to everyone else would be the common cold, but to her it would be like getting pneumonia. She wouldn't last more than a dozen missions going off world.

The part Jack couldn't digest was the fact she wouldn't be his 2IC anymore, which was good and bad. The Big Guy in the sky had a funny way of putting things. Sam was the best damn 2IC in the world. She was loyal, dependable, brave, and smart, not to mention she could kick Goa'uld arse, but... The Big Guy had made her gorgeous. Oh, he must have had a lot of laughs about them. Jack couldn't help, but feel that God was finding their situation extremely funny, but he was obviously feeling slightly sorry for them now and was giving them a chance.

Jack found that wandering aimlessly around the base was not a good way to ignore Sam. He'd ended up in her lab, as it seemed his feet always led towards her lab unless he was purposefully going some place else.

He looked around and immediately found the part of him he'd been trying to avoid. Part of his heart would always be with her and looking around at her possessions he realised that he needed them. Carter's organised chaos. The endless piles of notes he'd never understand, the computer with the keyboard so worn you could barely see the letters, the box full of CDs and Floppy disks all in alphabetical order (after his tidy up), the mug of cold coffee lying half drunken, all the gadgets and doodads in pieces strewn over the desk, the books on Astrophysics in the old bookcase and the photo frame propped up against the base of the computer. He picked it up. SG-1. His eyes fell on Sam, grinning as she put her arms around his and Teal'c's shoulders, and he realised he needed her...

Before he could stop himself he was striding as fast as he could to the Infirmary. She must think he was an insensitive bastard! He hadn't been to visit her since she'd got the news. What a jerk!

All he could think about was her. Jack realised it had been pretty much the same for years, but now instead of pushing his thoughts aside and denying to himself he'd ever had them, he focussed on them. Images of her he'd not remember yet kept popping up in his brain. Just little things. Something she's said at a certain moment that had made him want to smile, the cute way she frowned when she was trying to concentrate, the way he always put her coffee mug the wrong way round on her desk so that she had to do that funny thing with her wrist when she swivelled the whole mug around...

As he entered the Infirmary everyone who was in there found an excuse to leave immediately. As the last nurse rushed out for some incoherent reason, Jack's eyes fell on the dazzling blue eyes he'd wanted to see for almost a month.

Sam sat in the bed her back propped up by snowy white pillows. She was still incredibly pale, but at least she didn't look like a machine anymore. Her hair was dishevelled and she still had dark rings under her eyes. Jack had to admit she'd looked better.

"Colonel," she said warily as he walked slowly towards her.

"Carter."

"Janet said I was in a coma for almost month..."

"Yeah," Jack said quietly. There was a lengthy awkward pause...

"Sam..."

"Jack..."

They both spoke at the same time and then both laughed self-consciously. Sam signalled for Jack to speak first. He stared at his hands as he mumbled, "Sam, I...," he sighed and looked up from his fidgeting fingers, "Never scare me like that again!"

"I won't," she smiled tenderly and Jack realised he'd missed her smile. How soppy could you get!!! And yet he had. He had missed her warm smile a lot more than he cared to admit.

"Jack?" she asked hesitantly breaking the spell that had fallen over him.

"Yeah."

"I heard." She murmured quietly as her beautiful blue eyes transfixed him where he stood.

Jack looked confused for a second and then sighed. She meant when he'd been speaking to her in the dark days when she'd been in the coma, "I'm ... I'm glad you heard. I was worried. I was worried you couldn't. I was worried..." His voice trailed away as he stared at her.

"I was yelling, but I couldn't speak. I smiled, but I couldn't smile," she whispered quietly, her voice choked with emotion, "I was reaching out for you, but I couldn't move."

She gave a little cough trying to shoot the sadness out of her throat. Jack came and sat in the chair beside her as she coughed again.

Her body quivered with each cough, reminding Jack of how frail she was at the moment. Jack rubbed her back gently as she coughed harder. He could feel her spine sticking out. It was frightening and Jack knew then that Fraiser was right. She wouldn't last off world. There were so many illnesses and strange diseases that would kill her while everyone else would just get a slight stomach-ache.

When she finished choking, Jack spoke softly, "You OK?"

"No," she gave a small sob.

Jack pulled her into a hug as she cried into his shoulder. He spoke gently and continued to rub her back, "I know how you feel."

"How can you! How can anybody understand!" She moaned quietly, "I can never work again. I'm not aloud to go outside too often! Janet says if I catch flu, I'm more likely to die than a normal person who gets a serious form of cancer!" She began to cry large tears rolling down her pale cheeks, her back shuddering violently, "I can't do anything without putting myself at risk! I'm like a huge sensitive baby! People have to keep an eye on me whatever I do saying things like 'Don't smell that flower', 'Don't' eat that', 'Don't go outside'! I could die tomorrow! I could die today!"

Jack just pulled her closer. He didn't know what to say. Sam was right. No one could even begin to understand. Who knows how many pills and medicines she would have to take everyday of her life for the rest of her life. Who knows whether she'd ever be able to sniff a flower again without going into some form of serious shock. Who knows how anyone could ever comprehend the kind of confinement she'd have to live with for the rest of her life.

Her back stopped shuddering and Jack felt her chin resting on his shoulder. He looked at her. She stared around her, "Janet says I'm being moved to the air force hospital. I'm just a waste of space around here."

"Don't say that, Sam," he cupped her face in his hand, "You never have and never will be a waste of space. You are amazing. You're smart, loyal, friendly, kind, not to mention..." he paused, "...absolutely gorgeous!"

She smiled quietly, "Really?"

"Would I say something soppy otherwise?" She gave a small laugh, as Jack continued, "If you go there I'll visit everyday. Even if I'm meant to be here! If I can't come I'll send Daniel to bug you. I'm sure Teal'c will be there almost 24/7, you know what he's like when it comes to his friends."

"No, actually," Sam grinned, "Can't remember anyway!"

"Don't worry. I'm still remembering as I go."

She nodded. Her head rested on his chest as she stared into his eyes, "Thank you."

"What for? I'm just doing Daniel's job while he's... translating or cataloguing.... whatever he does when he's not in here clucking over you."

Sam chuckled gently, "No. Thank you... for loving me."

Jack looked surprised. She was grinning. He knew she was right. She knew she was right. Jack smiled, "I should be thanking you for letting me love you," she shook her head gently still smiling as he whispered, "And I do, Sam. I really do."

She smiled happily and rubbed her cheek on his shoulder, "I love you too." She yawned slightly and Jack fluffed up her pillows as she rested back down.

"I better get some sleep," she yawned, "Janet will kill me if I don't!"

"Sweet dreams, Sam."

She clasped his hand gently as she closed her eyes, "Night Jack." She opened them again suddenly and stared at him, "When I leave the air force..."

"You're coming fishing! No, buts!

Sam gave a small smile, "I'll take a rain check."

"For once in my life, I'm being serious, Sam. Once you're well enough to come home I was kinda hoping you'd come... stay with me for a while."

"Yeah I'd like that," she closed her eyes, "But I'm not sure about Minnesota. Too much outside for me to handle," she said gloomily.

"Even if I have to put the whole damn state in a force shield, you're coming to Minnesota!"

Sam smiled her eyes still closed; "You'd do that for me?"

"Sure! Why not?"

"I'm warning you. Janet has hearing as good as a dog. Don't speak too loud. She might hold you up to the force shield idea!"

"Why?" Jack asked confused.

Sam kept her eyes closed as she yawned, "Because I've wanted to come to your cabin for so long and Janet knows that," She yawned again, "Whatever drugs she's pumping into me they're working! I can barely stay awake!"

"Then don't," Jack murmured, "Go to sleep."

"Good logic..." Her voice faded away as she drifted off.

Å

Eight months later...

"It's more beautiful than I ever imagined!"

Jack smiled and opened his door. His foot made a crunching sound as he stepped on the snow that covered his drive.

He lifted the crutches out of the back and opened her door. She unfastened her seat belt as he helped her out of the passenger's seat. She slid her hands through the cool, plastic rings of the crutches and leant on them heavily.

She looked around. The fir trees were covered with the snow as was the cabin. It reminded Sam of a Christmas postcard!

She'd only been released seven months ago after the long month she'd spent in the hospital. After another month of being pushed around in a wheelchair she'd made Janet give her crutches. They were much easier to use and eased the pain in her legs. Though at first she'd found using them difficult after six months of using them she was a pro.

Her body was still not working properly. Her arms and legs were weak and she found it hard to stand without the crutches. In fact, it was almost impossible. It made her miserable.

One thing kept her trying. Jack. He was always there smiling and encouraging. He'd spent almost the whole time she'd been recuperating trying to convince Janet to let her come to Minnesota with him. Janet had finally caved, but only for Christmas.

The ebbing light of the cold, December day cast a fresh light over the forest landscape and made the snow glisten and the icicles that hung from the cabin roof sparkle.

She smiled slightly as Jack waved his hand in front of her eyes. She looked at him. He was grinning, "Don't need you drifting off, Sam! I'd have to carry you inside!"

She nodded as he locked the truck and then without warning lifted her up, "What the heck? I'll carry you in anyway." Sam let out a surprised shriek of laughter and realised it had been the first time she'd laughed properly in a while. He'd noticed as well and the look of joy on his face was almost indescribable. They stepped inside and Jack placed Sam down on a couch.

She collapsed and stretched her legs out. They cramped so easily, that they usually ached after car journeys. She looked around her. It was wonderful and just as Sam imagined it. Pictures of Earth and stars on the walls, a telescope propped by the window, a few pictures of SG-1, a comfy couch and an armchair, an open chimney, chess board that had been left half-way through a game and in the corner she noticed a fishing rod.

Jack came back from where she assumed was the kitchen with two beers. Sam smiled as he gave her one. She took a swig, as he collapsed on the couch beside her.

"Welcome to Jack's Cabin!"

Sam grinned, "It's great! I'm so glad you convinced Janet to let me come! I would never have forgiven her if she hadn't."

Jack smiled obviously pleased with himself, "Hey! Don't give me too much credit! You know what Danny's like when he gets hung up on an idea!"

Sam gave a small laugh, "Oh Janet's probably regretting ever saying 'Yes'!"

"Yeah, well so would I if I realised my name was gonna become Janet Jackson!"

Sam laughed. Daniel had proposed to Janet a month ago and still Jack seemed to slip in that quip whenever he could!

She stared at him. It would be Christmas Day tomorrow. She'd had the best Christmas present ever in November!

And at this present time it glittered on her finger. She looked down at the engagement ring and found her lips curving into a smile. Jack and Daniel had had a pact. An 'if-you-propose-then-I-will' pact. Janet and Daniel were getting married in the summer, but Sam had wanted to get married sooner. She would be Mrs. O'Neill in a month! The thought made her smile even wider.

She then noticed Jack was grinning as well. He was just watching her quietly.

"What?" she smiled.

"I'm just glad you're smiling and laughing again. It feels like forever since I last heard you laugh," he spoke sincerely, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Sam snorted although there was a small pain in her deep blue eyes, "Yeah I'm usually a miserable invalid, aren't I?"

Jack shook his head and looked at her seriously, "You're not an invalid, Sam."

"How do you work that one out?" Sam said wretchedly.

Jack's eyebrow rose as his face became a quirky expression, "Can invalids be that good in the bedroom?!?"

"Jack!"

"What? I'm your fiancé! I'm allowed to say stuff like that!"

She shook her head fondly and got up slipping her hands into her crutches, "Can I call Janet? I wanna thank her again."

"Sure," Jack smiled again, "I'll go see what provisions there are. You hungry?"

"Yeah."

"I'll start making supper then," he got up from the chair and walked into the kitchen. Sam checked he was busy. He turned on the radio and began searching the cupboards. She grabbed the phone and sat as far away from the kitchen as she could.

She dialled Janet's number. She listened to it ring until the ringing stopped abruptly and a familiar voice said, "Hello? Janet Fraiser speaking."

"Janet, Hi!"

Janet gasped happily, "Sam! How are you? Are you calling from the cabin?"

Sam grinned, "Yes. Oh Jan! It's fantastic. It's so beautiful up here. We're gonna have a great Christmas."

"I don't doubt that..." Janet paused awkwardly, "Are you phoning about...?"

"Yeah," she said in a hushed voice, "It's about what we discussed."

"The abortion? Are you gonna...?"

"No," Sam checked the kitchen door, "But I'm worried. What if... because I'm so ill..."

"Sam, I honestly don't think anything bad will happen to the baby."

"I just... don't want to get his hopes up and then..."

"Sam," Janet spoke softly, "The worse that will happen is that you might have to have caesarean, but other than that the baby is perfectly healthy. I'm assuming you haven't told him."

"Christmas present," Sam said quietly.

Janet sounded slightly doubting, "Sam, you should tell him. Have you got the ultrasound?"

"Yeah," Sam smiled slightly, "He'll love it..."

"He'll love what?" Jack said as he came into the room.

Sam moved into defensive mode, "Me and Janet were just discussing what she got Daniel for Christmas."

Jack gave her a small smile although she could see the slight disbelief in his eyes at her excuse, "Oh, let me guess. It's really old and needs translating..."

"Close enough," Sam said gently.

Jack spoke again, "I was just wondering if you wanted pizza or pasta. We have both."

"Pasta would be great," Sam said as Jack went back into the kitchen.

"That was close," Janet said. She went back to the original subject, "You should tell him.

Besides you won't be able to hide it forever. You shouldn't underestimate him. He's noticed the fact you now wear really baggy clothes and the fact you won't get into bed with him anymore. Jack's worried about you. Apparently, he asked Daniel if you'd been acting weird lately. Daniel, being Daniel spoke a little too guiltily when he said he hadn't noticed anything abnormal about you and ever since Jack's been more edgy than usual around him. Daniel's keeping the secret, but Jack's bound to realise some time, Sam."

"Yeah. Thanks Janet. I'll tell him."

"OK. Merry Christmas, Sam."

"Merry Christmas."

Å

Jack watched Sam worriedly. She hadn't spoken to him, since she'd made that phone call. She was avoiding him and Jack had no idea why. And that worried him. For once he had no idea what he'd done wrong!

Jack looked up at her, "Look, whatever I've done, I'm sorry! Just stop giving me the silent treatment!"

She looked at him a small, sad smile creeping onto her face, "It's not you. Don't worry. I'm not mad with you..."

"Then what?" Jack sighed frustrated, "Sam, you've been acting really weird lately." She looked at him in surprise as he continued, "In fact, you've been acting strange for about two months. Why? What have I done?"

"Nothing," Sam whispered sadly.

"Then what in God's name is up with you? I'm worried sick. You hardly let me within a foot of you anymore. Is it you've stopped loving me? Did you even love me in the first place?"

"Of course I love you," she said sincerely as he stared at her.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I-I can't tell you..."

He spoke slightly angrily, "Jesus, Sam! It's me. Jack. Your fiancé. You know. The guy who's going to marry you because he loves you. If you can't tell me, the guy who'd do anything for you, then who the hell can you tell?"

Sam felt like she was about to cry. They sat staring into each other's eyes for a few minutes until her eyes dropped to her plate and she whispered, "I'm sorry, Jack."

He got up from the table, "I'm going for a drive."

He grabbed his jacket and his cell phone and shut the door behind him. She heard the truck pull out of the drive and began to cry, "I'm sorry..."

Å

Sam hadn't slept a wink, but she'd heard him come in. It was early in the morning, about 1am. He'd gone into the spare room.

It was technically Christmas Day now and Sam got up. She grabbed her crutches and quietly walked into the spare room. Jack was asleep in the single bed. She stood in silence and watched the man. She could always tell when Jack wasn't sleeping well. He was curled up in a ball beneath the duvet his arms clutched around his chest. Her heart was in physical pain as she watched him. She felt so sorry for him. Yet another man she seemed to have hurt badly during her lifetime.

Sam grabbed the stocking she'd bought for him. It was one of those SG-1 traditions. Usually they all spent Christmas at someone's house and in the morning everyone's stocking would be filled with presents from their friends. Sam slid the picture into the stocking with a note and slipped it on the end of his bed.

She watched him for another second before she turned and left, hobbling back to her room. She almost dropped her crutches and collapsed on the cold bed. She shivered feeling extremely lonely and crawled beneath the covers pulling them close around her. She wrapped her chilled body into a tight ball and pulled her head beneath the covers as she cried herself to sleep.

Å

Sam opened her eyes slowly and then closed them remembering what had happened the night before. This was the one Christmas that she never wanted to get up for, except perhaps that year she'd had that awful hangover.

She crawled out of bed and grabbed her crutches. She hobbled over to the window and pulled back the curtain. It was still early and the sun hadn't risen over the mountains yet. A sprinkling of snow continued to fall from the heavens and dust the already blanketed landscape.

"What a beautiful day to fuck up you life!" Sam muttered to herself angrily. She wouldn't be surprised if he left her after the way she'd been treating him. She sighed softly. Well, she'd have to face him at some point.

She gently pushed open the door and move a silently as she could towards the spare room. She gave a small gasp as her eyes fell on the living room. The place was decorated with tinsel and a sparkling Christmas tree, laden with softly twinkling white lights and a tiny angel Charlie had made when he was six, sat proudly atop. All their presents had been placed beneath the spindly branches and the fire was crackling and flickering in the fireplace.

She knew the way Jack's mind worked and knew he must have felt guilty after having a go at her and so when he'd returned home, undoubtedly drunk, he'd just collapsed on the single bed and dozed straight off. When he'd woken alone, Sam guessed he'd realised what he'd said and decided to make it up to her as best he could.

She gave a small sigh barely audible as she realised how much she loved him. It hurt to know that he thought this was all his fault. He had a tendency to blame everything on himself. Probably thinking he hadn't loved her enough or hadn't looked after her enough. He'd always given her the space she needed to get used to her 'new' body. Now he probably thought he hadn't smothered her enough...

She continued to shuffle silently to Jack's room feeling her heart aching and just wanting for him to hold her again. The door was open a crack, so she peered through the small gap as she stood outside the room.

Jack was sat on the end of the bed, head in hands. He was muttering to himself, "That's two now, O'Neill. Two women you've cared about more than any other and they despise you." He sighed, "Ah crap! Why am I such a dumb ass...?" He suddenly looked up and saw the stocking. He grimaced proving to her that either he'd forgotten or he was already feeling guilty enough without her giving him the traditional stocking. She watched as he lifted up the stocking and the picture and note fell, face down onto the duvet.

He frowned slightly and picked up the note. He turned it over and began to read, "Jack, I'm sorry about the past few weeks. I never meant to make you unhappy and I love you. I hope you'll forgive me for being so stupid and understand why I was acting so weird. Merry Christmas, Love Sam." He closed his eyes sadly and murmured, "Oh God. What have I done?"

She held her breath as he opened his eyes again and looked straight down at the photo lying face down. He reached for it, lifted it up slowly and turned it over...

He froze. He sat there staring at the picture. His eyes wide and his jaw slackened into a fish-like expression and Sam had the feeling if he'd been standing, he would have keeled over.

After what felt like hours of silence, he spoke in absolute shock, "Oh my God..."

Sam decided to face the music and gently pushed the door open, stepping inside with as little noise as possible.

It was only when her crutch collided with the doorframe that Jack looked up from the picture and saw her. She looked quite a mess. Her eyes had red marks under them and they were bloodshot. Her hair was sticking up all over the place and her lip was trembling. She was on the brink of tears as she whispered, "I'm sorry..."

Jack just sat there staring at her in surprise and shock, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sam stared at her crutches as tears welled to a dangerous level in her eyes, "I was worried. That... because I'm this way... the baby would be hurt... I was considering abortion..."

"Why?" Jack whispered.

"I was worried that the baby might die... I couldn't cope. You'd be so devastated," her words came out in a shaky sob, "I thought... you'd hate me."

Jack stepped towards her until he was right in front of her, "Oh, Sam." Tears rolled down her cheeks as he tilted her chin up so she stared into his eyes, "No matter what, I could never hate you." He lifted up her hand and pointed to the engagement ring glinting on her finger, "Through think and thin, through sickness and health, through glad times, sad times and all those times you become so pissed with me that I have all manner of electrical appliances flying towards my head..." Sam gave a relieved smile as he whispered, "I will still love you. Always."

She gave a relieved sob, as he pulled her into a tight hug, holding her close. She spoke her voice a frightened whisper, "I was so scared..."

He could feel the lump of their unborn child pressed against his own stomach and realised she'd been hiding it from him all this time. He pulled back and pulled a face, "Now, how did I miss that?" Sam gave a tearful laugh and he pulled her back into a tight hug, "Now I understand why you wanted to get married so soon and then wouldn't even let me hug you."

"It's bad enough I'll be a miserable, sickly, invalid bride, let alone a fat, miserable, sickly, invalid bride!"

Jack fixed her with another serious glance, "But you're none of those things, Sam. The only part that you will ever be is the bride part," Jack grinned, "And well, you might get a little plump..." She gave him a glare as he let out a small chuckle, "God, when you weren't talking to me I was worried you hated me or that you were having an affair..."

Sam snorted, "Me?"

Jack gave a small smile, "That's the problem with falling in love with the most beautiful woman in the world," he shook his head, "Guys kill to even have you smiling at them!"

She felt herself smile, but then it disappeared and she looked down at the icy metal of the crutches, "They used to, Jack. Once, they did. Now, all they are doing is watching me with pity."

Jack smiled sadly as he whispered, "Guess that rules out competition! I was beginning to worry that... well, you and Daniel...!"

"Daniel!?!" Sam snorted again at her fiancé's confessions.

Jack spoke embarrassed lowering his gaze, "Well, when I asked him if he'd noticed you acting peculiar and he went 'No. Of course not. How should I know?' He spoke so guiltily I thought...

"Daniel's already taken anyway!"

"I know, but Daniel's 'I'm-going-to-act-like-I-have-a-guilty-conscience-even-though-I'm-only-covering-for-a-friend' routine was very worrying!" Sam didn't laugh or smile and Jack suddenly felt worried again. He spoke anxiously, "Sam?"

She looked up at him and then down at her crutches, "I'm glad I have someone who loves me, the way I am."

"I can't believe I'm the only one, Sam," Jack felt slight relief, but he was still worried. He sighed as they stood in silence for a long time. He then said with a smile, "Cheer up. It's Christmas. That means we have at least 48hrs to eat as much crap as we want. We'll eat first and then I think its time we got to work on that pile of loot sat beneath the tree," Sam chuckled softly as he smiled back at her, "So, pancakes or waffles?"

Sam glanced up at him and murmured, "Waffles sound great." Jack saw a playful grin cross her lips, "What's for dessert?"

Jack was seriously taken aback and he gave a small laugh, "As tempting as it may be after what feels likes years, remember what Fraiser said in your last examination. You've got to eat and I noticed you didn't eat much yesterday."

She glared at him, "Geez! You sound like my Dad!"

Jack pulled into a grimace, "Really?"

"Uh huh," Sam said a small smile on her lips.

Jack sighed, "Well, then I guess I'll have to change that," with a playful grin of his own, he lifted her up into his arms. She gave a surprised giggle. He spoke, "You know you're right. You have put on a few pounds!"

"Jack!"

"Right, as I definitely DON'T want to sound like your Dad, looks like dessert first!"

Sam kissed him gently, "Now that's more like it!"

Å

Read on in 'Vulnerability (Part Three)'

Copyright © Sam I Am 2004


	3. Vulnerabiliy Part Three

Vulnerability

By Sam I Am – 

Rating: PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that) also Daniel/Janet, but not in great detail. Major Character death (and don't let that put you off it!)

Category: Character death, Sam/Jack Romance, mild Daniel/Janet, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, probably AU fic as it couldn't happen in the series, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!

Time frame: Sometime during Season 4, after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Summary: While on a mission to find the Spring of Eternity, SG-1 are captured, but little do they know that Apophis has already found a unique way of making his unbeatable enemy, SG-1, vulnerable!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. 'The Scientist' is sung by Coldplay and the lyrics were used without permission (Sorry!) No Copyright intended, it just fits the story... and it's a really cool song! If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: The first Fan Fic I'm going to archive anywhere! WOO HOO! This has probably taken me the longest out of all my works in progress and the very few I have actually finished. Any feedback would be SO useful. As a young author competing against all the older fanfic writers I'm in need of encouragement, support and, if necessary, constructive criticism! And if you think it's good recommend it! I'd love to hear my stories actually being read instead of sat in an Archive somewhere collecting digital dust!

Dedications: To my Best pal/Editor. You know who you are and you have been such an Angel putting up with my incessant babbling about every story line I've created (if only in my warped imagination) and understanding, even when said story lines altered so many times I can't believe you haven't lost track! Thanks Hon. Also to all you S/J fans and all those writers (there are too many to name you all!) whose masterpieces have been a true blessing to this admirer! Finally, (and this may sound slightly weird) to Freddie Mercury. Though I was barely old enough to string a coherent sentence together when you died, your music has always been my inspiration. Thank you for the music, Freddie!

And so here you are... Vulnerability!

Å

**Part Three**

Four years later...

Jack sat in the hospital waiting room. He glanced down at the snoozing three-year-old boy bundled up in his arms. His blonde hair was short and flopped over his head. His little body was curled up with his dirty-grey Teddy Bear, in a tight ball like a hedgehog when it senses danger.

Little did he know, or so Jack hoped. They'd been 'living' in the hospital for over a week and for the past two days the little boy's nightmares had gotten worse. Jack knew why, although he didn't even want to think about the events of that day...

The little boy gave another small kick and his tiny sneaker hit Jack's arm for about the fifth time in five minutes.

Gently, Jack unlaced the sneakers and removed them from his son's feet. He then wrapped his arms back around his little boy. Jack noticed the child was shivering gently in his sleep. Jack immediately removed his jacket and wrapped it around the tiny boy like a blanket. Jack knew he was shaking as well, but he didn't care if he was cold or in shock.

A familiar face came out from the door down the hall. Jack looked up at the woman expectantly. She walked down the corridor and Jack could tell by the way her eyes shimmered more than usual, the way she walked and her tight, sad expression that it was worse.

She came and sat next to him on the chairs and stared down at the toddler. She sighed gently as she murmured, "How's Ryan doing?"

Jack stared down at the child sleeping peacefully, "I don't think he knows what's happening, well, not fully anyway, but he's a smart kid."

Janet just nodded quietly before saying, "Daniel and Cassie are picking Teal'c up and they'll be here as soon as they can."

Jack just nodded slowly before he whispered, "It's bad, isn't it?"

Janet nodded, "Yes."

"What is it?"

Janet sighed, "My guess is after... Tuesday she caught something. It could be anything. We're analysing a blood sample, but by the time we get it..."

Jack held up a hand not wanting to know any more. He fixed Janet with a look that said, 'I don't want to hear that she's going to die. I already know that.' He had known it for months. Since Sam became 5 months pregnant she could barely move. She was OK, still a smiling and laughing ray of sunshine in days of shadow, but she was weak. She still hobbled around the house, using her crutches for the first time in 2 years. She had been weak, but now...

Janet just nodded slightly in answer to his look and then stared down at her hands lying in her lap, as if any conversation they had would all inevitably lead to that one thing that was unspeakable.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Jack absentmindedly rocked Ryan gently. He began to hum that tune softly. Janet watched them tenderly and feeling the same loss they did. Sam had always sung that to the little boy to get him off to sleep:

_Twinkle, Twinkle little star,_

_How I wonder what you are?_

_Up above the world so high,_

_Like a diamond in the sky._

_Twinkle, Twinkle little star,_

_How I wonder what you are?_

Janet could still hear Sam's voice singing that softly inside her memory as she'd gently rocked her little boy. Janet had watched her silently as the woman had smiled at the tiny, almost bald baby. He'd been a reasonable size considering and was, like any baby, rather on the podgy side. Sam had sung so quietly to her beautiful son that it was barely above a whisper, as she had lied in the hospital bed three years ago.

She could still hear Sam's voice as she said with a tearful smile, _"Do you want to hold him? I think now would be the best time, otherwise Jack will come back and hog him all for himself!" _

"_I think you're in for competition, Sam. He loves Ryan more than you!"_

Sam laughed brightly as Janet stepped closer and sat in the chair by Sam's side. The blonde woman gently placed the beautiful baby into her arms. She rocked him gently as she looked up at Sam. The glowing mother leant over slightly and stroked the baby's soft cheek, _"Ryan, this is your Aunty Janet."_

Janet felt tears in her eyes. Sam took the baby from Janet's arm with so much care and delicacy it was hard to believe that the same hands that lifted the young boy were the ones that had held a MP-5 only a year and a few months previously. The love in the woman's eyes was indescribable as she held her tiny child in her arms...

The images were painful and Janet immediately hid them away in a small space concealed in the back of her memory. Somewhere she would delve only when it was the appropriate time to cry.

Another image popped into her head. One that was still so fresh Janet had to use all her willpower not to cry in front of Jack. That image of the tiny little girl lying on the towels was enough to make Janet close her eyes from the surreal pain she felt.

She wasn't screaming and wailing like normal babies. Sam was already out cold and had taken a turn for the worst and her daughter was lying silent and unmoving. Janet glanced up at Jack sat next to Sam, clutching his wife's hand and staring at the baby, his jaw clenched desolately. She could see by the way he stared at his daughter's tiny, perfect face that he knew that his little girl would never draw breath. She could tell by the way he stared at Sam's pale and sickly face that he knew her days on this Earth were numbered...

Through sheer will alone, Janet banished the memory from her mind. She glanced at her watch and almost gasped. Two days ago at this moment she'd called the time of death of the baby girl. Tuesday 5th March 7:09pm.

She glanced at the man beside her. His face was worn and tired. She knew he hadn't slept since Sam had been admitted to hospital a week ago and maybe not properly for many months before that. She'd been having serious pains and had been brought to hospital. Janet had known then that something was about to go horribly wrong.

She saw him stare down at his little boy who clung to that adorable Teddy he took with him everywhere. Janet could see the pain in Jack's eyes as he gave a tiny smile and gently stroked the little boy's flaxen hair as he murmured, "Still twinkling."

Janet's heart clenched. Sam used to say that... used to? She wasn't even gone and Janet was already referring to her as if she had.

"_Still twinkling, my little star?" _

Sam always used to say that. She'd didn't get through a day without saying that to her little boy. Janet knew how much the boy meant to her. He and Jack were her everything...

Janet wished upon every star in the galaxy that Sam would get through this, but she knew that chances were every star had been wasted by spoilt children wishing for a pony or a new computer game.

As a door swung at the other end of corridor, Janet glanced up to see Daniel, Teal'c and Cassie come into the waiting room. When they noticed Jack they all stopped dead before continuing to walk towards him cautiously.

Janet stood up to greet her family. Daniel kissed her tenderly and then whispered in her ear, "How's Sam?"

When Janet glanced back up at him, he saw the sorrow in his eyes and knew not to pursue the matter. He immediately glanced down at Jack and felt the anxiety in his heart blazing like a forest fire. The man sat rocking backwards and forwards slowly, clutching his son to his chest. Automatically, Daniel slid his arm around Cassie's shoulders and pulled her into a small one-arm hug comfortingly. Daniel never wanted to know what it was to lose your child. Jack had lost two now...

They walked over cautiously as Jack just glanced up at them and then back at his young son. Daniel didn't miss the misery in his sad eyes as he stared at the stirring child.

Ryan opened his large brown eyes and yawned as he rubbed his eyes with a balled fist, holding his Teddy under the other arm. After a few seconds tears came to the child's eyes, until they were red and he began to cry. He looked up at Jack and then threw his small arms around his Dad, his bear falling to the floor. Jack clung to his son as the little boy began to sob. Jack just rubbed his back and stroked his hair lovingly as the boy began to cry his little sister's name.

"Meggy..."

Jack just whispered, "I know, Ryan. I know."

Megan O'Neill. The name of his baby girl. Sam had chosen it, as it had been her mother's name. Somehow she'd known the child would be a girl. He remembered how excited she had been when she'd found out she was pregnant again... Janet had been almost adamant that Sam would never be able to have children after the 'fountain of youth' incident.

That memory faded as Jack's mind went back to Megan. He could still see that frail, blood-smeared body lying on the towels. She'd been a month premature and was so tiny that if Jack cupped his hand together she would've fitted in his hands. Janet and the nurses had tried to revive her, but Jack had known the moment Megan appeared that she'd never take her first breath. And it had hurt him so badly. A strange surreal pain that couldn't be put into words and could only be described with images. Images that filled his mind and relentlessly refused him sleep or any time to relax from the anguish of his heart and the worry in his mind.

He'd then looked at Sam and then feeling had become so strong that he had given in to a few tears. She was so pale and sickly looking. She'd been unconscious for quite a while and as Jack had stared at her he'd known. She was dying and there was nothing that could be done to prevent it.

At first, he'd had an argument with one of the Doctors as the man had told him that Sam would be dead by the end of the week. Jack prayed every day that it wouldn't be that day. That she wouldn't die. She couldn't die. Their friends needed her. Ryan needed her. He needed her. He couldn't live without her.

He continued to hold his little boy tightly. When the boy pulled back his face was red from crying and tears continued to drip down his chubby cheeks, he realised he had to live without her. This time there would be no miracle resurrection. When she died she would truly be gone. And how he'd manage he had no idea. In fact, his mind was so grounded on the present, on every agony that ripped his heart from its restraints and smashed it, still beating, against cold rock, that Jack couldn't even imagine the future. He didn't want to.

Ryan's nose was running slightly and before Jack even asked Teal'c gave him a tissue, before scooping the worn Teddy from the floor and handing it to the toddler. Jack took the tissue gratefully and murmured, "Blow." The little boy blew his nose as Jack held the tissue.

When Ryan looked up again he looked at Jack in confusion and then looked at the others equally puzzled. He scanned all their faces and then looked back at Jack.

"Daddy," he murmured, "Where's Mommy?"

Janet closed her eyes at the words as Cassie bit her lip and Daniel just gave a small sigh. Teal'c looked down at the floor almost sadly. Jack's usually strong voice faltered slightly as he murmured, "Mommy's not very well at the moment. She's being made better by the Doctors and Nurses."

Ryan just nodded slightly and then stuck his thumb in his mouth, his bear trapped in the crook of his elbow, and leant his head back on his Dad's chest.

Suddenly a beeping came from beside him. Jack glanced up at Janet who blushed and apologised as she glanced at her beeper. She gave a small gasp and then stood up quickly, "She's awake."

Jack was up in a second. He looked at Daniel and said, "Look after Ryan." Daniel just nodded as Jack passed him to Daniel who sat down with the bewildered little boy on his knee. Cassie sat beside him as Jack, Janet and Teal'c sped off in the direction of Sam's room.

Å

As Sam opened her eyes blearily memories came gushing into her mind as light filled her head. Finally the blur disappeared and Sam glanced around the hospital and felt a sob catch in her throat as she realised.

Megan...

She stared around looking for a cot, but there was none. Panic rose in her throat as the pain returned. Her baby. Her little girl. Where was she? Sam suddenly realised what the pain had been. She realised why Janet's face had been so grave seconds before she lost consciousness. Her little girl was dead...

Sam finally noticed the nurse sat across the room from her. She hurriedly grabbed her beeper and sent a message swiftly, as she stared at Sam in shock. Sam tried to move, but she was so weak she couldn't. She could tell from the heart beat monitor that beeped out her pulse that it was slow. She felt so drained and feeble that it sickened her. Misery consumed her in the silence as she closed her eyes and wished it wasn't true.

Within a minute the door opened and from her totally horizontal position, Sam glanced up at the three people who entered.

Jack immediately ran to her bedside. She tried to say his name, but it came out as a breathless whisper, "Jack, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Jack didn't reply and instead just pulled her into a fierce hug. Sam finally felt hot tears prickling in her eyes, as painful as thorns, as she tried and failed at holding them back. She felt physically drained and so numb that she could already be dead as far as she was concerned. She tried in vain to lift her arms to pull around the man in an equal agony to her, but she was so feeble they barely left the covers before falling back down. The only thing she could feel were those salty and desolate tears that streamed from her eyes as she shuddered from a released whine.

Jack just held her tightly to him as he felt his own pain needing a release, but he refused to cry. He wasn't going to cry in front of the Doc and Teal'c and definitely not Sam. She probably felt like it was all her fault already and didn't need him to burst into tears.

So instead he just whispered to her gently and stroked her back gently as she sobbed out her pain. Between pain-filled cries Jack could hear her murmur again and again, "I'm sorry Jack. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

Jack's voice cracked with unshed tears as he kept replying, "It's not your fault. There's nothing to forgive."

Janet and Teal'c just stood and watched the scene of suffering for a moment before Janet pulled Teal'c out of the room.

They stood outside the door and Janet could still hear Sam's wounded cries. She felt tears of her own rise to her eyes. Why them? Why did that have to happen to them? They were heroes. They'd saved the world a countless number of times. They'd already seen enough pain and death and yet they were still made to suffer. They didn't deserve the misery they were experiencing. No one deserved that.

Teal'c spoke, "Are you in need of a cloth with which to dry the moisture from your eyes?"

Janet just nodded as the Jaffa passed her a tissue. She gave a watery smile and then a shaky sigh, "He doesn't even cry!"

"I believe Colonel O'Neill will not shed tears before his wife to spare her feelings, however in desire of such a release he may be. He is feigning strength for her sake. He is an exceedingly brave man."

Janet just nodded, "He'll probably shed them in private with a bottle of beer, if I know the Colonel." Teal'c just inclined his head in agreement and they waited in silence for Sam to finish weeping.

Å

Almost 45 minutes later when the sobs from within the room had seemed to die down for long enough to be safe in saying they wouldn't return for a while, Janet decided it was safe to enter. She gave a soft knock on the door and heard a quiet voice from inside, "Come in, Doc."

As she walked in she saw Sam, the red marks beneath her eyes were in stark contrast to her almost translucent skin. She was now slightly propped up by her pillows. Janet realised again how weak and vulnerable she looked as she lay beneath the hospital blankets. She was sat in absolute silence except for the odd sniffle.

Jack was sat beside her in a chair and watched as they entered. Janet noticed something was odd about him and didn't realise what until her eyes met his hands. They were completely still. The only time she'd never seen his hands fidgeting was when he was unconscious, but now his hands were immobile.

Sam broke the silence. Her voice was quiet, as if she didn't even have enough energy to speak, "Where's Ryan?"

Jack answered her, "In the Waiting Room with Daniel and Cassie."

Sam looked up at Teal'c and didn't even have to ask. The Jaffa inclined his head and exited the room. Janet perched on the end of the other bed in the room.

Sam again beat her to speaking, "I know, Janet," Janet looked surprised as Sam whispered, "The moment I woke up and couldn't even move, I knew. You don't need to give me a speech about it." Janet frowned looking confused as Sam fixed her with a fearless look, "I'm going to die."

Jack almost fell out of his seat in shock as she said the words. He grabbed her hand and shook his head, as if denying to himself as much as to her. Sam spoke again before he could speak, "Don't deny it and don't worry. I won't say anything in front of Ryan, but I know."

The absolute agony in the Colonel's eyes was more than visible at his wife's blunt words.

Teal'c returned with Ryan in his arms, "I have retrieved your son from the guardianship of Daniel Jackson."

When the little boy saw Sam he cried, "Mommy!"

A smile came to Sam's lips as Teal'c placed the little boy on her lap. He held her as she just kissed his head and let a few tears fall. With all the strength she could muster, she managed to lift one hand and weakly held her little boy.

The toddler sat snuggled close to Sam as she sniffed, "Jack, could you wipe my eyes please?"

Jack grabbed a tissue from the box on the side and gently wiped Sam's pale cheek. She smiled very slightly as he placed a soft kiss on her cheek and stroked a curl of golden hair from her eyes. He tried to return a smile, but it was equally false.

Ryan stared at her with a huge grin on his lips. He then hugged her again, nuzzling his head into her neck, as Sam felt a soft smile of her own pulling at her cheeks.

"Still twinkling, my little star?" She placed her lips into his soft hair and inhaled the smell of her son. Her baby. She spoke in a whisper, "I love you so much. I love you with all my heart."

"Love you, Mommy," the boy mumbled into her chest.

After minutes of just lying there with her little boy, she looked up at her husband. He sat smiling sadly, his eyes glistening slightly as he stared at them.

She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it didn't work. He just stared at her, agony vivid in his eyes. Sam was about to speak when the phone began ringing.

Janet picked it up and said, "Hello. Dr. Jackson speaking... Right... Send them straight here..."

She put the phone down and looked at Sam, "Jacob and Mark are here."

Sam smiled slightly as she whispered, "I'm glad."

Daniel, Cassie, Jacob and Mark rushed into the room a few seconds later. Sam felt her tears begin to water as she murmured, "Jack take Ryan."

Jack scooped his son into his arms as Jacob rushed to her side kissing her softly as he murmured, "I'm here, Baby. Your Dad's here."

"Dad," Sam said through mounting tears as he clung to her for a second before pulling back and allowing Mark to take his place.

Her brother clung to her equally tightly for a moment before pulling back, everyone witnessing the glistening patches around his eyes as he murmured, "How are you?"

Sam stared at him with large tear filled eyes as she whispered, "I'm not good."

He just nodded shell-shocked, "My girls said 'Hi'."

Sam nodded tearfully, "I didn't want them to have to see me like this."

Jacob crouched by her side holding her hand as he fought back his own tears. He kissed her again and hugged her to his chest as he whispered, "My little girl."

Sam felt herself let out a shaky sigh as she murmured, "I'm sorry, Dad."

"Oh honey! You have nothing to be sorry about!"

She pulled back, "I have lots of things to be sorry about."

Her Dad shook his head with a small smile, "No. No you don't."

He hugged her tightly again as she whispered, "I love you Dad."

After a heart-breaking pause the man let out a soft sob, "I love you too, Sweetheart."

He rocked her slightly in his arms for a few seconds before he pulled back, turning to Jack who stood behind him holding his son's hand. Ryan looked worried and confused, but smiled at Jacob and said with his youthful lisp, "Grandpa!"

The man clasped the child's hand and began to talk to the young boy. As he passed Jack, he sniffed and murmured, "I'll keep him preoccupied for a while."

Jack nodded with gratitude, as he managed to murmur, "Thanks Jacob."

The man smiled slightly and murmured, "How many times, Jack? Just call me Dad."

Jack nodded shell-shocked and turned to stare at his wife as she began to say her goodbyes. Jack felt tears welling and let his breath out in a shuddery sigh. It was then he realised Jacob was still stood beside him staring at him. He looked at Jacob in slight confusion as if he was asking why the man's anxious gaze was directed at him.

The nurse sat by the wall spoke, "Would you like me to take him to the Children's area?"

Jacob nodded gently, "Thanks. I'll be there in a minute."

Jack pulled the back of his hand across his tired eyes as he said, "Jacob?"

The man stared at him, his eyes still watery. He sniffed again and opened his arms as he hugged Jack. Jacob patted him on the back gently and murmured, his voice thick and cracking with emotion, "Everything's going to be OK, Jack. I promise."

Jack just nodded as he held the man back, fighting unwanted tears, "I hope so."

Jacob pulled back and wiped his eyes as he said with a small smile, "You heard me. I promised. Carters never break promises."

Jack nodded and glanced back at the woman who was now being hugged by a sobbing Cassie as she herself wept softly. He spoke hoarsely, his voice seeming to disappear from his throat, "Thanks J... Dad."

The man gave him a comforting smile as he murmured, "No problem. Remember if you need anything I'll be there. OK, I won't be able to pick him up from school..." Jack snorted slightly at his father-in-law's humour. Jacob smiled as he left after his Grandson, "And I may not always be around, but remember I will always there for you."

Å

After what felt like hours of people crying as Sam told them how much she loved them, everyone finally left for the night all promising they'd be back to see her tomorrow. Jack had given Jacob and Mark the keys to their house so they could go and sleep there, but both had said they'd rather sleep in the waiting room. Just in case.

Those three simple words sickened Jack awfully. Just in case she wasn't there tomorrow. He shivered visibly at the thought and sighed as he glanced down at Ryan.

He now sat with his son asleep in his arms in the chair beside Sam's bed. She stared at their son with so much care in her ashen features, that it made Jack wish it was him who was about to die rather than her. He wished it every day.

Her beautiful blue eyes began to fill with tears, her lip trembling as she attempted to control the shuddering whine that left her throat as she stared at her son. She gulped down air, but even that couldn't control the equally painful sob that left her throat.

"What's wrong?" Jack murmured anxiously.

"I'm scared, Jack," her voice was a whisper and Jack could see the raw fear in her watering, azure eyes, "I'm so frightened."

Jack reached out a hand and gently stroked her face as he felt his heart being squeezed in a tight fist. He spoke lovingly, "I'm here. Don't be afraid."

"I haven't got long..." she whispered and then stared at him with such intensity Jack felt his heart stopping. He knew what she meant and he hated it.

"Now you listen to me," he said seriously, "No morbid thoughts, OK?"

Sam gave a small laugh and then whispered, "OK."

He stood up slowly and placed his son on the empty bed across the room. He tucked the small boy under the blankets and returned to her side. He perched on the edge of her bed next to the woman propped up by snowy white pillows. Tears graced her pale cheeks as she murmured, "I'm not even going to see his 4th Birthday."

"Oh Sam," he whispered, holding her tightly to him. She was surprised to feel him shaking. Sam felt guilt again which made her tears fall harder. The guy had now lost one son, one daughter and was about to lose his second wife.

Sam realised suddenly that this was the first time since she'd been a small child that she'd been frightened off death. Samantha O'Neill could be trapped on a ship with only an hour of oxygen left and wouldn't be afraid of dying. Samantha O'Neill could step into a trap and have twenty or so staffs aimed at her and wouldn't be afraid of dying. Samantha O'Neill could be fighting in a battle where her side were losing badly and wouldn't be afraid of dying.

But sat in this hospital bed and knowing this was the end of her life, Samantha O'Neill was terrified.

She pulled back and murmured, "Thank you for always being there."

"No problem," he murmured as he leant forward and began to kiss her ardently. She pressed her lips against his as she tasted the salt from her continuous tears. She pulled back after a second as he placed his slightly scratchy cheek against her moist one and hugged her to him. She buried her face in his neck as she continued to cry silently.

They sat there for hours. Sam knew it had been at least longer than an hour because she'd almost fell asleep in his arms. She would've been happy to. She didn't want to move from him. His warm, strong body a shield from everything else that tried to harm her. Nothing else mattered and Sam remembered back to when this had all begun. In that prison cell, sat on her bunk. The first time they had kissed and the first time, she realised now after regaining her memory, that she'd allowed herself to acknowledge how much he meant to her.

She would die for him.

In the grand scheme of things she guessed she was. She was sure Jack had come to that conclusion. There had been countless times she had been awake in bed, unable to sleep due to her own demons, and had overheard his nightmares of that moment when she'd thrown herself in the way of that ribbon device. That was why she'd had the coma. That was why her nervous system had become so weak it wasn't able to sustain her any longer. That was why every second of her life was now counting down.

She pulled back slightly so she stared into his face. His beautiful brown eyes opened slowly, showing he'd been almost as willing just to stay there forever. Once his eyes focussed on her peaked face, they filled with such agony she felt herself take a soft gasp. He knew he couldn't save her and it was destroying him.

He spoke, his voice no longer it's strong self, "Why? If it wasn't for me... you wouldn't be going through this. Why, Sam? Why did you do it?"

Her lips were trembling again as she pressed them against his and whispered, "You know why."

She continued to kiss him tenderly not wanting this to end. Not wanting to die. She could've stayed like that until the end of time, and she would've if she'd had the choice, but she didn't.

He pulled back and she smiled gently through her tears. He leant over and snagged the box of tissues in his hand and began to dry her cheeks. She yawned slightly and he smiled a look of fondness and adoration on his worn and tired face. A feeling Sam had only begun to feel herself when she had first met him. He held her up, close to his body with one hand as he laid the pillows flat with the other. He gently lowered her head back down to the soft cushion as he had done almost every night for five months. Sam felt so safe and loved that she realised that for the past few years she'd been concentrating on everything she'd lost, when really what she'd gained was worth dying for. It always had been.

Jack tucked her in gently as he placed a feathery kiss on her forehead. Memories entered her head at the gesture. When she'd been a little girl her father or mother had always done this saying that the monsters that she used to think lived under her bed were terrified of love and as long as they were around the monsters would be wetting themselves!

He kept his face close to her as he kissed her softly on the cheek and whispered, "You look tired, Hon. Get some sleep."

She nodded as his face lingered near hers for a moment before he sighed quietly and stood up straight again. He walked across the room and picked up their son, who even when sleeping had a grip like iron on Teddy, and carried the sleeping child in his arms back to her bedside. He sat down in the chair and began to absentmindedly stroke the boy's incredibly soft hair with his finger tips.

He looked up at her again and smiled softly, "I said get some sleep. Do I need to make it an order?"

She felt a smile of her own, her eyelids sliding shut as she drifted off to a nightmare free sleep for the first time in months.

Å

Ryan woke in the early hours of the morning. He glanced up at his Dad who was sleeping. He wriggled out of the man's arms and looked up at his Mom's bed. He threw Teddy onto the bed and then attempted to climb it, but couldn't get his small leg high enough.

A soft whisper came from above him and Ryan stared up into his Mom's eyes, "What are you doing, you little monster?"

She grinned at him tiredly as he whispered in a youthful lisp, "Shh. Daddy's 'sleep."

Ryan jumped up and clung to the blankets before slipping off again. He was determined to get up there. He tried again, finally managing to haul himself up onto the hospital bed. He grabbed Teddy and crawled over to his mother. He wriggled beneath the covers next to her, her arm slowly encircling his tiny body with its weak hold. He laid his head on her shoulder and pulled himself as close as he could get to his mother's warm body. She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead as he looked up his mother's beautiful face. She smiled slightly as the boy gave her a small kiss on the lips, before snuggling back into the warmth of the blanket cocoon. He pulled closer to her and felt his eyelids drooping tiredly, a yawn escaping his mouth.

His mother's lips rested on his hair and she began to sing, as quiet as a breeze, her voice soft and comforting. Ryan snuggled closer to her as the whispered words lulled him to sleep.

"Twinkle, Twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are?

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, Twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are...?"

Å

Jack woke up with a start. He'd fallen asleep in the chair in Sam's room, with Ryan in his arms. He glanced at his lap and when he saw his son was missing he looked up in shock. His eyes fell on Ryan asleep in Sam's bed beside her. They were both sound asleep, their golden hair glinting in the daylight that now began to fill the room.

Jack strode to the window and glanced out into the beautiful March dawn. The sun had only just begun to rise over the Colorado rooftops and emanating a glorious pale light. Spring had arrived at last and the trees outside in the Hospital Park were in full blossom. It was going to be a beautiful day...

Suddenly intuition kicked in and Jack almost threw up from the strong, gut-feeling that surged through him. He spun around his eyes falling on the stunning woman lying beneath the blankets. Dread hit his heart as fear took over him, making his body seize with shock. Her chest wasn't moving!

"Sam!" He called her name and realised what was happening. The moment he had dreaded from the first time he had realised he loved her, back in Antarctica, had arrived. His brain finally kicked into action and he began to move of his own accord. He hurriedly rung the alarm, as Janet and two nurses sped into the room followed by everyone else as Jack burbled shocked as he was nearly shoved out of the way, "I woke up. Sh-She's not breathing!"

Ryan stirred and stared around confused as the nurses ripped him from his mother's side. He began to cry frightened, "Mommy? Mommy!" Teal'c lifted him up into his strong arms and held the boy to him gently as he stroked the boy's back and murmured, "It is alright, Ryan O'Neill. You are safe."

Teal'c watched as Janet desperately tried the paddles, but it didn't work. The woman began to cry as she shouted, "Sam! Oh please! Not now! Sam? Sam!"

Teal'c knew then that his dear friend was dead. He clenched his jaw feeling a surreal pain that Teal'c had rarely felt in his whole life. He watched feeling unusually helpless as the Doctor's sobbing became so hard she couldn't control herself any longer. She was shaking violently as Daniel pulled her away and they both fell to the floor crying. He just enclosed his wife in his arms as she continued to cry, with trembling gasps of absolute disbelief. The weeping man beckoned for their daughter to come to him. The young woman also dropped to the floor beside them as they all clung to each other expressing their grief.

Teal'c continued to rub Ryan O'Neill's back and sway slightly trying to rock the small boy. He had noticed that this was what the Tau'ri did when their children were upset like the young male who continued to cry forlornly into his shoulder.

"Shh," Teal'c hushed the boy, as dear to him as his own son, in an attempt to comfort the now motherless child. He looked up from the boy in his arms to Jacob Carter and his descendant. The older man was crying hard and trying to reach for his daughter who was now having her time of death called. Mark Carter just grabbed his father's flailing arms and pulled him into a tight embrace as both the sobbing men held each other tightly.

It was then Teal'c's eyes moved to the lonely figure stood motionless before him. His dearest companion, unlike everyone else in the room, was not crying. Instead he just stood staring at Samantha O'Neill's lifeless body in silence, his eyes unblinking, his body completely stationary as if all the spirit had been drained from him and had left nothing but an inert body.

Teal'c felt not only concern for the man, but extreme fear. Teal'c knew he dreaded almost nothing, but he could not mistake the bitter taste of anxiety that suddenly seemed to remove all moisture from his mouth, making his tongue stick to its ceiling, as if he was dehydrated.

Teal'c cautiously stepped towards the man and spoke, trying to keep his voice from wavering, "O'Neill?"

The man didn't even look at him as he whispered brokenly, shock so thick in his voice, it seemed to be nothing but a hollow echo of the man Teal'c had known for many years.

"I didn't say goodbye."

His words of complete desolation affected Teal'c in such a way that the Jaffa finally allowed his tears to fall, as he clung to O'Neill's son tightly, watching yet another one of his closest friends fall away from him into oblivion.

Å

Jack managed to stumble down the corridors in a stunned trance, his feet just walking, his mind in no way communicating information with them. After hours of crying, Ryan had finally dozed off to a restless sleep. He'd left his sleeping son with Teal'c as Daniel was already swamped down with his weeping family and Mark and Jacob were also... preoccupied.

Jacob and Mark were devastated and that was an understatement. Jacob slightly more than Mark. The last Jack had seen him he'd still been sat there clasping Sam's lifeless hand. He'd then stood up shakily and whispered, 'I have to be alone for a little while.' Mark had begun arguing with the man accusing him of not caring and a fierce, tearful argument had ensued.

Jack had left then, also needing to be alone. Tired of watching everyone shed buckets of tears when he himself was unable to do so.

It hurt like hell. That feeling Jack couldn't identify. All he wanted to do was collapse in the middle of this corridor and weep until he couldn't let another tear drip to the shiny, smooth floor. But it seemed it was the only thing he couldn't do and instead he had to endure the pain, pretend to be strong, when really it felt as if he couldn't breathe. Like a fish out of water. It felt as if every time his lungs inflated the blade of reality that was wedged so deeply into his heart pushed in even harder unleashing an even greater agony.

He really should've been the one still clinging onto Sam's cold fingers as if waiting for her to open her vivacious eyes, laugh and tell them all it had been an elaborate, but early April Fools prank concocted by her and the devious Doctor Janet Jackson.

That was nothing more than a fantasy. There was nothing he wanted more in the entire world. Only sarcophagi could bring back the dead. Janet had ruled out that possibility long ago, for some complicated reason, Jack couldn't possibly grasp, although he had tried with all his might to understand the words that had issued from Janet's mouth. Sam's body had been damaged too much for it to be effective, as with that Tok'ra healing device. That had been Jack's only hope of having Sam back to normal long ago and when the Tok'ra finally managed to get their hands on a sarcophagus she had been the first user. Nothing had happened...

Jack looked around the room he'd just stepped into and knew where he was. One of the nurses walked forward and spoke gently, "Can I have your name?"

He murmured, his voice husky and dry, "Jonathon O'Neill."

The woman spoke again softly, "Who are you here to see?"

"Megan O'Neill. Baby girl."

The nurse nodded sympathetically and murmured, "Follow me."

Jack just followed his thought fixed on his daughter. His mind was reeling with images of death. Every death he'd ever witnessed dancing in his head, tormenting and haunting him.

"Mr. O'Neill?"

The man looked up at the nurse, who had obviously said his name more than once as she was now fixing him with a nauseating look of pity. He looked away from the expression hating it. His eyes fell onto the outline of a tiny baby lying beneath the sheet on the miniature bed.

"Thank you," he murmured.

The middle aged woman tried to smile comfortingly, "I'll leave you alone."

She turned and passed him a chair, which he sat down on as the woman left the small room, silently closing the door behind her.

Hesitantly, he lifted the corners of the green cloth and uncovered the girl's head. She was beautiful. He'd only seen her for what seemed like split seconds and at the time she'd been covered in blood. Now she was clean, but pale and lifeless.

Her tiny face was perfect and the few fair hairs on her head glinted gently in the light. Jack knew he was in love with his daughter in an instant, even though he'd never experience being her father. Teaching her how to walk and talk, reading her bedtime stories, playing with her, tucking her in at night, helping her with her homework, threatening any of the boys that tried to go out with her...

He reached out a finger and gently touched the icy, soft skin. Before he knew what he was saying he found himself clasping his hands in front of him and praying.

"Let her live. Please, let her live."

He knew the words were empty as there was no way this baby girl could be brought back from the dead after so long.

He scrapped a shaking hand over his unshaved, wrinkled and battle scarred face. He could feel his unshed tears mounting in his tired eyes. He rubbed them hard before letting out a broken sigh, "God, what did I do to deserve this?"

"Jack?"

He looked up in shock to see Daniel stood in the doorway hesitantly. Jack pulled the back of his hand over his eyes as the man said extremely apologetically, "I'm sorry if I startled you."

"No," Jack sniffed and hurriedly wiped his eyes again, "No, Daniel. It's alright."

Daniel spoke gently, "I didn't mean to intrude, but Ryan's just woken up and he wants you..."

Jack stood up swiftly and wiped away the moisture that seemed to have accumulated in his eyes again, "Sure. I just need a second." He inhaled deeply and then closed his eyes for a minute before he murmured, "OK. I'm coming."

As Jack was about to follow Daniel from the room there was a flash of bright, white light and before them stood a short grey alien. He stared at Jack with his large black eyes, "O'Neill."

"Thor? What are you... what are you doing here?" Jack managed to ask.

He spoke again in his almost robotic sounding voice, "You asked for help and we heard."

Jack looked at Daniel in confusion and the man looked straight back at him in equal perplexity. Jack looked back at the small man and crouched in front of him, "Thor Buddy, what are you talking about?"

Thor's hand rose and he pointed with a spindly grey finger at the still uncovered face of the baby girl, "You wished that your daughter could live. I have come to help you."

Daniel spoke mystified, "You mean... you can..."

"There is a way," Thor said. He turned back to Jack, "O'Neill, would you allow me to attempt it?"

Jack stood flabbergasted. He couldn't speak couldn't think. His mind that had once been filled with circling images was now empty.

Sam often made jokes about his vacant head, although she mainly told him he was intelligent, but saw things at there simplest. Now his head really did feel vacant as if he was no longer inside his head. As if his thoughts, soul, memories, everything had floated away and all that was left was his unmoving body.

He glanced at the baby as after what felt like empty hours he managed to croak hoarsely, "She could be alive and well?"

Thor nodded slightly, "It is possible."

Daniel spoke again slightly excited, "How?"

Thor turned to the Doctor, "The child is very young and it is extremely easy for the device I have brought with me to revive her..." The Asguard paused fixing Jack with a stare, "I must tell you that the Asguard have our own motivations for reviving you child, O'Neill, and that these motives will definitely come to rise in her future."

"What motives?" Jack whispered still staring at his daughter.

"I cannot say. She is special, O'Neill and the Asguard have a special interest in her well-being," Thor spoke gently, "Though I must ask your consent before attempting the procedure as it is not certain whether it will be a success."

Jack glanced at him as his lips managed to form the words, "Do it."

The alien just nodded slightly as there was another flash of light and a small green stone, covered in Viking runes appeared in his small grey hand.

He pattered over to Megan's side, but was slightly too short to look over the baby. He spoke, "O'Neill, move the chair so I may stand on it."

Jack hurriedly moved the chair into position. The Asguard stepped up onto the seat and stared over the small girl.

He held the device above the child's head. It began to emit a pale green light that slowly got brighter. Thor unclasped his long grey fingers from around the device as it floated above the child.

He spoke, "Now we shall see if she wants to live..."

Daniel asked another question as he stared at the device in wonder, "What?"

"The device will only work when the subject wishes to live."

Daniel spoke again, "It raids the subconscious?"

"Yes. As a young child, O'Neill's daughter will most probably wish to live. If she does it will begin the healing process."

"Why?" Daniel asked curiously, "Why doesn't it just heal her straight away?"

Thor turned to the man, "So there is no way it can be used as a way of torture. Killing someone and then bringing them back to life so the process may begin again."

Jack listened to the conversation although his eyes remained fixed on the baby. It was then that the baby's chest rose and the girl gave a choke.

The devices lights almost completely disappeared as Thor clasped it again in his hand. After a moment the girl began to scream and wail.

Jack couldn't speak and just stared at the girl. He was shivering violently as he whispered, "Megan..." Behind him he heard Daniel swearing in every language her knew.

It was then Janet rushed in, "Daniel! Jacob and Mark are fighting again! I need your hel... Oh my God!"

She noticed Thor and the wailing baby and almost fainted. Daniel caught her as the woman's eyes remained fixed on the small grey alien.

He spoke to the doctor gently, "Would you please examine O'Neill's daughter."

"S-she's alive!" Janet stammered as Thor nodded ever so slightly.

The woman stood up shakily assuring her husband she was alright. She ran over to the baby and felt her cheeks and her pulse although the fact the baby was balling her head off was enough to tell she was alive.

The woman spoke, "How?"

"I shall explain later, but I believe O'Neill wishes to hold his child."

It was only when Thor said those words did Jack realise his baby was alive. She continued to scream and cry loudly, as Janet with shocked tears in her eyes lifted the baby from the bed.

She spoke, "Supreme Commander Thor, I think you should hide or disappear for a moment. I have to call the nurses for blankets..."

Thor interrupted her, "I understand. Goodbye O'Neill."

With that he disappeared in a flash of light. Within a split second Janet was sobbing and calling through the intercom for nurses to come immediately.

When the nurses arrived with blankets and things Jack heard many of the nurses saying, 'It's a miracle' or 'it's impossible'. Jack didn't think he could speak all he could do was watch as they wrapped the tiny baby in blankets.

Janet stepped towards him holding the screaming baby and said with a sad tearful smile, "Jack, this is your beautiful baby girl."

Jack couldn't stop gawping at the baby which continued to scream for all she was worth. Janet spoke softly, "Hold out your arms."

After a moment of slow blinking, Jack did as he was bid and Janet carefully laid the baby into his arms. The comforting weight of the child in his arms seemed to bring him back to the real world. He looked down at the baby. Her wailing seemed to cease as the tiny baby stared up at him, with an expression on her tiny face which made her look puzzled.

He felt a chuckle escape his lips as tears filled his eyes again. He held the baby to him tighter as he whispered, "Hey there." The baby's puzzled look was still definitely evident as Jack murmured, "Now I know what she got from me."

He felt a supporting hand on his shoulder and turned to see Daniel was smiling though his smile was tired, "Congratulations Jack."

Jack still felt the absolute sadness in his heart and turned back to his daughter. The tiny baby whose eyes were now shut again gave a small yawn which made all the women in the room 'ahh' simultaneously.

Janet spoke softly, "She's quite premature, but I think she'll be fine." She stared at Jack as a tear made it past her eyelashes, "I think there are a few people who would like to see her now."

Jack just nodded gently, as the numbing feeling of shock returned. Sam was no longer alive and had missed all chance of seeing their daughter.

He stared back down at the child Thor had called 'special'. What Thor had meant by the words he had no idea, but Jack knew why the amazing tiny baby was special to him. Her tiny chubby fingers were curled around the edge of the blanket as she yawned again, obviously in need of a good long nap.

"Yes," he managed to murmur after a second, realising he hadn't answered the Doctor who was fixing him with her anxious frown until he spoke, "Ryan will want to meet his new little sister."

Daniel spoke again realising his friend was unusually close to tears, "And Jacob and Mark will want to see her, not to mention Cassie and Teal'c."

Jack nodded again in reply, his eyes still fixed on the little person lying in his arms. His... little girl. He held her tightly. His little girl! He stroked the soft blond hairs on her head. She was his little girl and he was never going to let her forget it.

Å

As the sun shone through cracks in the clouds and the gentle breeze shook the tree branches, covered in spring blossom, Jack glanced at the older man beside him as they thanked the people that now left the church. He gave Jack a comforting smile and patted him on the shoulder gently.

Jacob was crying silently as he held his grandson's hand tightly. Jack watched the small boy as he sniffed and tugged on his grandpa's sleeve gently. The man looked at him and then lifted the boy into his arms and hugged him tightly to him, eyes squeezed shut. If anyone could possibly be worst affected than himself it was Jacob. Now all the man had left was Mark and they weren't exactly the best of friends. Actually that wasn't true. Jacob had him and the kids. As far as Jack was concerned, Jacob and Hammond were the fathers he'd never had. His real Dad hadn't spoken to him since he'd left home at sixteen.

Jack lowered his eyes to the tiny baby in his arms, praying to God that he wouldn't be a bad father. The beautiful girl slept soundly in the warmth of the blankets. He looked up again as his eyes fixed on another couple of Sam's friends from the Pentagon who gave him their condolences and farewells.

His eyes lowered to the baby that let out a small whine. He hushed her slightly until she stopped as he noticed in the corner of his eye yet more figures clad in black exiting the church. Megan quietened down again and stared up with her baby blue eyes in that vacant expression babies sometimes have, staring off into space.

He felt a gentle touch on his arm and glanced at Janet who stood at his other side with Cassie and Daniel. Daniel smiled slightly as he said awkwardly, "It was a beautiful service."

"Yeah," Jack managed to reply as Cassie stepped forward and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"If you need a babysitter, I have nothing better to do at home," Cassie said with a smile as she wiped her eyes again. She gave a small laugh, "Only homework and chores..."

Jack smiled, "Thanks Cass."

The young girl he'd once known was now a blossoming young woman, but to Jack it seemed she hadn't changed at all in all those years. Still the same young girl who's been the only one to talk Sam from her depressive pit after the Jolinar incident.

Cassie smiled and murmured, "I'll go put Ryan in the car."

The little boy waddled forward and took her outstretched hand as he waved and murmured, "Bye Grandpa."

"I'll see you soon," Jacob murmured back to little boy.

"Bye Daddy."

Jack's eyes met his son's as he smiled, "Bye Kiddo."

Cassie began to walk down the path towards the car park, Ryan toddling beside her, as Daniel murmured, "I better go too." He smiled at Jack as he stepped forward and passed the dozing baby into Daniel's arms.

The man looked down lovingly at the baby and Jack knew how much all their friends loved the girl. Daniel's eyes rose to his as he murmured, "I'll see you soon. Maybe we could go watch a hockey match sometime."

"That'd be great, Daniel," Jack murmured as the man gave him a final comforting smile and then began to walk down the path after Cassandra.

Jack turned to Janet who still stood by his side. She spoke thickly, as she seemed to have just managed to douse her tears, "Me and Daniel have the cot and everything at ours. You can phone us whenever you want to pick them up. Tomorrow, the day after... whenever. We don't mind."

Jack didn't smile, but murmured, "Thanks Janet."

The woman began to cry again softly and murmured, "Come here."

She pulled him into a hug for a second and then pulled back slightly staring after her husband as she murmured, "She's a beautiful little girl, Colonel. "

He nodded gently, "Yes. Yes she is. And it's not Colonel anymore. I retired, remember?"

"Habit," Janet nodded as she murmured, "Did you hear about Kinsey?"

"I won't get a moment's peace for the rest of my life if he even utters a word," Jack sighed and glanced at his children as Daniel and Cassie seated them in Daniel's car, "The kids would be mobbed every time they went to school."

Janet nodded gently and then murmured, "We'll find a way to stop that from happening, Jack." She turned away and gave him a small wave as she murmured, "Call us when you want to collect the kids."

"Will do," Jack replied as the woman walked away. She climbed into the passenger seat of the car as the engine started and the car drove away, disappearing from view as it turned a corner.

Jack stared after it in silence as his father in law spoke, "Uh... Jack?"

Jack turned to the man as his eyes rose to the woman dressed in black that now stood in the church doorway. She gave him a small smile as she murmured, "I was late. I just slipped in."

Jack nodded understandingly as he murmured, "I'm glad you could make it."

She nodded herself as she murmured, "I'm sorry."

"I've survived this once, Sara. I'll do it again."

His ex-wife stared at him with care in her blue eyes as she nodded sadly and gave him a peck on the cheek as she murmured, "If you need anything, just call, OK?"

"Sure. Bye Sara."

She replied with a comforting smile as she walked away and her position was filled by three more people who'd been talking to Jacob.

"O'Neill, I wish to express my sincere apologies and hope that if you have any difficulties you will contact me immediately."

Jack felt a smile on his face as the Jaffa embraced him in a manly hug, "Thanks, T. You're a good friend."

The man pulled back as his mentor stepped forward, "Colonel O'Neill. Your wife's death is a significant loss and I wish you to know that she will not be forgotten by Jaffa for her contributions in our struggle against Goa'uld oppression."

"She'd be honoured, Bray'tac."

The old Jaffa warrior, dressed in some appalling Tau'ri clothes, nodded as he placed his clenched fist above his heart in Jaffa salute as he said, "Tek Mah Tay."

Jack nodded, "Back at ya, Bray'tac."

The elderly man laughed, "Back at you as well, my old friend."

Teal'c stood with Bray'tac as the last guest stepped forward, "How are coping, Son?"

"Day by Day, Sir. Day by Day."

General Hammond nodded, "I understand, Colonel. When I lost Rachel... I thought life was over," the man smiled, "But I'm still here today and I have no intention on budging."

Jack smiled at the man, "I mean no offence when I say, you always were a goddamn stubborn son-of a bitch, George."

The man laughed again, "So were you if my memory serves me correctly." The man's smile faded as he nodded solemnly, "You have my best, Jack."

With that the last of the mourners left the church, leaving Jack and Jacob stood alone in the spring sunshine. Jack sighed as the gentle breeze blew through his hair. Sam would've loved today. She loved days like these. He remembered the look of complete joy in her eyes when she woke and spring sunshine was pouring through the window. He face would light up with complete contentment and wonder as she looked out at the blue sky, fluffy white clouds floating lazily along.

He smiled, his eyes still shut as he remembered the way she used to go around the house humming, sometimes singing 'Zip-a-dee-doo-dah' to herself, completely unaware of what a wonderful person she was and of how much he loved her...

Jack looked over at Sam's father relieved to see he was no longer crying else Jack was sure he may have broken down again himself. The older man laid a hand on his shoulder and led him down the path as he murmured, "If you want I could stay the night at your place..."

"Don't worry, Jake," Jack replied, "I'll be fine."

The man nodded although it was slightly uncertain, "Alright then. Can you drop me off at the SGC?"

Jack nodded as they stepped towards Sam's car and Jack opened the door, "Of course."

He started the engine, as he looked at the man, "When are you next going to visit?"

"I'm not sure," the man sighed, "You know what the Tok'ra are like. I'll try my hardest to be here for Ryan's birthday though I'm not making any promises."

Jack nodded and began to drive away from the Cemetery feeling as if part of him was still there and he had just left it behind. A part of him he could never replace and that when gone made him feel empty.

He missed her so much. He didn't know how he was going to survive without her and that was a worrying thought. Everyone worried about him. Truth was even he was worried about himself! As much as it felt like the world was ending, he couldn't leave. He couldn't leave his children to be orphans like he wished he could at this very moment.

After half an hour of driving in silence, Jack pulled into the SGC. He moved past all of the security and parked in a parking space as Jacob opened his door. He looked back at Jack as he whispered, "Take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid!"

Jack forced a smile although both of them knew it was fake, "You know me, Jacob. Since when would I do anything stupid?"

Jacob smiled sadly at the comment and murmured, "Just don't, OK?"

Jack nodded as the man closed the passenger door as Jack pulled out. Jacob gave him a small wave before he began to drive home.

Å

As Jack sat in his living room drinking he stared at the photo on his lap. Ryan's third birthday. It had been about two months or so later that Sam had become pregnant with Megan.

They were a whole pack of pictures, but this was the best. Ryan was laughing as he sat in Sam's arms. She looked so beautiful. She always had in his mind, even when she'd been in that bad way, but in this picture she looked more beautiful than he'd ever seen her. Maybe it was because of that big wide smile on her face. A smile that had become a rarity in those dark months before Megan's birth.

Jack took another swig of the strongest alcohol he could find in the house and stood up and put one of Sam's CDs in the stereo.

He collapsed back on the couch as one song began:

_Come up to meet you,_

_Tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are._

_I had to find you,_

_Tell you I need you,_

_Tell you I set you apart._

The words struck home with Jack and he felt his heart aching at the words. He was sorry. Sorry it wasn't him who was six feet under instead of her. His lovely wife. Sam had never known how lovely she was. Even when he'd told her she never believed it. Also, he needed her. Almost more than life itself and if it wasn't for Ryan and Megan, Jack guessed he would of given up his life. Finally, he had set her apart. He'd set her apart from the beginning.

_Tell me your secrets_

_And ask me you questions._

_Oh, let's go back to the start._

_Runnin' in circles, _

_Coming up tails,_

_Heads on the science apart._

What Jack wouldn't give to go back to the start. To go back to that mission. To have said to Daniel it was a whole load of rubbish and there was no magic medicine that could make you live forever. If there was Jack would've done anything to get it for Sam. They wouldn't go on the mission and Sam would probably still be alive. Ok, so they wouldn't be together, but Jack wouldn't care as long as in the morning he still heard her beautiful voice and saw her beautiful smile as she said, 'Morning Colonel.'

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_It's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh, take me back to the start._

No one ever said it would be this hard. When Jack had been a kid no one had said that life would be this hard. And there it was again. What he wouldn't give to go back to the start right about now. He may never have had Ryan, but maybe they'd both still be alive. Maybe if Sam had still been in the war with the Goa'uld it would've been over by now and they would be living together again and getting married.

_I was just guessing_

_At numbers and figures_

_Pulling the puzzles apart._

_Questions of science_

_Science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart._

_And tell me you love me_

_Come back and haunt me_

_Oh, what a rush to the start._

_Runnin' in circles,_

_Chasin' our tails_

_Coming back as we are._

He wished he could still hear her voice telling him she loved him. Now it was just a painful memory that haunted him. His mind was running in circles, trying to find out the exact point between realities. One, where Sam died, and another, where she didn't.

_Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy._

_No one ever said it would be so hard._

_I'm going back to the start._

The song finished and Jack took another long swig of the alcohol. He glanced at the CD case. The track was entitled 'The Scientist'. She was the woman he loved more than anyone and she'd been a scientist, the type of person Jack hated most, except for politicians.

He now felt extremely empty, even though in reality he was anything but empty. He was full to the brim of pain and suffering.

He finished the rest of the bottle and got out the next bottle with the second highest amount of alcohol. He finally began to feel it dulling his emotions and numbing his pain, though now he just felt depressed.

'Alcohol has that affect. It's a depressant, you dumb ass!'

Jack put his head in his hands and slipped off the couch so his back was leant against it. He gave a shaky sigh and looked up. Every thing reminded him of her. Every damn thing! Something she'd said, something she'd done or just some memory connected with her.

His eyes fell on a wine stain on the carpet beside him. It was usually hidden by the couch, but as Jack had fallen to the floor the couch had moved and the dark stain was now visible.

He remembered how it got there so well. Before Ryan had been conceived and they'd been living in his house for a while. Sam had been practising with her crutches and tipped over a glass of red wine. Jack closed his eyes as the vivid memories ran through his head...

'_Oh God! I'm sorry.'_

'_No problem. It's just a stain. It's quite easy to get rid of.'_

'_Really? How?'_

'_Well, you push the couch over it... like so!'_

_Sam laughed merrily and then said, 'I'll have to remember that.'_

Jack shook his head banishing her laugh's echo from his mind. Her laugh caused him incredible pain that swept over him. Her beautiful laugh that was so happy and pure. It was now a laugh he would only hear when watching a video of them together or when thinking about her. So, naturally, the merry laugh was in his head literally all the time.

He sighed gently and he pushed himself up off the floor, pulling the couch back into place. He walked slowly around his house. Janet and Daniel had come round and packed most of Sam's stuff away in boxes which now lay in the attic. Of course there was still tons of her stuff everywhere.

He walked upstairs. He stared into their bedroom. He really had to get rid of that double bed. There just wasn't enough room in the house for it. He'd moved Megan's cot into the room and it now stood near the bed, the mobile revolving slowly, the gold and silver stars spinning around as the occasional note of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' played.

If you could actually feel your heart breaking Jack was positive his had just been put through a shredder. He clasped his head in his hands for a second, waiting for the pain to leave, before he stepped out of the room and stumbled towards Ryan's bedroom. The little boy had been sleeping in with him since Sam's death, so the room was immaculately clean.

It was then he noticed something. He walked over to the boy's miniature bed and sat down picking up the teddy. It's once soft, white fur was now grey, from excessive hugging by his son. He lifted the teddy up in his hands and stared at it. It's black, shiny, button eyes looked sad as he stared at the small cuddly toy.

He had bought it for him when Sam had first returned from the hospital. Ryan never went to sleep without it. He sighed softly. The poor kid would probably be asking for it right about now. Jack would've taken it to him, but he was... drunk actually, and in no condition to drive. Any minute now he'd get an extremely apologetic call from Daniel asking if he could come and get Teddy, with many an 'I'm so sorry Jack and I don't mean to disturb you from your depressive drunken deliberations, but...'.

Jack stroked the soft fur on the teddy bear's sad face with his thumb, as he murmured, "How am I gonna get through this alone?"

"_You're not alone, Jack."_

Jack looked up in shock to see his wife stood before him smiling warmly, shining like a star. Soft white light framed her. She looked so real as she stared at him with those breathtaking eyes and murmured, _"You have my Dad, Ryan, Megan, Janet, Daniel, Cassie, Teal'c and the General. You will never be alone."_

He spoke as a tear managed to fall from his eyes, "Sam?"

She grinned as she said, _"Maybe."_

Jack gave a shaky sigh and pulled a hand over his tired features, "In other words, I've had too much to drink!"

Sam spoke seriously, _"The kids need you, Jack. You're their only parent now, so they need you more than ever."_

Jack shook his head as he said thickly, "I can't do this on my own. Before I know it Ryan will be a juvenile delinquent and Megan will have become the kind of girl that stands on street corners!"

"_That's not true,"_ she whispered gently. She walked towards him and sat down on the bed beside him. She stared at him as she smiled, _"You will be a great Dad."_

"Yeah right," Jack said as more tears clouded his vision, "I can't do this without you. Even when I had Sara look what happened to Charlie."

She spoke softly, _"That wasn't your fault, Honey,"_ Jack went to speak but she held up a ghostly finger as she continued, _"We all make mistakes. And if you continue to grieve and wallow in alcohol over me, there will be more."_ She spoke gently as she smiled again, _"Your children love you, Jack. Ryan adores you and when Megan grows up she'll be no different." _Sam smiled, _"And you know that I will never stop loving you."_

Jack felt hot tears streaming from his eyes for the first time as he finally gave in to the pain, "I love you too. I never told you enough times how much I loved you."

She continued to smile at him as she murmured, _"Once was enough, but you told me everyday anyway. You told me, not only in words, exactly how you felt just by being there for me. I always knew you loved me. There was never any doubt."_

He couldn't control his tears any longer as the agony was so bad he was surprised he wasn't just disintegrating where he sat. He spoke in a whisper, "Why did you have to go?"

"_I didn't go anywhere. I'm still here."_

"You know what I mean," he mumbled into his hands.

She gave a soft sigh, _"It was just my time."_ She paused as she said gently, _"I want you to know I was happy and I still am."_

Jack snorted through his tears, "Well, it's alright for you. I'm the one who's got to cope with life now without the only thing that made me keep it in the first place."

The woman spoke sincerely as he glanced at her, _"Jack, you have to let me go now. You can't spend the rest of your life getting drunk and leaving Janet and Daniel to take care of the kids."_

"I can't let you go," he said wiping the back of his hand over his eyes.

"_I don't mean forget about me completely and go off and marry some other woman. I mean... I'm dead and there's no way to change that. It's the way it is."_

Jack nodded softly as he murmured, "I know. I just..." He choked on his voice as he stared into her eyes, "I just wish."

"_Yeah. Me too,"_ She smiled fondly, _"But I've got to go. I'm needed. It's hard work being an angel."_

Jack chuckled softly as he asked curiously, "What do you do?

"_Help people, guide people, care for people. You know, turn pumpkins into carriages,"_ She smiled, _"Ever wondered who drops the nickels on the street for a little child to see, gasp with delight and pick up?"_

Jack smiled through his tears, "You always did have a soft spot for kids."

"_That's why I married you." _

He looked up at her as she grinned at him playfully in a way that still made Jack's heart flutter. After a second her grin became a small smile again as Jack murmured, "Please don't go."

She spoke equally sadly as she murmured, _"There's no way to stay, Jack, but I'll always be watching over you. You're not alone and you never will be again."_

"Oh Sam," he whispered half between a sob and a whine.

"_I've got to go back now,"_ she said as the dazzling light from around her seemed to get slightly brighter.

He murmured desperately, "You never really answered my question. I need to know. Is it really you?"

She stood up and stepped before him, _"What do you think?"_

"That I've lost it."

She laughed merrily, the same laugh that already echoed in Jack's mind, _"No. You haven't lost it."_

He stared at her, unshed tears creating a blurry film over his eyes, "Do you really have to go?"

She nodded sadly, _"Yes. I'm sorry, Jack."_

He spoke shakily, biting his bottom lip, "I never had a chance to say goodbye."

"_Well, now's your chance,"_ she whispered.

Jack let out a choked sob as he whispered, "I love you, Sam."

She smiled as the white light got brighter, _"I love you too, Jack."_

"Where are you going?" He asked urgently standing up.

"_A place where we'll be together again. One day,"_ she whispered, _"I promise."_

The Ghost stepped closer two him as one of her hands rose and stroked the side of his face gently, making Jack shiver compulsively. She stared at her hand sadly for a moment before she stepped back again.

"Bye Sam," he whispered.

She grinned as the light began to blind him, but he couldn't close his eyes. He refused to. He had to see her. The light became so bright that all Jack could see was her outline as the beautiful voice whispered like a breeze.

"_Bye..."_

Å

Janet went to knock on the door, but found it was already slightly open. She pushed it open and looked around, "Hello? Jack?"

There was no reply. She glanced around the living room and noticed a glass bottle drained of what ever liquor had previously filled it.

It was then she thought she heard something from upstairs. She moved towards the staircase and began to climb as she heard the Colonel's voice. He sounded as though he'd been crying or was still, "Do you really have to go?"

Oh God this was worse than she thought. He was talking to hi...

"_Yes. I'm sorry, Jack."_

If Janet hadn't been grabbing onto the banister she may have fallen down the stairs. She clung on for dear life as the voice registered with her brain.

She continued to climb the stairs as Jack spoke again, "I never had a chance to say goodbye."

Janet reached the landing. A light was emanating from Ryan's room. She edged towards the door as that soft, airy voice whispered again, _"Well, now's your chance."_

Janet glanced through the small gap into the room and gasped although neither of her friends heard her.

Jack's face was streaming with tears as the ghost of Sam stood feet away wreathed in light. He spoke, "I love you Sam."

She smiled, _"I love you too, Jack." _

Janet blinked back tears as the light got slightly brighter. The man spoke, standing hurriedly, his eyes wide with the fear of her leaving, "Where are you going?"

"_A place where we'll be together again. One Day. I promise."_

She watched as the spectre took a step forward and touched the man's cheek. Even Janet could see the man shiver. The woman pulled her hand back and Janet could see the sadness in her blue eyes as she stared at her ghostly palm before taking a step back from him again.

Jack spoke lovingly his bottom lip trembling, "Bye Sam."

The light was becoming brighter and brighter. Janet blinked as her eyes filled with coloured splodges. She looked up as through the light she could see Samantha O'Neill's body fading away slowly, a smile on her angelic face as she whispered, _"Bye..."_

The light suddenly disappeared and Janet rubbed her tear brimmed eyes as she stared at the man stood in the middle of the room, still clutching Ryan's teddy in one hand.

He looked up and saw her. She expected him to go berserk, but instead he murmured, "Here's Teddy..."

He held out the bear as she whispered surprised, "She was here."

Jack frowned as he wiped his eyes, "You saw?"

"She was here..." Janet's voice trailed away as she held shaking fingers to her lips in shock.

Jack closed his eyes as a final tear rolled down his cheek. He sighed as a small smile came to his lips and he brushed the tear away with his fingertips, "Thank you."

"What?"

Jack turned to her still smiling slightly, "I don't ask for a lot and I hardly ever pray, but that day when I stood there watching as you tried to resuscitate her, I prayed that I would be able to say goodbye."

He sniffed and looked at the Teddy in his hands again as he stepped towards her. She held out her hands as he placed the bear into them and murmured, "Tell Ryan I love him."

Janet nodded sadly gulping back the tears as she murmured, "Of course."

She turned to leave when Jack placed a hand on her shoulder, "And Janet?" She turned to him again as he whispered, "I'll pick my kids up in the morning."

Janet felt a smile on her lips as she nodded, "OK, Jack." She gave him a peck on the cheek and placed a hand on his arm for a second as she murmured, "Take care of yourself."

"Sure thing, Doc."

She smiled at him as he smiled back. She gave him a small wave as she left the room and began to wander down the stairs slowly.

She walked out to her car and opened the door. She was about to step in when she felt something. The street lamp flickered for a second and a breeze blew through the trees, making them rustle in the near silence of night.

Janet's smile widened slightly as she stepped into the car and carefully propped Teddy up in the passenger seat. She started the engine and drove along the many streets to her house her mind fixed on what had just happened.

She parked up in her drive and switched the key in the ignition as the gentle hum of the engine dissipated. She pulled it out of the ignition as she lifted the teddy bear from the seat and climbed back out of her car.

She walked to the front door and opened it. She stepped into the warmth as she removed her coat and hung it on the coat peg by the door. She slipped her shoes off and pulled a pair of slippers onto her feet.

She walked into the house and was greeted by a confused looking Daniel. She kissed him gently and then murmured, "What's wrong, Hon?"

"When you left Megan started wailing and I ran to the room to get her when she stopped suddenly. I panicked and sped into the spare room, but she was just lying there staring out of the window."

Janet frowned slightly, "What?"

"That's exactly it. One minute she was screaming her head off, the next silent and peaceful. And what's more I swore I closed the window and shut the curtains earlier, but when I went in, the window was open and the curtains drawn back. I think I'm losing it."

Janet sighed softly as a smile came to her lips, "No. You're not." He looked at her confused as she looked at him with a smile, "Don't worry, Daniel." The man looked even more confused, as Janet gave him a peck on the cheek and walked towards the spare room.

Cassie sat with Megan in her arms. She was also frowning slightly. The baby's eyes were fixed on the window, as she sucked her tiny fingers.

Janet glanced at the small boy lying beneath the covers on his bed as he murmured, "Teddy!"

Janet smiled and walked over to the boy passing him the bear which he pulled tightly into his chest and squeezed. Janet stroked his hair as the little boy snuggled up under the blankets with his worn cuddly toy, sticking his thumb in his mouth.

Janet sighed softly as she whispered, "Keep shining little star and guide the way for those of us that get lost."

"'K," the boy mumbled as he drifted off to sleep. Janet smiled and gently kissed him on the forehead and pulled the blanket over him.

She looked up at the young woman who closed the window and was about to draw the curtains when Janet murmured, "Leave them open."

Cassie turned to her and then glanced at the small baby still staring out of the window, "Mom? Something happened at Jack's, didn't it?"

Janet nodded gently and then smiled as her daughter left the room. Janet walked slowly towards the door and gently flicked the light switch as she murmured, "Bye Sam... at least for now."

FINIS

Yet more Author's Notes: The End... or is it?!? I must say there is a sequel in the planning although no story line is a definite yet. I'm also not promising it will appear any time in the near future as I'm trying my darndest to finish a few more of the stories I started, but as of yet have been unable to finish (they're just building up and up and I swear soon my computer's gonna run out of memory space!) Anyway, I hope you liked 'Vulnerability'. Remember, if you have any comments, good (or bad) please send me them! Thanks!

Copyright (c) 2004 Sam I Am


	4. Finding Strength Part One

Finding Strength

By Sam I Am – 

Rating: PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that) also Daniel/Janet.

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, mild Daniel/Janet, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, probably AU fic as it couldn't happen in the series, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!

Sequel: To 'Vulnerability'! (Yes, I actually finished the sequel!!!)

Time frame: After 'Vulnerability'!

Summary: It's been five years since the end of 'Vulnerability' and things on Earth aren't going well. Just when Jack tries to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and perhaps get on with his life, the plot thickens... yet again!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. 'Candle in the Wind' is sung by Elton John and I altered the lyrics without permission (Sorry!) No Copyright intended, it's one of my favourite songs and it worked perfectly with the story! Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: The sequel has arrived! Oh it took me a while, but its here! I have always loved 'Vulnerability' since I began writing it in yr7. Now I've finally completed the story and I can rest at night in the knowledge that the story that began in the days of my youth is now ready to be read by you guys!

Dedications: Hannah, I should stop praising you! But I can't! It's physically impossible! You are the greatest girly friend I could have and I will NEVER forget you. Love you, Hon. Also to all my friends and to all of you guys who have read my stuff. I'm glad to hear what you think. Thanks again.

The waiting is over... Finding Strength!

Å

Part Four 

_**5 years later**_

Cassandra climbed out of her car slowly, making sure her sunglasses were firmly secure and that her hat shaded her face. She locked the car and glanced around the car park. Just in case.

She walked towards the building cautiously. Some of the mothers greeted her with a small nod or smile as she entered the building. She smiled and nodded back as she walked slowly towards the room where the soft music was coming from.

She stood by the door and watched the little girls all dancing in time with the music, like little pink fairies. They were reflected in the mirrors that surrounded the room making it seem as though there were hundreds of them.

The teacher noticed her and signalled for her to come in. Cassie sidled into the room and sat on a chair in the corner, watching quietly.

She smiled at the tiny girl in a pink leotard with her golden hair pulled into a small bun. She'd always been tiny and had therefore been placed near the front. Memories from years back resurfaced and not for the first time Cassie was glad she was wearing sunglasses. She pulled her fingers along the bottom of her eyes removing the tears that had begun to form.

The teacher spoke to the little girl, as she bent down holding the girl's wrist gently and lifting the tiny arm up, "No, Megan. Remember... up and down."

The small child nodded as she lifted her arm and brought it down again and the kindly ballet teacher smiled her approval.

Cassie felt her heart break as the little girl grinned back, her blue eyes and her grin full of joy. She looked so much like her mother sometimes.

The lesson finished and Cassie stood up as the little girl noticed her. Megan's smile widened as she ran to her, "Cassie!"

Cassie put a smile on her face and lifted the girl into her arms, "Hello Sunshine!" She lowered the girl to the floor as she murmured, "Have fun today?"

The little girl nodded eagerly as Cassie took her small hand and led her to the cloakroom, as the child recounted her whole lesson. Cassie gently removed the five-year-olds ballet shoes and helped her to pull her jeans and t-shirt over the top of her tights and leotard. She began to tie Megan's sneaker laces as the girl murmured, "Where's Daddy? He said he was gonna pick me up today."

Cassie looked up wondering if the young girl would understand. Megan had moved up a class at school and was doing work with children a year older than she was. The teacher had even discussed moving her up again, but Jack had refused. She was a bright child and had a way of seeing things. She'd understand...

"Cassie?"

Cassandra realised she'd been staring at the girl. She stared down at the tiny feet as she continued to lace up the little pink sneakers, "You know those bad people that are always trying to take photos of you?"

Megan nodded slowly as Cassie stood up and took the girl's hand, engulfing the tiny fingers in her bigger ones. She sighed trying to find a way to explain it to the young girl, "Well, they're trying to take even more pictures because they now know who you are. Before, we managed to keep you a secret, but someone who we foolishly trusted told them what your pretend name was."

"Somebody tattle-tailed? Was it Kinsey?"

Cassie half smiled half grimaced at the child as they walked out of the cloakroom and towards the car park, "Yes. Now your Dad is trying really hard to make the bad people go away."

Megan nodded and said quietly, admitting something bad she'd done, "One of them phoned Daddy yesterday. Me and Ryan listened on the phone upstairs," the little girl was wearing a troubled expression as she murmured, "I didn't understand it, but Ryan did. He said that the bad people are trying to make Mommy into a movie."

Cassie frowned in shock, "What?" Suddenly a feeling in her stomach made her look up down the corridor. Outside the doors, about a dozen Reporters and their camera crews were waiting in the car park.

"Damn you, Kinsey," Cassie muttered as she grabbed Megan and lifted her into her arms hurrying into the toilets. It was all that snotty bureaucrat's fault for telling the press in the first place. It had only been a few months after... Sam's death that he decided to reveal the whole SGC program. That was understandable, but telling them about Megan and Ryan? That was downright spiteful and Cassie hated the man because of it!

She sat the girl on the side as she removed her shades and hat. She hurriedly put them on the little girl who frowned at her, "Cassie?"

Cassandra pulled off her hooded sweater also pulling that onto the girl as she spoke fiercely, "They are not going to get any decent pictures of you. Even if they know your name, I'm not going to let them know what you look like!"

The girl spoke worriedly, "What about you?"

Cassie sighed and smiled gently, at the tiny child, quite literally hidden by her adult sized sweater, "Well, they're gonna work out who I am at some point."

The little girl began to cry frightened, tiny tears cascading from her beautiful azure eyes, "Will they hurt you?"

Cassie let out a small gasp and hugged the girl tightly, "Oh no. They won't hurt me, Megan." She pulled back and grabbed a tissue from one of the toilets, gently wiping away the little girl's tears.

She then stared into the wide blue eyes and murmured hurriedly, "We're gonna have to make a run for it, just like at the supermarket on Monday."

"You're gonna put me in a trolley?"

Cassie laughed at the little girl as she murmured, "No. I'm going to carry you. I want you to hold on really tightly and hide your face in my shoulder as much as you can, OK?"

The child nodded sincerely as Cassie lifted the girl into her arms. The child wrapped her legs around her waist and Cassie was reminded of carrying her little brother. Megan held on tightly burying her face into Cassie's shoulder and pulling the hood of the jacket down over her glistening blue eyes.

Cassie took a deep breath suddenly realising that once the Reporters knew who she was her life would become a living hell. She couldn't even comprehend what it would be like. Especially if it was anywhere near as bad as what happened to Jack and, to a lesser extent until now, the kids.

She stepped back into the corridor and was faced by most of the mothers. She stared at them wondering what to do next as they both stood staring at each other until one of them spoke.

"Is it true? What the Reporters are saying? That... she's the daughter of Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter?"

Megan glanced up at the people fearfully and then up at Cassie. The young woman nodded gently, "Please. Help us. We can't get out of here on our own."

The women all looked at each other for conformation before another mom who was holding her little girl murmured, "We'll get you out." She glanced at her own daughter as she murmured, "Can't imagine how hard it must be for you."

Cassie smiled gratefully, "Thank you so much."

The woman gave her a comforting smile, as she murmured, "Stand here and we'll surround you."

Cassie felt a pride in the human race that she hadn't felt for a while. These moms realised how horrifying it must be for them. Especially now the papers had discovered the hidden children belonging to two of the greatest heroes history would ever know. For the first time since Teal'c chose exile and moved back to Chulak, Cassie found herself wishing she'd done the same.

She hadn't seen Rya'c for what felt like years when really it had only been weeks. He'd asked, almost begged her to come live with him on Chulak. Now she was beginning to wish she had. Earth had become no more than a living nightmare.

The swarm of women moved into the car park as Cassie clung to the small child. Flashes came from every direction as did the many obnoxious voices of Reporters, as they spoke in chorus, "We want to speak to Miss O'Neill!"

There were many rude comments aimed at the Reporters from the women around her as they surrounded her car. Cassie managed to open the driver's door and climbed in hurriedly, the door slamming after her. She immediately locked all the doors and then collapsed in the driver's seat.

Megan detached herself and scrambled into the passenger seat, fastening her seat belt and pulling her blanket over her.

Cassie started the engine hastily as Reporters that were behind the car refused to budge. There was no way she could drive through them. They were trapped.

Cassie glanced at the girl curled up beneath her blanket, shivering slightly. Daniel had told Megan once that if she covered herself in the blanket she could become invisible. Cassie wished it was that easy.

The flashes of cameras finally made it to the car windows as the Reporters banged on the windows saying, "Who are you?" "Why are you with Miss O'Neill?" "How do you know the Colonel?" "Are you related to Miss O'Neill?" "Is it true your Colonel O'Neill's lover?" "What is Colonel O'Neill really like?" "Is this your stepdaughter-to-be?"

Cassie just sighed and ignored them, no longer able to take this. She didn't have the will power to hide any more. She glanced back down at the shaking blanket as she spoke softly, ignoring the din outside, "Megan, honey?"

The little girl whispered, "I want my Mommy."

Cassie felt her eyes filling with tears as the flashes of cameras became even more ferocious, trying to capture every second of her agony. She suddenly felt a wave of rage well within her. She unwound the window a crack, so the Reporters could hear her but couldn't touch her.

A silence suddenly came over the mob as Cassie's angry tears were caught by many cameras, "Who the hell do you think you are! She's five years old and you've already made her life a living hell, not to mention Jack's and Ryan's. You've made Daniel's life a misery, you've made Janet's life a nightmare and you drove Teal'c back to Chulak!" Cassie felt herself yelling as the Reporters all stared at her flabbergasted, "And now you want to mutate the memory of a fantastic woman into some Hollywood blockbuster! You are sick! You all are! I thought you couldn't stoop any lower, but no! You mob a little girl, who a few moments ago was happy and telling me all about how she was doing in her ballet classes!"

They all stared at her as she revved the engine; some even were decent enough to look ashamed. Cassie spoke furiously, "Now let me go and if you ever EVER publish a single picture of this I'm going to personally make sure that Jack sues your arses for everything you're worth!"

The crowd moved away from the car as Cassie reversed out of the space and sped out of the car park, full throttle still fuming with rage. She slowed down slightly and began to drive back at a safe speed as she murmured, "It's OK, Megan. You can come out. We're going home."

The girl peaked out of her blanket cocoon as she murmured sadly, "Which one?"

Å

Jack sat in the quiet room and rubbed his temples gently, as he let out a small sigh. This was not good. He looked up and his eyes met with the smartly dressed woman sat across the room from him. She spoke gently, "I'm sure we'll find a way to stop this."

Jack shook his head as he looked away from the woman who had done so much for him over the years they'd known each other. He owed her. More than he could ever repay. And yet he still spoke the truth, even though he knew she really didn't want to hear it, "They'll be planning a sequel in two years."

It was Janet's turn to sigh sadly. He watched as she pulled her clever fingers over her tired, sad eyes, "This is wrong."

"What isn't these days?"

Again Jack spoke words of truth. Janet observed the man who'd gained the nasty habit of never meeting anyone's gaze anymore. Well never fully. He may look into your eyes, but Jack O'Neill never met your gaze, not since Sam had died.

The man had lost so much. Sam's death had been the finally straw. Jack O'Neill's usual larger than life personality had diminished and had been replaced with a hollow shell. Jack never let on. In fact, Janet guessed, only the Colonel's best friends could see it. Everyone else must still see the funny, sarcastic, witty, stubborn Colonel. The man used the mask to hide the blankness. To hide the fact that his vitality was all gone.

There were four certain people in this world that Jack was making sure would never know the darkness within him. In front of them, he'd kept the mask firmly secured, never letting it slip and painting over it with vibrant colours to mask his emptiness even more.

Two of the four were Ryan and Megan. Janet knew that the Colonel loved his children more than life itself and she knew he was always his old self around his kids, his only livelihood. Janet hoped they hadn't noticed what had become of their father. Ryan was too young to remember his father when he'd been truly happy and Megan hadn't been born so Janet assumed neither could see anything out of the ordinary as 'Jack and the Iron Mask' was not a horror story to them. It was their life.

The other two were her children. Cassie knew and had, in fact, discussed it in a tearful conversation with both her and Daniel before. Cassie took Jack's barrenness the worst out of everyone. She had guessed it was something to do with Cassie's alien abilities. Cassie had told her that the minute she had looked into the Colonel's eyes after the funeral she had known she had lost more than one friend.

Jack's performance was even more forced before Cassie now. He obviously sensed something, sensed that Cassie knew. Janet had pretended not to notice that he avoided meeting the young woman's eyes and if he did, he flinched.

As for Jonathon, named after his godfather, he was still a baby, well at least to Janet! Janet felt slight happiness at her memories. Jonathon forced the best out of Jack O'Neill. After all, he'd obviously inherited Daniel's stubbornness when it came to getting Jack to see his point of view and her determination to get Jack to do what she told him!

When situations were tense you could always count on Little Jonathon to come in and practically order his godfather to come and play with him. Jack would always grin at the boy and her son would take his hand and lead him from the room, missing the expressionless look on Jack's face when his back was turned.

Since that mission when SG-1 had all been dipped in the Fountain of Youth, Janet had become much closer to Jack than she had been before. Janet now considered the man her best friend, well after Sam anyway...

Janet nodded as she gave a small sniffle, shaking memories from her mind. She felt her anger rising as their current situation came straight back into her head in the wake of her thoughts. Suddenly she wished she had a million needles to stab into one 'certain' group of people, "I'm going to kill Kinsey for telling the Reporters about Ryan and Megan. If I ever see him again..."

The statement was left hanging as the woman let out a frustrated growl from her throat. Jack's face stayed impassive, as usual, though she could tell by the way his hands were clenched into white-knuckled fists that he was furious. Jack stood up and walked over beside her and lowered himself into the chair next to her, "The glass is half full," he muttered, the only optimism she thought she'd heard leave the Colonel's lips in all earnest in a long time. He spoke with emotion, "I'm just glad they don't know about Cassie and Jonathon yet."

"Yeah," the small doctor murmured equally glad. She really didn't want the Reporters to find about the offspring of a certain Archaeologist and CMO of a certain infamous covert operation under a certain mountain. She grumbled angrily, "God, the media can be such heartless bastards!"

He sighed softly and sadly murmured, "Daniel told me that... uh... Cassie is moving to Chulak."

Janet smiled slightly, her maternal feelings pricking the backs of her eyes, "Yeah. My little girl's going to get married to Teal'c's little boy."

Jack smiled, making Janet almost jump in shock, "It was meant to be!"

Janet gave a soft chuckle, appreciating the Colonel's comment as she had seen part of him in there somewhere for a split second before it was sucked back into the lifeless void. She spoke, "Since they met, just before... Sam died... they've been head over heels with each other."

Jack nodded although his mind still lingered on the name he rarely spoke anymore. It seemed his vocal chords just couldn't produce the right sound, as if they refused to say that name.

Janet placed a hand on his back as she murmured, "Me and Daniel were thinking of going to Chulak too."

"He told me," Jack replied sadly, eyes still firmly averted, "I honestly don't blame you."

"Earth is no longer the place for us. I mean Jonathon is four years old and should start kindergarten soon, but if anyone finds out... who he is..." Janet's voice trailed away.

Jack looked up from the floor at the woman who had become irreplaceable to him over the past years. She was always there to help him. Being a single father was the hardest thing Jack had ever had to go through. Janet, of course, had stepped straight in, even though she had enough worries with her own growing family, and had assumed an Aunt-like role. Helping him, comforting him, reassuring him, and supporting him whenever he needed guidance. Always there for him. Completely irreplaceable.

Silvery tears fell from her kind brown eyes as she held a hand to her forehead, her elbow resting on her knee. She let out a sob, "Why? Why is this happening? What did we do?"

Jack spoke anxiously, watching her sat beside him in her best suit and crying, "Janet?"

Jack felt fear. Janet was his strong rock, and if the truth was to be known he hadn't seen her cry since Sam's funeral. Now, she was sobbing and Jack realised that everything that had happened to them had finally caught up with her. Janet, the woman he'd grown to love like a sister, had broken. She never looked up at him as she usual would have done, but continued to sob into her hands in absolute misery. He tried to speak comfortingly, tried to comfort the sobbing doctor, "Everything's going to be OK. We'll make it through. We always do."

She shook her head as tears continued to fall in great rivers from her sad eyes. She looked up at him and Jack knew it was time for a role change. He needed to be a rock. Sat in the waiting room of a court was not exactly the best place for Jack to be feeling the coursing emotions that struck in as he looked at Janet, surprised she wasn't drowning in a salty lake of her depressed tears. He needed to be strong and it became increasingly difficult as Janet spoke her voice a tearful sob, "Oh Jack! What are we going to do?"

Jack felt the same kind of uncertainty about everything. The only thing he'd been certain about in a long time was this... and it wasn't going well. He'd been in this court room every day for what felt like years. His lawyer tried his hardest to get the point across that Jack's life was in shambles because of the goddamn media. Now the fact that Jack had kids was public knowledge, they had a slight advantage although Jack didn't know if it would be good enough...

He looked at the woman beside him crying her compassionate heart out and pulled her into a hug as he murmured slightly shocked, "I don't know, Janet..." He rubbed her back gently as she shuddered with heart broken sobs. It was time to say something strong. Something he would've said, back when he was strong. Not this pathetic weakling he was now.

Jack decided then, he was going to change. He was going to sort himself. Not for himself, but for everyone who'd had to put up with his 'Selfish Clam' act for all these years.

And so, Jack O'Neill spoke words he would never usual say. Words that caused him to think of the beautiful Major he'd fallen for all those years ago...

"...But we can beat this. We can and we will. I know we will."

Å

Cassie checked on the sleeping form of her little brother in his bed. She smiled fondly and removed his glasses placing them on the side before kissing his forehead and pulling a lock of his dark blonde fringe from his eyes. Cassie had never had a real brother or sister when she'd been living with her real mother, before Niriti... When Janet had announced she was pregnant, Cassie had been beyond overjoyed. Now, she finally had a little brother, Jonathon, and she loved him more than anything. She tucked him in tenderly before she moved to her bedroom and then crawled beneath her own covers, lying on her back and staring into the shadowy space between her and the ceiling.

A lot of things were playing on her mind and it didn't help that at night was when her 'psychic' abilities were at their strongest.

Mom only returned home minutes ago. Jack had dropped her home. It was obvious her mother had been crying, crying badly. Her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, her skin pale and her whole body was shaking like a leaf. That alone made Cassie realise that the appeal to stop that ghastly film from being made had obviously not gone in their favour.

The thing that had really shocked Cassie was Jack. When she'd looked at him, he'd met her gaze. And then he murmured, '_Hey Cassie. It's been a while._'

In fact, he'd only seen her that morning, but the look in her eyes made her gasp with happiness as tears rose in her eyes and she flung her arms around the man's neck as she had when she was a little girl. It had been a long time, but Jack O'Neill was back. Cassie was almost positive of it.

He swung her around slightly as he mumbled shell-shocked, '_Cassie_, _I'm me. I'm me. I'm me again._'

Cassie had pulled back and had seen a smile. He'd pulled a tissue from his pocket and she continued to cry happily. Daniel had re-entered after settling his wife in the living room and was watching them confused.

He looked at them as Jack smiled and murmured, '_I'm back!_'

The man's jaw had dropped and he let out a shocked laugh as he pulled Jack into a manly hug. He'd pulled back still gawping like a fish, '_What? Why? How?_'

'_Whoa. Too many questions!_'' Jack had said in his... voice. The voice Cassie had missed more than she'd ever realised. He spoke seriously, '_I realised that for the past 5 years I've **used** everyone as support... and no, Danny. 'Used' is not too strong a word. It's precisely what I've been doing,_' Jack said stopping her Dad from protesting, '_Anyway, I realised when Janet started crying that I couldn't burden... yes, Danny, **burden**... you guys with all my problems any more. So, I'm back and I'll be damned if I lose control ever again._'

Her adopted father placed a hand on Jack's arm supportively, '_Friends are supposed to help each other with their problems. You even **think** of handling this alone and I will be the one to bang your head against the wall!_'

Jack had smiled again and Cassie quite possibly felt herself melt before the smile. Not in the lovey dovey way teenage girls melted when they saw male pop icons! She DEFINITELY did not have a crush on Jack O'Neill! He was old enough to be her dad! But when he smiled, it felt as if a tremendous weight that she hadn't even been aware she'd been carrying was suddenly lifted.

He spoke gently, '_Where are my kids?_'

Cassie had lead Jack upstairs to Megan and Ryan's room.

That was where another troubling thought played on Cassie's mind as she lay in her bed staring into the darkness. The image of Megan peeking out from beneath her 'magic' blanket as the small girl had murmured sadly '_Which one?_'

The thing was Ryan and Megan had many homes. Jack had managed to hide them for 5 years which was nothing short of a miracle. Jack had never moved house, although it was now much more fortified for his own protection. Truth was, Megan and Ryan had permanent rooms at Jack's house, the SGC, General Hammond's house, Teal'c's house (Teal'c had been giving Sam's bungalow after she'd moved in with Jack) and Jack's ex-wife Sara's house (she had insisted that she gave the children a place to hide, even though Jack had told her they had enough hiding places).

To top it all off, the spare room of their house had also been converted into a permanent bedroom for the children 5 years ago and remained well used.

Megan and Ryan had over 30 different 'homes', many belonging to SGC personnel, who had realised the Colonel's dilemma, as many were facing similar, although not as serious, problems, and had all supplied their houses as places for the two children to stay. Everyone from Hammond's Secretary to the Commissary staff to Sgt. Siler, had provided somewhere for the two children to hide out when the Reporters were on their tails.

Up until now the Reporters hadn't known they were the children of quite possibly the most famous husband and wife ever. Almost everyone had known that there were two children, a girl and a boy, but no names had ever been heard and the children had not needed to have many aliases just one each, just in case. They'd gone to school and after schools clubs like normal children, although they had abnormal sleeping arrangements.

Cassie sighed as she remembered the look of love in the man's eyes as he'd gently shaken his eight-year-old son from sleep. The boy had stood up rubbing his eyes, practically sleep walking as he'd grumbled, '_Have the Reporters found us?_'

'_No,_' as Jack had spoken the boy's eyes had shot open and a thrilled grin had appeared on his face. He'd literally thrown himself into his father's arms as Jack had murmured with a true smile, '_I'm taking you home._'

The boy pulled back, a look of utter joy and wonder on his face, and his father nodded to their bags and stuff as he murmured, '_Grab the bags._'

Jack had then moved to the tiny five-year-old girl lying in Ryan's bed. She'd obviously crawled into bed with her brother. The strange thing about the children was they seldom argued! They obviously knew that their life required them to stick together completely and so they had. Megan adored her older brother. She followed him everywhere and was always quiet and subdued when he went somewhere without her. The funny thing was he rarely did. He always let her come and unlike most boys his age insisted she was part of whatever he and his friends were doing.

Jack, obviously deciding not to wake the young girl, looped his arms around her small frame, hoisting her from the bed and into his arms. Her small legs clung around his body, her arms curling around his neck naturally and Jack smiled softly as he kissed her head gently.

The little girl had snuggled closer and mumbled into his shoulder, '_Daddy..._'

Cassie helped Ryan carry his and Megan's bags downstairs putting them into Jack's truck as Ryan climbed into the backseat. Jack detached Megan from her position clinging to him. She frowned slightly and let out a small whimper. She was still fast asleep. Jack had released a sad sigh and murmured, '_No, Daddy's not leaving anymore. I promise._' He placed the girl beside her brother who cuddled her close as Jack pulled a quilt over them and then closed the door and jumped into the front.

He'd smiled at Cassie as she stood beside his truck. He looked at her with utter gratefulness as he murmured, '_Thank you. For everything. Thank Daniel and Janet for me as well, would you, Cass?_'

The young woman had nodded and murmured, '_Sure Jack._'

He looked concerned as he murmured, '_If your Mom needs help... I'm only a phone call away._' He cleared his throat, _'And tell her I love her a lot. She's been... I don't know what I would've done without her.'_

Cassie had nodded seriously, '_I'll tell her._'

Jack had given her a look she couldn't quite understand as he closed the door giving her his trade mark casual salute as he started the truck and drove off.

The final thing plaguing her mind was this new piece of information she'd acquired from Megan this morning. They wanted to make a movie about Sam's life. She wondered how long Jack had known about this, how long ago it was since Hollywood had made the proposition. There was no doubt in her mind that Jack would fight it from being made with everything he had.

She also wondered why her mom had been crying earlier. Jack had assured her, without words that it wasn't that the case was going badly. The only reason Cassie could think of was that her mother had had a sort of breakdown. Life was being extremely harsh on them, but now, Cassie hoped, things were going to start getting better. Jack was slowly recovering, the children would no longer need to stay in different homes and they were going to win the case.

Cassie sighed softly as she finally closed her eyes and felt a tranquillity come over her, her tiredness finally catching up with her.

Everything was going to be OK now.

At least she hoped it would...

Å

Rolling around in bed for over three hours wasn't tiring. Jack had hoped that if he did it long enough he might be tired enough to fall asleep, but he'd had no such luck, as usual.

He glanced at the bedside clock, its red numbers the only light in the room.

1:06am.

"Great!" Jack grumbled to himself with a frustrated sigh. Sleep just wasn't going to come tonight. It only came when he was too exhausted to keep his eyelids open anymore and that happened every few days.

He climbed out of the small single bed and padded over to his dresser, silently removing a pair of sweatpants from the top drawer. He pulled them on over his boxers and grabbed a t-shirt to pull over that. It slipped over him with complete ease and Jack realised his eating habits, i.e. barely anything all day, were not doing his body any good. Something he'd have to change if he wanted to get back to normal... Well, back to how he'd been before... before everything...

No. Jack could never be like that again. He could try and maybe he might just get back to the stage when he'd finally stopped mourning Charlie. But at that point of time he'd had her to numb some of the pain and to let him dream of a future, a future that he'd been blessed to have, however brief some of it had been.

He wandered out of his bedroom moving slowly to the kids' room and glancing inside. Megan lay in her bed fast asleep, her long blonde hair ruffled and messy, snoring softly, her pale face looking innocent and beautiful in slumber. Jack's eyes moved to the bed at the other side of the room. Ryan, as usual, was hanging in a kamikaze position, his duvet in a crumpled heap at the end of his bed where he'd kicked it.

Jack tiptoed inside gently lifting his son back onto the mattress properly and pulling the duvet over him. He smiled softly at the fair haired boy, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. He watched his little boy sleep for a moment before crossing the room to the other bed. He knelt down and kissed his little girl's forehead too, noticing Teddy lying on the floor, her arm stretching out towards him. Jack tenderly lifted the old greying Teddy from the floor and placed him in his tiny daughter's arms as they wrapped around the teddy bear instinctively. Jack sighed and stood again, before making his way out of the room.

He slowly crept downstairs to do something constructive with his time. He wandered into the kitchen and pulled out a box of Froot Loops and a bowl. He poured the sugary cereal into the bowl as the small hoops chinked softly against the porcelain. Jack opened the fridge, its golden light spreading across the kitchen floor, and pulled out the milk carton, opening the cap and splashing the white liquid over the Froot Loops. He replaced the lid and put the carton back in the refrigerator, before opening the cutlery drawer and digging out a spoon.

Jack decided the only way to get back to a healthy physique was to try and eat. He dunked the spoon into the cereal and scooped out a multi-coloured spoonful with a sigh. He really wasn't hungry. Even Froot Loops no longer held appeal to him...

Nothing did these days. Food, drink, TV, his Playstation... God, even the Simpsons. And going to the cabin. And watching Hockey... Nothing. It was as if Jack O'Neill was gone. He didn't even miss the SGC anymore. What had happened to him?

"Loss, O'Neill," he muttered to himself as he closed his eyes, "Loss, after loss, after loss... That's what happened to you."

Every one of the things that had made him 'him' now reminded him of... her. That was why they had no appeal to him. That was why he was nothing but a shadow of Jack O'Neill.

He turned on the radio, which was playing some slow soft tunes for those awake at 1am! Jack slumped into one of the kitchen chairs, his cheek resting on the palm of his left hand, elbow on the table, and continued to play with the cereal never eating a mouthful, just dunking in the spoon and tilting it to the side until the slightly-soggy hoops plopped back into the bowl.

He sighed sadly, pushing the bowl away from him as his eyes glanced around the kitchen. No one would've guessed it was the kitchen of Colonel Jack O'Neill aside from the picture of him and the gang held to the fridge door by a purple dog magnet Ryan had made in 1st grade. She wasn't in that picture. She wasn't in any of the pictures, Jack kept in sight...

The kitchen was clean and strangely organised. Everything had a place and Jack had only just resisted the urge to stick labels on every drawer and cupboard. He'd wanted to in one of those sleepless nights. He always had loads of chores to do and if he didn't he ended up alphabetising something or other. He'd already alphabetised both the large and small bookcases in the Living room and he'd ordered all the CDs, Playstation Games and videos, not to mention ordered his entire 'Simpsons' video collection in episode order.

Jack got up taking his bowl of utterly soggy cereal with him, somehow forcing himself to eat a spoonful before deciding he really wasn't hungry, and leaving it on the kitchen side.

On the radio, the man's voice caught his attention, "... third version of the song written by Elton John for Marilyn Monroe..." Jack's body seized. He couldn't listen to this. He went to turn the radio off, but he stopped dead half-way across the kitchen as the tune and words began to flow across the room...

_Goodbye Golden Girl,_

_Risking your life to give us hope_

_When there was only evil_

_And alone you had to cope._

_You lived a secret life_

_Unable to share your brave heart_

_Tell the world what you'd done for them_

_From ending back to start._

_And it seems to me that you lived your life_

_Like a Candle in the Wind._

_Your flame was fading _

_Though you struggled to stay lit._

_Now we all wish you'd lived _

_To see your daughter crawl_

_But your candle burned out long before_

_You were a legend at all._

A feeling Jack hadn't felt in a long time seized him. Pity. He pitied himself. Jack grimaced at the emotion. Even when things were absolutely terrible he never felt self-pity, but things must be pretty bad for him to feel it. Things were almost unbearable without... without her...

Jack thumped his fist on the cold, kitchen surface, feeling like he wanted to thump it and thump it until he had no more energy left. What a Bastard! He couldn't even call her by her name. Since when had he been stepped into self-pity so deep that he was drowning and there was no way out? He couldn't even say her name...

_You sacrificed it all_

_For those who loved you most_

_For the man who saw you_

_When to the world you were a ghost._

_And even though we try_

_To show you our requited love_

_Our words seem empty_

_And they never seem enough._

_And it seems to me that you lived your life_

_Like a Candle in the Wind._

_Your flame was fading _

_Though you struggled to stay lit._

_We all know we owe you_

_For a debt we can't repay_

_But we try to show we care for you_

_Every single day._

_Goodbye Golden Girl_

_Mother, Sister, Child and Wife_

_You were some people's everything_

_Through times of trial and strife._

_Goodbye Golden Girl_

_Both intelligent and kind_

_Now your sweet smile's gone_

_But never your beautiful mind._

_And it seems to me that you lived your life_

_Like a Candle in the Wind._

_Your flame was fading _

_Though you struggled to stay lit._

_Now we all wish you'd lived _

_To see your daughter crawl_

_But your candle burned out long before_

_You were a legend at all._

Jack stared at the radio as the radio guy spoke softly, "Voted best song by the viewers this year leading up to the anniversary of Samantha O'Neill's death. One, I know, that always brings a tear to my eye and sure to most of you guys as well. Elton John with 'Candle in the Wind' and now..."

Jack's hand slammed down on the radio, the noise from it ceasing immediately as his jaw gritted the words from the song still revolving around his head. It had been made only a few weeks after she died, after the SGC was exposed and for five years he'd done everything in his power to avoid listening to it and suddenly, he'd been stood an inch from the radio, unable to move the words ensnaring him and trapping him, his heart aching and stinging bitterly. Then suddenly he felt empty. Tired and empty. And even though he had sworn to himself never to listen to it he found himself frozen, his hand hovering a foot away from the device.

He missed her. That went without saying, and quite often it literally did. Many a time he'd sat in silence just thinking of nothing in particular. He could've been anywhere in the country, anywhere in Colorado, anywhere in his house... and suddenly he'd see her ghost in the corner of his eye. He'd look up, but every time there would be an empty room.

An empty man. Jack was an empty man and that hurt so much his breath was literally tortured out of him. Every time he took a breath somewhere in his mind he'd be begging for it to be his last. Some part of his mind, however small, wanted this to be over... He wanted the pain to go, which was impossible. Pain like this didn't just disappear. It could be blocked, but how was he supposed to block it out? It was too strong for even him...

As if he'd gone into Auto pilot, Jack's feet led him out of the room and up the dark stairs in silence towards the door at the end of the hallway. He opened it, the door creaking slightly as the old, dusty staircase was revealed.

He began to climb the stairs, his training allowing him to creep up them without a squeak, before entering the attic. He felt around in the dark near the wall till he found the dusty light switch. He flicked into on and the near-dead light bulb glowed pale yellow, the excessive dust brought up just by him stepping up there, filling the old air with golden sparkles as the dust motes reflected in the light, twirling and pirouetting slowly.

He moved forward to the cardboard boxes surrounding him, wiping dust from the label and a small smile came to his lips before he began moving the boxes out of the attic to the landing before returning to get more.

It was time to stop forgetting. It was time to stop ignoring. It was time to remember...

Å

Ryan opened his eyes and found a pair of huge, blue eyes centimetres from his face. He let out a small cry and jumped, consequently falling out of bed with a thump. As he lay sprawled on the bedroom floor, staring at the ceiling, a small face looked over him tilting to one side so her face was aligned with his from her position towering over him. He let out a small sigh, "Megan! Don't do that! You scared me silly!"

"I'm sorry, Ryan," her blue eyes widened slightly and she looked genuinely sorry.

He spoke with a small smile, "S'okay. Why were you doing that?"

She clutched Teddy closer to her as she murmured, "The TV's on downstairs."

Ryan frowned, "Megs?"

"Daddy's not in his room and I don't wanna go down there on my own."

Ryan smiled pushing himself up and off the floor. He looked at his little sister clutching dear old Teddy in her arms. Her nightdress, or more precisely one of Dad's old t-shirts, hung around her ankles and covered almost all of her forearms.

Ryan sighed as his eyes fell on the clock and he frowned. It had just gone 5am. He peeked out the curtain. The sun had only just begun to rise. No wonder he was tired! Megan always woke up really early, but she usually let him sleep.

He turned back to his little sister who was now sucking her index finger. She always did that. He had no idea why. Most kids sucked their thumbs, but when Megan was scared or sad she always sucked her left index finger.

Ryan held out his hand, knowing he was going to be so tired at school today, but his little sister was scared and he had to make her feel better. That was Ryan's job and he dutifully did it. He knew that due to the fact he and Megan were always hiding there were days when they couldn't even see their Dad. Ryan also knew that something was wrong with his father. Ryan played dumb, acted as though he was oblivious to it, but he wasn't. How could he be when he could sense something was very wrong, like a dog can smell fear?

Ryan, like most children, didn't remember much about his childhood, but there were two memories that stuck out for some reason. The first was of him snuggling close to a warm comforting body. His mother. He remembered her soft voice as she sung 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' and he remembered how she smelt like vanilla and he remembered the feeling as her lips touched his forehead... then he remembered her disappearing and lying on his own for a few seconds before suddenly she was back. He remembered snuggling close to her and dozing off again... That was the only memory Ryan had of his mother and, with a stubbornness he'd been told by Uncle Daniel was a common O'Neill trait, he held onto that memory with all his heart.

The second memory stuck firmly in Ryan's head because it was the first time he realised he had to grow up. It was the first time he realised he had a little sister who he had to love and protect. It was the first time he realised he didn't have a mother and it was the first time he realised his Dad needed him. Needed him to be strong, needed him to be a big boy, needed him to look after Megs, but most importantly needed him to be there for him.

Ryan remembered waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of Megan wailing. She'd been about 1½ and was sleeping in Dad's room. When the crying didn't stop, Ryan had scrambled from his bed and wandered across the room to his father's bedroom.

His Dad had been sat there in the old rocking chair by the crib, rocking the little girl, trying as hard as he could to calm the wailing baby down. He'd then noticed tears. His Dad was crying. Ryan had known, even at that young age, that his father hated showing weakness above everything else. But his Dad was crying, nearly sobbing.

He remembered how he'd mumbled desperately, _'Shh. Shh. Please Megan. Don't cry. Please don't cry, Baby.' _He'd been rocking her gently and had moved to the crib winding up the star and moon mobile as it began to play 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'. And his Dad had began singing softly and the baby stopped crying, dozing back off to sleep.

Ryan remembered his Dad seeing him then and had beckoned him inside. Ryan had climbed into his Dad's arms and he'd snuggled in close with the small baby as his Dad had kissed him on the head and whispered in a weak and tearful voice, _'I love you, Ryan...'_

Megan stepped forward taking his hand and walking slightly behind him as they left the bedroom and began walking to the stairs. Ryan could hear it now. The TV was on and he could faintly hear the show, although he had no way of identifying it.

Megan stepped closer to him, pressed into his back. He automatically led her down the stairs, keeping her behind him the whole time. The TV became louder and Ryan felt Megan poke his leg. He turned to see she'd snagged his baseball bat and was holding it out to him. He took it and held it in both hands ready to swing as Megan's small hands clung to the rim of his shorts and then moved to the hem of his shirt, as she peered out from behind him. The second he stepped into the living room he dropped the bat. Megan slowly came out from behind him frowning confused as she walked forward cautiously. Ryan followed and watched as his tiny sister went and sat on their Dad's lap without a word.

Ryan moved, sitting close to his Dad as the man wrapped an arm around his shoulder, though Ryan didn't notice. He was transfixed by the images dancing on the television screen...

Å

"_Jack! JACK! NO NO NO! STOP IT!"_

_Bubbling laughter could be heard in the background as the camera filmed Jack tickling the beautiful woman with short blonde hair and big blue eyes. She was squealing with laughter as Teal'c stepped into the shot, lifting Jack up by the collar and carrying him a few inches from the floor dropping him in the armchair away from the couch with the still hysterically laughing woman on it. The camera followed the two men as Teal'c spoke, "O'Neill, I believe torturing your wife will not lead her to take back her previous comment. Indeed, I believe the past is unchangeable."_

_Jack just laughed harder as he said, "Teal'c, I wasn't torturing her."_

"_I think tickling me to death counts as torture," the camera turned back to Sam who was now standing with a small baby Ryan in her arms as she walked over to join them. She pointed to Jack and looked at Teal'c, "Sick him, T!"_

_Within seconds the Jaffa had Jack in a headlock and the camera was hurriedly given to someone else as Daniel came onto the screen joining Teal'c in tickling him mercilessly. Jack was crying with laughter, "STOP! PLEASE! TEAL'C! DANIEL! SAM! CALL 'EM OFF! PLEASE!"_

_Teal'c stopped after a few more seconds of torture, the equivalent of a Jaffa smirk on his usually stoic face, "I believe you owe Samantha O'Neill an apology."_

_Jack gasped in air getting his breath back for a few seconds before he grinned at the camera before, throwing himself at wife's feet theatrically, "Oh, Angel, Sugar, Honey, Princess, Sweetheart, Darling, Love of my Life..."_

_She hid her smile faking, a look of annoyance as she jiggled the baby in her arms, "Yes, Dear?"_

_He stared up at her imploringly, "Oh most beautiful wife, forgive me! I was acting in self-defence against a most unjust insult..."_

_She laughed out loud, sitting on the couch, "I called you 'cute'!"_

"_What I'm trying to say is... I love you and I will never 'torture' you again," the camera caught Jack's fingers crossed behind his back._

_Sam spoke, "Yeah... well, you better not!" She looked at Daniel, a mischievous glint in her deep blue eyes, "Take Ryan for a second, will you?"_

_Daniel frowned in confusion, but took the small baby staring at him and making embarrassing 'baby' noises, talking in that stupid high-pitched voice that people who are talking to babies always put on._

_Sam grinned at Jack playfully and within a second, she'd thrown herself on top of him and was kissing him passionately, both of them lying sprawled on the floor._

"_It's like you two can't keep your hands off each other for more than five minutes! Honestly! Get a room!" Janet's voice spoke with an irritated sigh from behind the camera, although she zoomed the shot in to the couple's faces never-the-less! _

_Everyone laughed loudly except Jack who just stared up into his wife's eyes. And smiled._

Å

Jack paused the tape, the last image of him staring into Sam's eyes lovingly still on the screen. Her beautiful blue eyes that almost filled the screen. How in God's name had he forgotten them! Forgotten that impenetrable blue that was so deep that he could stare into her eyes and keep falling and falling forever, and he'd never stop. Never.

His eyes remained transfixed and a small voice from his shoulder spoke, "That was Mom."

"Yeah," Jack breathed in reply. Why was his voice so thick and croaky all of a sudden? Jack O'Neill was a master at suppressing emotions. Why couldn't he do it now? Why did he have to feel so lost all of a sudden?

His son shifted at his side, "And me. How old was I?"

"It was your first birthday."

A head popped up in front of the screen, with equally blue eyes and messy blonde hair. Jack didn't realise until that moment that Megan could quite easily have been a reincarnation of his beautiful wife. She spoke in her innocent tone, her eyes wide, as she cocked her head to the side in an expression that reminded Jack of a puppy, "Daddy?"

His eyes finally focussed on the beautiful girl sat on his lap staring into his eyes. No, he wasn't lost. Just temporarily misplaced. He smiled ruffling her hair, "Yes, Sweetie?"

The child spoke with a small frown, "You never laugh like that."

Jack shook his head slightly, as he sighed sadly, "No. No, I don't."

Ryan hugged closer to him for a second and spoke in a wistful whisper, "I don't remember her. Not really."

Jack stood up slowly, holding Megan as her legs clung around him. Ryan stood up beside him. He led them into the kitchen, as he sat Megan at the table and Ryan slid onto the chair next to her.

Jack spoke, busying himself with getting them some breakfast, "She died when you were only 3. You won't remember much about her."

Ryan spoke quietly, although loud enough for his father to hear him, "She used to smell like vanilla and she used to sing 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star'."

Jack spun around shocked, the bowl clattering to the floor as it slipped from his fingers in surprise. Luckily, it had been Megan's plastic Simpsons bowl and it hadn't broken. Jack shook off his shock and bent down picking up the bowl and continuing in the normal routine, "Yes."

Megan spoke with a tiny frown creasing between her eyebrows, the miniature version of the frown... her mom used to wear, "Daddy? What was Mommy's real name? Melanie said that her Mommy's real name is Charlotte and I didn't know that mommies and daddies had other names."

Jack snorted slightly at the child's ignorance before he realised he had to answer her question. His hands started to tremble and he spilt cereal all over the work surface. He cursed under his breath, when he felt a hand touch his arm.

He turned to look at Ryan as the boy spoke quietly, "I'll do it, Dad."

Jack shook his head, "It's OK. I can manage."

Ryan looked at his sister, a look of authority in his brown eyes, "Megs, it's 6am. Barney is on! Go put on the TV. I'll be there in sec, OK?"

Megan looked worried and stood up slowly before moving into the living room. It was a few seconds later that that obnoxious purple dinosaur began singing that ghastly song, "I love you, You love me..."

'God, they have no clue! Love!?! Yeah, whatever! They have no idea about Love!' Jack pulled a hand through his greying hair, releasing the unexpected wave of anger. And all at some stupid kids show, 'What is wrong with me? I'm so cynical! I'm a bitter old man!'

Ryan continued to stare at him meaningfully with his dark eyes, "Dad, do you want me to call Aunty Janet?"

"No, I'm fine," Jack said dismissing his eight–year-old's concern

Ryan shook his head, refusing to let his father fool him, "You look sick."

Jack snorted as he spoke comfortingly, "Honestly, Kiddo. Don't worry."

Ryan watched him suspiciously for a few seconds as Jack cleared up the spilled cereal and successfully filled the bowls with Froot Loops and milk. He passed Ryan his bowl and a spoon as he walked into the living room carrying Megan's own bowl.

The tiny girl sat in the armchair, looking so small that she could've fallen down between the cushion and the arm. Her feet dangled in midair and that shirt he'd given her to wear in bed engulfed her small frame. He smiled softly, placing her bowl on the coffee table for a second. He lifted her up and sat her on his knee, passing her her bowl.

She grinned and snuggled into his arms. He smiled back holding his little girl close. She looked at him, eating a spoonful of Froot Loops before she spoke hesitantly, "Daddy, can we watch Mommy again?"

Jack looked at his daughter surprised. He should've seen it coming. The poor kid had never even seen her Mom. She would naturally be curious. He could be expecting months of questions in the future. And he promised Megan silently he'd try and answer them all. He really would try.

He smiled slightly, "Sure." He turned to Ryan, "You can't go to school today anyway thanks to those stupid Reporters, so... sure. Ryan, take a tape out of that box and put it in the machine."

Ryan spoke cautiously, "You sure, Dad?"

Jack smiled fondly. That was his Ryan. Jack knew how desperately Ryan wanted to watch his Mother again. He could tell by the look in his eyes when he'd been watching the 'torture' session from his 1st birthday. But however much Ryan had wanted to watch it, the first thing he'd asked was if it was OK with him. Ryan, having inherited his Mom's brains and unimaginable compassion, obviously realised how much watching that tape had affected him.

Jack nodded, "We should've watched them ages ago. Now put it on."

Ryan nodded, ran over to the cardboard box. He closed his eyes and delved his hand into the box pulling out a tape. He ran to the VCR pushing the cassette in as the next camera footage began to play and Jack's eyes fell on the beautiful face of the woman he loved for the first time in what felt like forever.

Å

"Dad? Dad!"

Jack felt an insistent tugging on his shoulder and heard the hissing in his ear. He rolled over and began to open his eyes, "OK! I'm up. I'm up."

When his eyes finally opened he saw Ryan stood in front of him looking scared out of his wits as he anxiously tugged on the hem of his pyjama top. Jack suddenly felt wide awake, "Ryan?"

"Something's wrong with Megan..."

No sooner had the words left his son's mouth that Jack was throwing himself out of bed and rushing out of the room. He ran into the kids' bedroom and saw Megan sat in the corner of the room eyes wide, crying and shaking and looking around the room as though replicators were crawling down the walls towards her.

Jack knew his small daughter, despite her obvious intelligence, still believed in monsters under the bed and although her fear of them was great, she wouldn't be that scared, especially with Ryan in the room.

He walked towards her a few paces before the girl cried out, "What's going on? Where am I?"

A strange panic rose in Jack's throat at his daughter's strange tone and he muttered to Ryan, "Call Auntie Janet. Now. Call everyone."

Ryan did what he was told without a sound, running downstairs, knowing without a doubt that this was another strange occurrence in his lifetime that could not be explained. Jack walked closer as Megan began screaming, "LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!"

Jack spoke softly, "Sweetheart. It's me. It's OK."

The girl's eyes widened, "Who are you? Why have you taken me? Where am I?"

Jack finally reached her. He collapsed to the floor hurriedly, desperate to find out what was wrong with his little girl. He stared at her worried, "I'm here, Baby. It's OK. It's just a nightma..."

As he hesitantly reached towards her she went berserk, "They don't know where I am! They don't know where I am! That's why you took me! They won't be able to rescue me!" She began to cry hysterically, her voice shrieking in the usual stillness of the night, "They think I'm dead! They won't come for me!" She looked absolutely terrified, "They can't rescue me..." Her face suddenly contorted with anger and hatred, "I won't tell you anything! I won't betray them!"

Ryan coming back upstairs made Jack jump. He walked over to his son, "Ryan? What happened?"

Ryan spoke scared as he stared at the tiny bundle of 5 year old and nightdress in the corner, "She was tossing and turning in her sleep. I woke her up. I think she was having a nightmare. She kept whining and calling out..."

"What was she saying?"

"She said my name a few times. She called for Uncle Daniel and Teal'c and Auntie Janet. Then she started calling for Jack."

Jack felt his heart stop and the blood rush from his face, "What?"

"Jack. Isn't that your real name?"

Jack spun back to the small girl huddled in the corner crying, ignoring his son's question. She was weeping softly and the tune that she sung in an attempt to calm herself was unmistakable:

"Twinkle, Twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are?

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, Twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are...?"

Jack crawled close to her and gently wrapped and arm around her. The child flinched and then her eyes met his for a second and she gasped. Tears began to spill faster from her horrified azure eyes as she just stared at him. After a few seconds, she whispered, "Jack? Is that you?" The fair haired child shook her head as if not believing her eyes that stared intently into his own in a strange expression. After a second, she began to speak loudly and desperately, gripping his t-shirt in her small fists, "It's me! It's me! Jack, it's me!"

"I know, Sweetheart," he pulled her closer and into his arms, cradling her in his lap, "Auntie Janet's on her way, OK?"

"_Auntie_ Janet? What? Jack, I don't understand. Where am I? What's going on?"

He stared at her disbelieving as the child looked back at him, looking utterly confused. Then he saw something in the depths of her beautiful eyes that made him jump up, Megan falling ungracefully from his lap. He began to back away, shaking his head slowly as the doorbell rang frantically. Ryan looked between them for a second before speeding downstairs obviously thinking his family had totally lost it.

Jack just stared at the child in dismay, feeling himself trembling. Megan looked around again, "I won't tell you anything, Apophis! This isn't real! None of this is real!"

Jack continued to gawp as he whispered, "Megan, tell me what's wrong!"

She looked at him confused, a heart-broken expression on her face, "Jack, what are you talking about? Megan's dead." She let out a shuddery sigh of pain, "Where's Ryan? Why aren't I in the Hospital? Am I sick? Is that why Janet's coming? It's not Megan, is it? She's not still alive, is she? Please tell me it was a horrible dream, Jack!"

A gasp from the doorway told Jack the other's had arrived. He continued to back away hitting a wall. The small girl stood reaching towards him, tear streaming from her eyes before looking at her hands and body. She turned them over in front of her eyes, her face contorted with horror, "What's happened to me?" Once she spoke she gasped at the voice. She looked around and then her eyes fixed on Ryan stood clinging to the back of Jack's boxer shorts, "Ryan?"

The little boy spoke, "Yeah, Megs. I'm here."

She let out a sob of pain, shock and confusion before she whispered, "Oh my God!" She swayed on her feet, her eyelids fluttering closed, and collapsed to the bedroom floor.

Daniel and Janet ran to the small child as Janet spoke, "She's just fainted. Get her on the bed."

A strong hand fell on Jack's shoulder as Teal'c's voice rumbled, "O'Neill? Why do you fear Megan O'Neill? What is her ailment?"

Jack just gawped noiselessly for a few seconds, before Daniel spoke, "Why did she call you 'Jack'? What was she talking about?"

"She's not Megan," Jack murmured, his voice dry and hushed.

"What?" Daniel said looking at the tiny girl being tucked beneath her blankets.

Jack continued to stare at the child, before his eyes rose to Daniel's, "It's... her."

"Her?"

Jack just looked up at Daniel and whispered the name he hadn't spoken in 5 years, "It's... S... It's... S...am... Oh God, Daniel! It's... Sam..."

Å

"Jack?"

Jack didn't look at his friend. He continued to stare into space not focussing on any particular point. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. His Sam...

He gritted his jaw, refusing to cry. He'd done enough crying the past years over the death of his wife. Truth was, now he had no idea if she was alive or dead. He had no idea...

"Jack?" He felt Daniel's fingers land on his forearm and squeeze gently, "Jack, please talk to me."

Jack didn't reply or even acknowledge Daniel's comment. It was Sam. It had to be. He gritted his jaw tighter. He wasn't going to cry. He had no reason to cry. He should be happy. Problem was whatever had happened to Megan she wasn't the one speaking anymore.

"Dad?"

The voice of his son made Jack blink realising even with his jaw gritted that his eyes had begun to water. Slowly he glanced up at his son beside him. Ryan was crying as he whispered fearfully, "What's wrong with Megs? Is she going to die?"

Jack just opened his mouth, unable to reply. He had no idea how to function anymore. It was like his brain had just shut down. He shook his head slowly as Daniel's grip tightened on his forearm for a second, urging him to come back to them.

Ryan's tears fell faster from his dark eyes as the grip on Jack's arm dissipated and Daniel moved to the boy pulling him into his arms, hugging him close. Jack just watched knowing he should be the one comforting his son, but he couldn't. Hell, he was having trouble breathing and moving at all. He couldn't speak words of comfort if he couldn't speak full stop.

After a few seconds, Daniel stood and took Ryan from the room, Jack noticing as Janet stepped into the room although he never looked up at her. She spoke hesitantly, "Jack, I'm going to bring some equipment here, as I'm not sure if Megan can be moved." She waited for a second as if expecting him to agree or argue with her. When he didn't reply she let out a soft sigh, "We'll get to the bottom of this, Jack. Just hang on for me, OK?"

Her voice broke off for a second before she walked forward quickly, kneeling before his chair and staring up into his face with soulful brown eyes that showed all the pain she'd been through in the past years. Not a fresh pain, but a pain that had been decaying as every day went by, becoming stronger and more agonizing as every second passed.

He immediately dropped her gaze unwilling to look into her eyes any longer. Her face was like a mirror, reflecting how he felt, although it was slightly less potent. That expression made his jaw grit with as much force as he could muster, Jack surprised he hadn't broken any teeth yet.

Janet let out a small gasp as if she'd just be burned and clasped his face in her hands forcefully; making his eyes look into hers as she whispered, "Just hang on. Please. Hold on."

Jack screwed his eyes up fiercely although the tear managed to escape and then it happened. The mask broke. Jack's 'shell' shattered into pieces and all that was left was the vulnerable man underneath.

His voice was a sob as he murmured, "I don't think I can. Why is this happening?" He was suddenly shouting, "Haven't I already suffered enough! For Christ's sake, Sam's dead. She's DEAD! I spent 5 months before Megan was born, watching her get sicker and sicker knowing she was going to die! I KNEW and there was nothing i could do! Nothing that could change it!"

He got up from the chair and began thrashing around the kitchen, smashing plates and glasses in a grief-stricken rage, "I had to live through every day knowing i was going to lose her! i had to keep breathing and stay strong even when she was in that hospital bed! she was terrified of dying and there was nothing i could do! I couldn't take it away, I couldn't help her. All i could do was sit there and watch as she faded AWAY! She... She... She just... faded, Janet... and... and... she wouldn't wake up. Janet, she wouldn't wake up. I called her name, but... She wouldn't wake up... She wouldn't wake up..."

Janet was crying as she stood up and edged towards him whispering, "Jack." She moved closer as Jack's sobbing became so hard that he no longer had the strength to break everything in sight. Her arms wrapped around him and slowly she helped lower him to the floor as he sobbed into her shoulder brokenly. She placed a sisterly kiss on his head as she cried into his hair, "We will get through this together. We are going to find out what's going on and everything's going to be alright. Together. But we can only do it together if you hold on. Don't slip away." Janet let out a shuddery sob before she murmured forcefully, "Sam loved you and she'd want you to get through this. Even if you took it one breath at a time, she'd want you to make it through. Stay strong for her, Jack. Please. Stay strong for Sam."

Å

Between sleep and awareness was where Sam had been for years, knowing nothing, feeling nothing, just _being_. All she had were the memories that had been going through her mind over and over. Memories of her life, her love, her 'death'...

It was between sleep and awareness that Sam had begun to realise that it hadn't been a nightmare, but had been very real. Everything she'd been through before being forced into this state of being, neither living nor dead, had been real.

Of course, her life with Jack and Ryan hadn't been a nightmare and neither had been getting so ill, although some would probably guess that had been the nightmare she'd been referring to. In fact, Sam had acknowledged whilst in that place of endlessness, she'd been ready to die. Not really happy about it, but not sad about it either, just ready.

She remembered so clearly her son snuggled close to her useless and feeble body as she sung to him. She remembered the way he drifted off to sleep and sucked his thumb, snoring gently. She remembered watching him and her husband sleeping and thinking she was ready to die. She'd never wanted to leave either of them, but now she'd never know if she would've or if the Powers That Be decided to reiterate SG-1's 'dumb-luck', allowing her to make a miraculous recovery.

But as she said, she never got the chance to find out.

During her time in between levels of consciousness Sam thought her many shoulda-woulda-couldas, always wondering if she would've lived to see her son grow up, although knowing she'd never find out if she would've died that night or in thousands of nights time when she was old lying in bed beside the man she loved and just drifting off into her last slumber.

All she knew was she'd been taken. Taken away from those she loved by an unexpected captor. She'd been in consciousness for only hours, her last memory of life being of hearing the plan that one day would mean she'd have to fight for the life of a tiny baby girl. The tiny baby girl she'd brought into the world only a few days earlier and who had never drawn her first breath. A baby girl who, at some time in the future would become, for use of a better term, her host...

Then Sam had been essentially downloaded from her body, which was irritatingly absent at the present time, and had been placed inside her baby daughter, who'd been brought back to life for just one purpose... well, two actually.

Firstly, so Sam had a new vessel for her consciousness and secondly, revenge. A way to break Jack O'Neill and Sam sensed it was working and he hadn't even discovered what had become of her real body in its 5, maybe 6, year absence. Yet something was telling her, she...

Sam felt it again. The strange hot sensation that seemed to tingle her nose like when she smelt smoke, telling her she was about to wake again. Now she'd be prepared for it. Now she wouldn't be too busy being terrified, shocked and disorientated to tell them what was going on.

She felt herself being pulled from that place again as she became aware of having a body, the feeling of a duvet covering her, the sensation of a nightdress against her skin... Slowly, she felt able to move and little by little, after a second of deliberation, she opened the eyes that were not her own and woke.

Å

The person who greeted Sam had not been the one she'd been expecting. She blinked and stared at the young woman in confusion.

"Sam?"

The hazel eyes were familiar and the face... It finally dawned on Sam...

"Cassie? Oh my God! Look at you!"

A grin split the beautiful young woman's face as she laughed gleefully, her eyes filling with tears, "It really is you. Dad was right!"

Sam moved her infant body so she was sat upright and Cassie through her arms around her tightly. Sam felt a tear of her own fall from her eyes, "You... Your... You're so old!"

Cassie laughed again, although a few tears lined the contours of her face with liquid as she pulled away, "It's been 5 years, Sam."

Sam nodded and stared down at the 5-year-old's cute palm and podgy fingers. She sighed softly, "I... I've missed so much..."

Cassie shivered slightly as she swept a runaway strand of light brown hair from her moistened cheeks, "When you died, something in all of us just... left, y'know? Jack didn't know what to do with himself any more..."

Another tear found its way from the eyes of her daughter as she thought of the almost horrified look on Jack's face when he'd realised she was in their baby girl's body. After a second she murmured, "I never died. I was abducted before I actually died. There was a plot to enact revenge on me, but Jack in particular. I... I was taken from my body and placed inside Megan..."

"How?" Cassie's voice showed her absolute confusion and disgust at the thought.

Sam spoke slowly, "Thor had no way of knowing, it was so perfectly planned... My consciousness was placed in the Asguard device... the one that brought Megan back to life. As it was doing so I was.... 'downloaded' into her..." Sam shuddered in revulsion at the horrific violation that had been enacted on her. After a second she continued, "I couldn't gain control of her body. Her mind was not developed enough... I wasn't expecting to resurface so soon, if at all. The way he put it, I thought Megan would have to be in her teens... only then could she have that high a capacity to allow me to surface..."

Cassie's eyebrows frowned as she murmured hesitantly, as if not wanting an answer, "Who's 'he'?"

"Cassie..." Sam whispered, in a voice that was not her own, "You have to tell everyone that... that Apophis has my body and that he is currently getting his revenge. On Jack in the worst way he possibly could..."

Cassie gasped in shock, "Apophis? How? What's his revenge?"

Sam's vision rose and met Cassie's frightened face as she said tears trailing her face, "Either he has to get by body back from Apophis, whatever that Snakehead has done with it, and find someway of getting me back in my own body... or..."

Her body shook as she broke down, her voice shaking, "Or Me and Megan will die and this time nothing will be able to bring us back."

FINIS

Yet more Author's Notes: Watch this Space! This will be continued soon! I'm glad I'm finally putting this on-line! Enjoy and if you have any comments, good or bad, please review this. Your opinion means more to me than any of my friends, (what can I say! They always lie!!) Thanks again for reading. Oh and I always wanted to say this... TO BE CONTINUED...!!!

Copyright (C) Sam I Am 2004


	5. Finding Strength Part Two

Finding Strength

By Sam I Am – 

Rating: PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that) also Daniel/Janet.

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, mild Daniel/Janet, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, probably AU fic as it couldn't happen in the series, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!

Sequel: To 'Vulnerability'! (Yes, I actually finished the sequel!!!)

Time frame: After 'Vulnerability'!

Summary: It's been five years since the end of 'Vulnerability' and things on Earth aren't going well. Just when Jack tries to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and perhaps get on with his life, the plot thickens... yet again!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. 'Candle in the Wind' is sung by Elton John and I altered the lyrics without permission (Sorry!) No Copyright intended, it's one of my favourite songs and it worked perfectly with the story! Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: The sequel has arrived! Oh it took me a while, but its here! I have always loved 'Vulnerability' since I began writing it in Yr7. Now I've finally completed the story and I can rest at night in the knowledge that the story that began in the days of my youth is now ready to be read by you guys!

Dedications: Hannah, I should stop praising you! But I can't! It's physically impossible! You are the greatest girly friend I could have and I will NEVER forget you. Love you, Hon. Also to all my friends and to all of you guys who have read my stuff. I'm glad to hear what you think. Thanks again.

The waiting is over... Finding Strength!

Å

**Part Five**

It was only when she slapped him that Jack finally listened to what Cassie was frantically trying to tell him. As he'd refused to go see 'Sam', she'd had to tell him what was going on. He hadn't listened, disagreed with every word she'd said and it had obviously irritated her.

Her hazel eyes glared at him, "Jack! Your Wife and your Daughter's lives are at stake! Will you listen to me?!"

Jack stared back at the kitchen floor as he pulled a hand over his unshaven cheek, scratchy with stubble, trying to numb the pain. Cassie could slap harder than a guy could've punched!

The young woman spoke again, obviously not a bit sorry for slapping him, "Now you listen to me and you listen good! If we don't find Sam's body and find a way to get her back inside it both her and Megan are going to die!" Cassandra's eyes began to fill with tears, Jack could hear it in her voice, "And I can't lose them both again! I can't lose you again!"

Jack looked up at her in surprise, "Lose me?"

Cassie nodded and sniffed, her tears disappearing as she spoke seriously, "I lost my real father when I was barely old enough to walk. I lost my mother to a disease that every single person from my planet died from except me. I lost Sam, one of my dearest friends and as close to me as a mother. I lost you when you lost her."

Jack blinked and murmured, "I'm sorry, Cass."

She nodded obviously having experienced enough pain in her life that was only just over two decades old. She spoke quietly, "A year ago, I almost lost Rya'c and it nearly killed me..."

Jack remembered the incident, remembering how that had been the point where they had all realised there was love between the two young people. Rya'c, Teal'c and Bray'tac had all gone on a mission to protect a camp of Jaffa rebels from an attack from Apophis Bray'tac had heard of through his contacts. When they arrived they'd almost been too late. The gliders and various other Goa'uld ships had arrived minutes afterwards. The evacuation of the camp had been an overall success although Rya'c had returned mortally wounded, Teal'c only slightly better off. The Jaffa didn't possess the medical facilities to care for him so Dr. Fraiser and a medical team were requested for...

Cassie continued, obviously emotionally drained as she whispered, "I was terrified when I heard what had happened to him. I love him with all my heart and I didn't want him to die and for me to end up like you did." Jack was about to object, but Cassie continued regardless, "Don't deny it! You died the same time she did. On Tuesday, when you brought my mom home, I thought you were back from the dead," she stared at him with her piercing hazel eyes in an expression that almost broke his heart, "And now you're just going to give up. Die all over again. I know you will because losing Megan, losing Sam and losing the chance to have her alive and well again will kill you. You don't have to be an Air force Colonel or a top astrophysicist to see it."

Slowly, Cassie rose and moved to the door of the kitchen. She hesitated in the doorway, her hands holding the doorframe, without looking back, "And I thought you should know. Apophis did this as revenge. He has Sam's body and without a doubt is taking his revenge on 'her' somewhere out there..." Cassie looked over her shoulder at him, "If you loved her, you'd go out there, find that sick bastard, kick his arse and get her body back. The Jack O'Neill I knew would've done that, at least to respect her wishes..."

"And what are her wishes?"

Cassie turned away again and her hands slid from the doorframe. She stepped from the room leaving it in an eerie silence after she whispered, "That her daughter can live."

Å

It was early morning and Jack, as usual was restless. He climbed from beneath his sheets and made his usual pilgrimage to his dresser, pulling on a baggy t-shirt and a pair of jeans from his wardrobe. He glanced at his son, snuggled up in a sleeping bag on a blow up bed at the other end of his room. Ryan hadn't wanted to sleep in the same room as... her. She was neither his daughter nor his deceased wife and so he had nothing to call her.

He slipped out of the room and stood in the hallway for a second. His eyes flicked from the stairs to the door of the kids' bedroom and back again. He sighed softly and then moved to the door that was ajar. He glanced inside silently pushing the door open. It swung back without a squeak and Jack stepped into the room.

His eyes fell on his daughter's body. She lay on her side in a ball, one hand placed palm down on the empty space of pillow beside her beautiful face. She was neither sucking her thumb nor hugging Teddy; both things reminded Jack that this was not his little girl. Her closed eyes had greyish circles beneath them and she looked pale her face taking on an expression that Jack only associated with one person. It was the expression Sam used to wear whilst she slept after she'd been crying hard. A tiny frown between her eyebrows, the corners of her mouth curving down ever so slightly, her jaw clenched even in sleep...

Jack realised for the hundredth time how much Megan looked like her mother. His eyes tingled although not enough for him to cry. He released his breath in a soft sigh as he slowly leant against the doorframe, folding his arms across his chest in a position Jack guessed he'd learnt from Daniel.

He watched her sleep for a few minutes, barely daring to breathe. He watched as Megan's hand moved slightly against the pillow. Her fingers flexed slightly as if she was trying to grip the pillow, trying to reach for someone who wasn't there...

He couldn't bear this anymore. He turned around and began to move towards the stairs...

"Do you still love her?"

The whispered statement made him jump. He spun on his heels to see Cassie, her hair tousled and she was stood by the spare bedroom door, in her pyjamas. She'd stayed the night just in case something happened to Sam/Megan again and suddenly Jack wondered just how long the woman had been stood watching him with knowing eyes.

Jack hissed back in her direction, "You made me jump!"

Cassie spoke again, her voice serious, "Jack, tell me! Do you still love her?"

Jack gulped slightly, his eyes moving to the floor as he relished the silence for as long as he could. He sighed as he murmured, "More than anything. Cass, I have to go. I have to go now. I don't care how, but I'm going to the SGC and I'm going to find that bastard. I'll make him pay and I'll get her body back because I can't live without her anymore. I just... can't."

A watery smile came to Cassandra's lips as she whispered hurriedly, "Go. Take Dad. Go to Teal'c and Rya'c. Sam told me that Apophis has got her locked up in a fortress somewhere. The Jaffa resistance might know where. Just... be safe!"

Jack jogged to her, kissed her on the cheek and pulled her into a hug before he spoke quietly, "Take care of my family." When she nodded he sped downstairs and straight out his front door into his truck.

Cassie stood on the landing and sighed softly. She wiped a tear from her face...

"He loves me...?"

Cassie jumped to see Megan... Sam stood in the doorway of her room. She was also in tears although she was silent for a few minutes just staring into space before she murmured, "To me it feels like second since we were sat in the hospital and he was telling me not to be afraid. Strange how after all this time he...?"

Cassie watched the woman in a child's body as she glanced at her and spoke with a tiny smile, "Night Cassie. Sweet dreams."

As quickly as she appeared, she vanished back into her bedroom, softly closing the door behind her, leaving Cassie alone in the corridor. She smiled again to herself sniffed slightly and then padded back into the spare room, glad to have made Jack realise his own denial and happy that Sam knew her husband still loved her.

She collapsed on the bed with a small sigh and crawled beneath the duvet as she closed her eyes, drifting off into her dreams. Memories filled her mind. Sam and Jack getting married, her parents getting married, Rya'c proposing to her... before her memories mixed with things to come and she fell into oblivion.

Å

The gate spun, Davis calling out the usual 'Chevron One Encoded' and so on and so forth as Jack stood before the alien device and marvelled at its beauty.

It had been so long since he'd last stood here. Just under 6 years ago, when Teal'c had left back to Chulak. At the time there had been a lot of racism towards the Jaffa and although the main opinion of the world was that Teal'c was a hero, there had been a minority who'd tried to kill him more than once. Earth had become in Teal'c's words, 'Not only a jeopardy for my own health, but a most unpleasant experience.'

"You OK?"

Jack glanced at his best friend and smiled slightly. Daniel stood, dressed in BDUs with a P-90 hanging around his neck and a coffee cup in his hands. Daniel looked so exhausted and Jack felt sorry for dragging the guy out of bed at 3 in the morning, but he had to know... He had to know if he could save her...

"I'm fine..." Jack said softly, his eyes moving back to the magnificent ring before him. The Stargate locked the last chevron, Earth, and with a spectacular whoosh of light, sound and blue, it came to life in a way that Jack had almost forgotten. His mind filled with wonderment, the mechanical functions of the gate becoming more poignant. How on Earth could he have forgotten this? How could he have forgotten the feeling of excitement and anxiety as he stood in the gate room with Teal'c, Daniel and Sam? How could he have forgotten it?

The SGC had been his life. He'd always thought he'd be lost without it, but truth was it was his team and Sam who made the SGC was for him, and without any of them it became nothing more than a job.

"You don't look fine," Daniel said, gulping down the last of his coffee.

Jack spoke, a small frown creasing his brow, "Well I will be fine..."

They began to walk up the ramp, their air force regulation boots clanking slightly, a few SFs saluting, Sgt. Davis speaking through the mike: "Good luck, Sir. I hope you find her."

Daniel spoke in an undertone as they reached the Gate and Jack hesitated, "Jack, you do know that..." Daniel sighed softly and as Jack glanced at him he gave a strained smile, "Just don't get your hopes up."

Jack nodded, his lips pursing into a thin line as he stepped into the wormhole.

Å

Teal'c stood waiting to see his closest friends for the first time in 6 years. It was stood here in the cool darkness of winter night time that Teal'c regretted not seeing his friends enough. He'd been here on Chulak for 6 years and that was too long a time by far.

The recent events in O'Neill's life had had a strange impact on the Jaffa. He'd had a strange dream, a nightmare after he'd heard the news the previous day. A nightmare of Samantha O'Neill, alone and scared at the hands of Apophis and then flashbacks of when Daniel Jackson's Abydonian wife, Sha're, had been chosen to become the host to Ammounet.

Teal'c changed his position slightly as his mentor spoke from beside him, "They will come through shortly."

He nodded slightly and turned to Bray'tac. He gave a small smile, "I cannot tempt you to accompany us on this quest for Samantha O'Neill, Old man?"

Bray'tac chuckled and pulled his cloak tighter around him, a small wisp of water vapour leaving his mouth, "I am too old, Teal'c. If I could fight as well as I could 10 years ago, I would be at your side when you saved Samantha O'Neill. But I can not and it is not 10 years ago, when Samantha O'Neill was Major Carter and you were all fighting alongside each other as SG-1," Bray'tac sighed slightly, looking much frailer to Teal'c in the reduced light, "My honour is pained that I can not be there to assist you, especially when I owe Samantha O'Neill my life many times over. I regret that I shall not be able to repay that debt to her, except with the knowledge of where she may be detained..."

Teal'c looked at his teacher, "She would be most grateful to you and the loyal Jaffa who gained that information and risked his life to send it to us."

Bray'tac nodded, "I was surprised how quickly I got a reply and even more shocked that it was the information we required."

With a sudden explosion of light from the gate, both men looked at the ring in awe. When the two figures staggered down the steps and the blinding blue and white light disappeared, Teal'c felt a wide smile form on his face.

He stepped towards the two men, embracing both of them before pulling back, "It is most pleasing to see you both again."

O'Neill gave a small, tired smile, "And you, Teal'c."

Teal'c took in the appearances of his two dear companions. Daniel Jackson's hair was ruffled and messy, as was O'Neill's, who was greyer than when Teal'c had last seen him. They both had tired circles beneath their eyes and had obviously left Earth at an extremely early hour in the morning, 3am if Teal'c's calculations were accurate.

O'Neill seemed much older and wearier. Teal'c knew how hard the past several years must have been for him, Teal'c yet again regretting that their reunion had not come sooner and been under slightly less urgent circumstances.

Daniel spoke with a yawn as he shivered slightly in the chill, Teal'c noticing some signs of ageing on his face also, "Do you know where she is?"

Teal'c nodded towards Master Bray'tac as the old man spoke, "Dr. Jackson, Colonel O'Neill. It is an honour to meet with you both after so long."

They both inclined their head respectfully as Jack murmured softly, his voice husky with obvious desperation and emotion, "What do you know? Where is she?"

The elderly Jaffa spoke, beckoning for them to follow him as he began walking back towards the town; "You must rest for a few hours and eat something before we discuss how you may rescue her." He glanced at the strong Tau'ri beside him, "You appear very fatigued and that will not help you help her."

Jack shook his head and stopped only a few yards from the Gate, "We can sleep when she's back home and safe. Please Bray'tac. Is she alive?"

Bray'tac sighed with a tired expression on his face, "Yes. She is alive. From what my contact has told me, she's alive. In fact, it was only at some time between the past month and this week that she has been revived successfully. What I gathered from my servant undercover in that fortress is that Apophis has been trying to erase her memory..."

Daniel frowned, "But how can that be? Sam's consciousness is in Megan."

Bray'tac nodded, "Apparently, something of her remains for it has been very difficult for Apophis to brainwash her, most likely for the purpose of giving her a Goa'uld..."

"But that makes no sense either," Daniel said, his frown deepening further as he folded his arms characteristically, "Why would he have to brainwash Sam for her to become host to a Goa'uld?"

Teal'c spoke up, his deep melodic voice a comfort to Jack O'Neill, "It seems that the fragment of Samantha O'Neill still present in her body is most reluctant to be implanted. Although the Jaffa who is hidden amongst Apophis's serpent guards could not relay much information to us, we were told that the Goa'uld is Apophis's lover, Kephni, and that in turn the Goa'uld becomes extremely irritated when they try to introduce her into Samantha O'Neill's body."

Daniel sighed, as if the situation was exasperatingly illogical, "Why would a Goa'uld reject a body? It makes no sense!"

Teal'c spoke again, "We shall see if our secret operative can relay anything more." He turned to the ancient Jaffa beside him, "Master Bray'tac, are you capable of returning to your abode alone?"

He nodded with a chuckle, "I shall cope, Teal'c."

Daniel spoke up, "Give my regards to Rya'c, won't you?"

Bray'tac inclined his head, "The next time I see you, it shall be at your daughter and Rya'c's wedding, no doubt." He nodded and then spoke to the two Tau'ri, "Good luck on your quest and I hope you are able to save Samantha."

O'Neill didn't reply as Daniel Jackson glanced at him for a second and then smiled at the Jaffa Master, "Thank you for all your help, Bray'tac."

Bray'tac smiled in return before slowly continuing his way down the path towards the Jaffa settlement, his age finally catching up with him. A small smile came to Jack's face as he remember the time he'd first met Bray'tac and the 112 year old man had one in a fight due to Jack underestimating him. He'd never made the same mistake again.

Teal'c placed a hand on O'Neill's shoulder before turning them back to face the Gate, the metal glinting in the chilled moonlight, "Hurry. We must leave immediately."

Teal'c stepped up to the DHD and began to slowly press the chevrons, each one lighting up in that familiar orange colour, a swishing clunk following every time his fingers pressed one.

Teal'c spread his palm out, pressing the glowing amber hemisphere in the centre; the illusion of water that was made of electric-blue and dazzling-white energy erupted from the metal ring.

Jack gripped his P-90 tightly in his hands as the three of them walked slowly up to the event horizon and through to the other side...

The sound of around 60 staff weapons engaging met them as they re-emerged in a forest, the canopy only broken by a Goa'uld fortress, monstrous and enormous, gilded and covered in serpent gargoyles...

Å

They were marched slowly towards the ominous gate in the shape of a golden cobra, its mouth wide and its fangs sharp, metal doors within its throats opening slowly as the score of Jaffa escorting them pushed and shoved them forwards.

They'd walked for around half an hour through the forest before they'd finally reached the fortress and Daniel realised that now they were captured they'd have no chance of escaping this place. When he said fortress he used the name loosely! This place was almost like a town confined to one 20 storey building.

They were dragged into a throne room and Jack's eyes fell upon a face he'd last seen being transported out of another room, his face contorted with anger and his eyes flashing white…

A completely different expression was on his face now. An expression that was more worrying than any look of rage he could've given them. His eyes were glittering with gleeful malice and Jack prayed that this had all been a lie. Jack prayed that he hadn't got Sam's body. He would rather his wife remained dead for all eternity than for Apophis to be torturing her.

He grinned, "I have been expecting you would arrive eventually, although I had no idea you were still in business." He smirked nastily as he turned his back to them, his gold and black robe swishing along the floor, "I'd heard that SG-1 had disbanded…?"

They all knelt in silence until Apophis turned to face them again, looking at Jack in slight surprise, "No remarks, Colonel? Nothing to amuse me with?"

Jack didn't answer. Apophis just chuckled, his alien voice sounding unpleasant, "No matter. You shall all talk when I have you tortured." He grinned again and looked at his Jaffa, "Take the Shol'va and Dr. Jackson to a cell. I wish to talk with Colonel O'Neill."

The Jaffa holding Daniel and Teal'c began dragging them back out the way they'd come, Jack still in a kneeling position dreading what Apophis wanted to talk to him about. He knew who this would involve and Jack's fear increased. What if Bray'tac had been wrong? What if she was dead? Or worse, was actually a Goa'uld? Jack knew he'd die on the spot if that was true...

Apophis grinned horribly, "It has been a while, Tau'ri. I was quite disappointed to discover you'd retired from the field of battle. Your attempts at destroying me were somewhat amusing..."

Jack gritted his jaw, refusing to say something stupid, knowing that if he said something to anger Apophis enough, as he'd be likely to do, Daniel, Teal'c and maybe even his wife would be in danger.

Apophis seemed to be frustrated by Jack's unwillingness to respond and tried again, "Your miniscule brain seems to have deteriorated even more. Did you not think that the Gate would be guarded whilst you were planning your pathetic excuse for a rescue mission? You have become old and weak since we last saw one another, but then again the last time we met you were an adolescent. Now my revenge for your insolence shall be complete!"

Jack looked up at the Goa'uld, dressed in a serpent headdress, his dark eyes glaring up at the man who had caused him 6 years of pain without his wife. Jack's rage was welling within him, making him want to get revenge to all the suffering he had cause him and his kids.

Jack was about to lunge at the man when he bared his teeth in gleeful grin, "Would you like to meet my new Queen, Colonel?"

Realisation hit Jack as he deflated, Apophis turning slightly towards an entrance that was draped over with a scarlet veil. Jack's eyes fixed on the drape as it moved, the Jaffa stood at the curtain pulling it across. His heart was pounding in his chest as he whispered a soft prayer, "Please... not yet..."

A woman stepped into the room escorted by two Jaffa. She was dressed in typical Goa'uld style clothes, skimpy, but unusually, white. The extremely unusual thing was the woman dressed in the clothes. Her golden hair was the same, her body was the same, but her eyes were different. They held a bizarre, bemused expression. The woman Jack knew, the woman Jack loved, was no longer there; although Jack could also tell she wasn't a Goa'uld… yet.

He stared at her and his heart stopped, his breath having been taken away the moment she stepped into the room. She had moved gracefully, no longer hobbling slowly with crutches helping her to make every step. Her skin was golden brown, no longer showing the signs of her sickness. She looked so beautiful that Jack was speechless and for one moment forgot completely where he was. He just stared at her, tears prickling in his eyes.

She stared back at him in confusion, as if she should know him, but didn't, her small frown crinkling her perfect skin. Her eyes never left him as Apophis walked over to her. He spoke sickly, "Isn't she beautiful?"

Jack felt anger suddenly explode within him as his situation came flooding back. Apophis had taken her. Apophis had put her mind in Megan. Apophis had taken her body and made whatever part of Sam was left into his Queen. And it was Apophis who stroked a hand down Sam's bare back grinning with what could only be interpreted as 'Ha Ha I've got your wife' or as close to the Goa'uld equivalent you could get! Jack began to fight wildly against the Jaffa holding him, "You Son-of-a-bitch! Let her go!"

Apophis smirked nastily, "Take him to the cells!"

Jack shouted to her, his eyes watery, struggling uncontrollably as the Serpent Guards dragged him from the room, "SAM! IT'S ME! IT'S JACK! FIGHT IT, SAM! DON'T LISTEN TO HI-…!" The doors slammed behind them as her blue eyes didn't move from the spot he'd been in moments ago.

Kephni turned to Apophis slowly as she whispered, "Who was that man, My Love?"

Apophis dismissed her question with a nonchalant wave of his hand in the direction the man had been taken in, "He is one of the prisoners. He is of no importance…"

She could tell he was lying. He always looked at her face when he spoke to her, but he had avoided her eyes then. He was lying...

"That name he screamed was familiar," she said persistently, "He called me 'Sam'."

Apophis spoke to her in a menacing tone, "Sam is the name of their leader. We tortured him to death long ago. That man has obviously lost his mind from the torture. He is of no importance." Apophis spoke silkily again, removing the threat from his voice, "Now come with me and we sha..."

"He knew I was female and he didn't look like he'd been tortured…" She interrupted, not allowing this to be forgotten as something flickered in her mind. She turned to Apophis, speaking slowly as her only memories of her past seemed to float up from the dark recesses of her mind, "His name is... Jack. Jack... O... O'Neill. Sam was his 2IC. Sam is his… his wife..." She stopped in shock as she realised, pulling her hand from his and taking a few steps backwards, "I am Samantha O'Neill!"

Apophis's face contorted with what looked close to anger, "Jaffa Kree!" She felt hands clasping her arms, she struggled as she heard Apophis say something in Goa'uld and something hard hit her around the head.

Å

As Jack was thrown back into the cell, Daniel and Teal'c watched him in silence. His body made a soft thump as he hit the stone floor. He let out a soft groan as the wind was knocked out of him for a moment, the rusty hinges on the bars squeaking as the Serpent Guards closed and locked it again. After they'd gone, Jack lifted himself off the ground and walked over to them as they waited for the answer to their silent question...

Jack never looked at them as he faced the wall placing his hands flat against the icy stone. He lowered his head, pressing his forehead on the stone between his hands, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds. He sighed painfully and then whispered his voice hoarse and unusually shaky, "He's got Sam..."

"Oh God! Is she alright? Did you see her? I mean, is she... alive?" Daniel asked in quick succession as the man collapsed against the wall and slid back down to the cold floor.

Jack stared at them and spoke slowly, obviously in shock and pain at what he'd just witnessed, "I don't know how, but that's her body and... and it's alive."

Daniel spoke softly, in absolute shock, "That's impossible...!"

Jack snapped at the man, "Daniel, I think I know what my wife looks like!" He took a deep breath before he murmured, "She's his new Queen."

"I didn't mean it's impossible for it to be her! I meant that how can she be alive if she has no... no soul?" The rhetorical question was left hanging for a few moments before Daniel spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, "Well, it makes sense that Apophis would make her his queen. He did tell us when we were turned into teens that she'd make a good queen..."

Jack sighed sadly, "She's not a Goa'uld yet, but she doesn't know who she is."

"How are you sure of this?" Teal'c asked as he stared out of the metal bars of the cell.

Jack gave a slight shudder, "For a start she wouldn't have let them dress her up like that, secondly, she would've been fighting like crazy and thirdly, she wouldn't have let Apophis within ten feet of her. Not to mention we think that her... consciousness is in Megan..."

Daniel winced and then nodded, "So, she doesn't know who she is?"

"Not a clue," Jack spoke, his voice dull and lifeless; the man obviously still recovering from the shock of seeing his 'dead' wife, "And soon he'll implant her with a snake and she'll totally cease to be the Sam we know, if she's not already lost to us."

They sat in silence for a moment before Daniel jumped up, "Jack!"

"What?" Jack looked at him in shock.

Daniel thumped his fists on the wall, "We've got to get her out of here!"

"I know that, Danny…"

"No. We have to get her out of here NOW! You don't understand!"

"You don't know how often I hear…" Jack paused and then spoke slightly worried, "Daniel?"

"A Harcesis child! Apophis wants a Harcesis child! That's why he made Sha're his wife, that's why he has Sam!"

"Daniel Jackson is most likely correct, O'Neill. Apophis most likely procured Samantha O'Neill for such a reason. Also his anger with you and Samantha O'Neill would also give the impression that his actions are a means of revenge."

Jack pulled a hand through his hair, "Well, this makes things more complicated."

Å

As her eyes opened she wondered where she was. She looked around confused. She couldn't remember who she was or... anything. Her mind was blank and she glanced around fearfully like a trapped animal, unsure of whether she was safe or in jeopardy.

A face leant over hers. She recognised it vaguely. The man spoke as his eyes glowed, "My Love, you have awoken."

"Who are you?"

The man smiled a pearly white smile, his almost metallic voice speaking gently, "I am Apophis and you are my Queen, Kephni."

That sounded familiar as well. Kephni nodded, "I am."

The man grinned and Kephni suddenly felt a wave of dislike for the man although it was replaced with her love for him.

He held out his hand and helped her up from the bed. As she clasped the blanket around her naked body, she looked around. She was in a golden temple filled with deep blood-red drapes and furnishings. The room had a heavy stench of incense and was hazy through the slight smoke billowing from the candles, Kephni assumed were the source of the rich smell. As she glanced around the room her eyes fell on a tank. She shivered at the sight of the serpent-like silhouettes squealing from behind the frosted glass, half hidden by a scarlet curtain.

He spoke to the few women in the room, "I wish you to take my Queen to her room and dress her in her usual attire," he turned and gave her a smile, "And then my Queen will join me in the throne room."

The women bowed, "Yes, My Lord."

As Apophis left Kephni felt slightly awkward and confused. She loved him greatly, but somewhere in the back of her mind she felt a great hatred and disgust for him.

The women dressed her in a dressing gown and led her to her chamber. It was a beautiful room, filled with fiery drapes and golden ornaments, very similar to the temple, except more suited for her to live in. The woman sat her on the soft sheets of her bed and then helped her to adorn her robes. They were also very beautiful, but unusually white compared to what she'd already seen.

After she was fully dressed, they led her to the throne room. Apophis was stood speaking to two men in a familiar language, though she couldn't place what they were saying.

The men were old and she assumed they were some of Apophis's advisers. One man was extremely tall and thin with a long wispy grey beard that would've served for a scarf! He had big bushy eyebrows and dark, formidable eyes that even though they were light blue in colour almost turned indigo from the cruelty in them. The other was shorter and stockier. He had dark brown eyes and a stern face although for some reason Kephni did not see the same hatred and cruelty in his face as she did in the other man's. He was balding, but the hair he did have was dark brown.

She watched their conversation curiously for a moment before Apophis turned to her. He smiled and his eyes looked her up and down before he spoke her name, "Kephni."

He dismissed the advisors as she spoke, "My Lord Apophis," she bent her head respectfully as he walked over to her. He lifted her face up so she stared into his. He stroked her cheek gently as he spoke in his low metallic-like voice, "Would it please you to be led around my impenetrable fortress, My Love?"

She spoke devotedly, "Yes, My Lord."

He closed the gap between them and began kissing her tenderly, before he spoke in that language. Six Jaffa came over and stood by their sides. Apophis took her arm and said, "I shall show you the power of my indestructible fortress."

Å

Kephni was led all around the base and there was only one point when they stopped. It was at the top of a flight of stairs that led downwards, underground.

Apophis spoke in an undertone to the guards and then they walked down the steps. Kephni felt an unusual feeling in the pit of her stomach as they stepped into the cold, torch lit dungeon. She past cells with up to six tortured and mutated men within. She felt sick and yet she felt a strange amount of pleasure from witnessing the suffering of the prisoners. They walked past more cells as Apophis told her what the prisoners had done to deserve punishment. Kephni felt herself hating the men in the cells.

"Sam?"

She past a cell and looked inside, as the man spoke to her. Three men were in there the one who'd spoken stepped forward. The torchlight illuminated his kindly face. He wore glasses and was staring at her with anxious blue eyes. He spoke a small smile on his lips, "Sam, it's me. Daniel. Remember?"

As another man joined him at the bars, she realised she knew them. No names or who they were, but she knew they were her friends. The other man stared at her, "Samantha. It is I, Teal'c. Do you not recall us?"

Apophis spoke venomously, spitting at the men in the cell, "My Love, these traitors kidnapped you and tried to harm you. I locked them up and their leader was tortured to death."

She stared at them for a moment and then took a step away from the bars. She glared at them as though they were lepers; "I refuse to stay in this disgusting place any longer! My Lord, take me away from these repulsive prisoners!"

The look on the two men's' faces was that of disbelief and the man with glasses murmured, "You've got to remember, Sam. You have to get out of here. We don't care if you leave us here. Just get out!"

She walked away with the guards and then glanced back at the cell. There was now one more man by the bars. She knew him more clearly than the others. She did not know who he was or why he stared at her. She stopped dead and watched him for a moment. He didn't say a word and just stared back. His dark eyes spoke to her. Volumes and volumes in one glance, though she could not understand the feelings in her heart as she read that look. He released a pained and heartbroken sigh and continued to stare at her, his dark eyes shimmering more than usual, as Apophis grabbed her arm and almost dragged her up the flight of steps and out of the dungeon.

He pulled her chin so she faced him fiercely, "Kephni, why did you stop?"

"Those men frightened me…" She lied and then stared at the floor as she said, "I want them moved to the lowest dungeon and to be tortured well!"

Apophis's horrible grin returned and she could see slight relief in his cold eyes, "I shall have them moved immediately. They are already being tortured well, so there is no need for you to worry, My Love. They will suffer."

She spoke in a cold, alien voice that was not her own, "Good."

Å

"Jack, will you stop that? We're already going to be tortured; we don't need to pay damages for the holes you're burning in the floor!"

Jack stopped pacing and collapsed by the wall, "While we're down here, Apophis could be doing… anything to her. I can't just sit here!"

He jumped up and thumped his hands on the bars. There was a loud, resounding clang that echoed through the prison making their neighbours scream and moan even louder for a few moments before they all calmed down again.

Jack laid his head on the bars and closed his eyes as Daniel spoke firmly, "Jack, rest. We're going to need a whole lot of energy to get out of here and we're barely fed anything so we need to conserve what we get. Try to get some sleep."

Jack spun around and there was a slight fear in his eyes, "I don't think I can sleep, Daniel."

Daniel knew what thoughts must be haunting his friend, as they were probably similar to the ones that plagued Daniel. Yet another woman Daniel cared about was being used by that Monster and he was locked in this cell. Useless.

He spoke, trying to tell Jack with the tone of his voice he felt the same, "Then don't. Just sit down for a while."

Jack collapsed in a heap and let out a small sigh. He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them as he stared through the bars at one of the flickering torches.

Daniel sighed. He obviously hadn't been the only one to notice the entry laceration at the side of Sam's neck when she'd passed, not to mention her behaviour was pretty typical for Goa'uld.

The strange thing was it hadn't healed and she'd been speaking normally. Also Daniel could've sworn he'd seen recognition in her eyes as she'd stopped by their cell. Then of course she'd spoken in a disdainful tone that had been all too familiar though she had not spoken with the voice of a Goa'uld.

Apophis had begun to lead her away, when Jack stepped up to the bars. Sam had turned to look at him and she'd just stopped dead for a moment staring at him before she was tugged up the stairs.

Daniel pulled a hand through his hair. She definitely had that thing inside her, but something told Daniel it didn't have full control of her and that something of Sam must still be in there. Daniel wondered if she knew who she was. He doubted it. Apophis must've found a way to transfer all of Sam into Megan's body. How and when, no one could know.

Problem with that theory was that when she'd seen them she'd stopped. When Daniel had said her name she'd turned to look at them. She at least recognised her name although maybe she didn't realise it.

'So Sam is still in there…' he thought to himself. He glanced at Jack, eyes closed and obviously feeling useless, a feeling Jack O'Neill hated above all others. Daniel watched his friend as a thought came to his head, 'And she still knows who she's really in love with.'

It was most likely Apophis had just subdued the memories and then implanted her with the Goa'uld, although the Goa'uld hadn't taken control, which was strange. Daniel couldn't explain why it hadn't. There would've been no resistance from Sam as she hadn't the faintest idea who she really was.

Daniel's musing was interrupted as some Jaffa opened their cell. They walked in and fastened their wrists in heavy manacles. They didn't speak as the Jaffa took them from the cell.

They were led away from the staircase leading up to the main part of the fortress, and dragged to the other end of the dungeon. There was a pitch black stairway that led down. Daniel glanced at Jack fearfully. Daniel could see that Jack was scared, if only slightly. His jaw was gritted anxiously, but there were no other signs and Daniel could tell it annoyed the Jaffa slightly.

They were led down as one Jaffa walked at the front with a flaming torch. It didn't seem to be able to light the complete darkness and instead seemed to lift the impenetrable gloom slightly. Daniel stumbled down the last few steps, but was kept upright by the iron grip of their captors.

He noticed about five deserted cells, all filthy and so dark that he didn't think any light could penetrate it. The Jaffa opened three different cells and Daniel felt himself panicking. They were being separated.

He watched as Jack and Teal'c struggled, but neither was successful. They were all thrown into the cells and the bars were closed with a deafening clang that ripped through the silent shadow.

Apophis's First Prime stepped up to his cell and locked the door with the large bunch of keys that hung from his belt next to his Zat gun. He grinned nastily, "Our Lady, Kephni, ordered that you were to be locked in the lowest dungeon and tortured."

Daniel could hear Jack say, "It doesn't matter. That's not even Sam, so why should we care?"

The First Prime laughed, "Soon she will no longer exist. Nothing of the host survives. I must say it is a pity that she was taken by our lord as a host for his Queen. She is most desirable and, as First Prime, it would be my duty to 'care' for your wife, O'Neill. Maybe, I could've arranged it so you could've watched!"

Jack didn't speak, but Daniel could almost feel the air heating up. The First Prime laughed again and, with the usual command, him and his Jaffa left.

Daniel felt himself blessing his stars they'd left a torch. He sat by the bars, as close to the torch as he could get and pulled his arms around him. It was cold down here, not to mention extremely creepy.

Daniel heard Jack's voice again and realised Jack was in the cell to his left and Teal'c in the one to his right. He spoke his voice echoing, "Daniel, try and get some sleep. I know it's hard, but if that guy's right and we are going to be tortured…"

"Yeah," Daniel murmured back. He then said extremely quietly, "Night Jack."

"Night Daniel."

Å

Kephni sat in her chamber waiting for one of the Jaffa to ask for her to be taken to her Lord's room again or maybe to a room to be on her own. The thought sickened and frightened her. She knew now that she was not in love with Apophis and that in fact she loathed him.

He had tried to give her a child, but it hadn't worked and now he was furious with her. She'd seen one of his advisers, the shorter adviser, trying to tell Apophis that it might be better to lock her up in a room for a few days as she had taken something to prevent her becoming with child and it would wear off in that time. Apophis had been angry with the man although he had agreed.

The adviser had seemed familiar and this morning he'd come and given her something to eat. He'd treated her with the proper respect and courtesy, but there had been something about the older man that was awfully familiar.

That wasn't all that was in her reeling mind. She wondered why her voice had changed when she'd spoken the day before. It had become harsh and hadn't sounded normal. It had sounded cruel and something told her that it was bad. That voice was still there, in the back of her mind, taunting her and threatening her. Kephni realised she'd first heard that voice when she'd woken up not knowing who she was that morning.

She tried to shake the fears from her mind, as the larger her fear or anger got, the louder the voice would get.

Kephni stood up from her chair and stared at her reflection in a mirror. She wondered if she really was beautiful, as Apophis had said. She was wearing strange clothes. Unlike most of the people in this place they were not gold and red and other fiery colours. Instead she wore white and silver.

The clothes were revealing to say the least. Her back was bare as were her long legs. Her cleavage seemed to be on show and she guessed that was the idea. Her long flowing white dress touched the floor and fastened around her neck. On her wrists were silver bracelets and around her neck was a dainty silver pendant with a large, but familiar symbol dangling at the end. She had seen it many times in this fortress and guessed it was the sign of Apophis. Encircling her head was a delicate, silver chain and a thick, but equally as delicate, silver belt was fastened around her hips.

She stepped away from the mirror and looked around the extravagant décor of the room. There was so much finery and objects of value and for some reason 'the voice' was extremely attracted to the things. Kephni couldn't really care less for fancy belongings. For some reason, they were not important to her.

And suddenly, her thoughts turned to the men in the prison and especially to that one man who'd stood by the bars as she'd turned back. There was something different about him. The other two she knew were precious to her, but the third… She couldn't describe the feeling she'd had when she'd seen him. Her heart had been twisted with concern and grief. She cared for him a great deal and the idea of them being tortured as she stood there made her nauseous...

It was then the adviser entered followed by two Jaffa who stood outside the door. She turned to him as he spoke, "My Queen."

She gave him a small smile and murmured, "Have you come to take me to my Lord?"

The man shook his head and said in the same voice Apophis spoke in, "No. You are to be sent to a cell and are to stay there for three days."

She nodded worried and murmured slightly fearfully, "Not the dungeon?"

The man smiled kindly, "No, my Queen. It is like your room, less magnificent and smaller though, but it is comfortable."

Unlike Apophis's voice he didn't speak brutally and Kephni wondered who the man was. When he spoke to Apophis his voice had that cruelness, but now as he spoke to her he sounded… different.

"You are to come with me immediately."

She walked towards the man and followed him from the room down the corridors. He barked an order nastily to the Jaffa who began to escort them. They did not speak, although she could feel the man observing her. She pretended to be oblivious to his observation as they finally reached a secluded wing of the fortress. It was a long corridor with many rooms branching off. The Jaffa stayed at the entrance to the passage as the man led her down the long corridor and turned a corridor. There were yet more rooms down here. He led her to one as he said, "The Jaffa are not allowed down here. It is forbidden."

Kephni knew better than to ask why. He opened the door from the panel on the outside of the cell. It slid open and then slid shut behind them as they stepped into the room. It was small, but there was a comfy bed and a chair. A window looked out over the beautiful planet, although Kephni knew she could not escape through it. There was a sheer drop below, not to mention it had a force shield protecting it.

The man spoke in an undertone, "I must tell you that I cannot free you from this place."

She looked at the man in shock. His dark eyes stared at her as he murmured, "I would if I could, but there is no way. Just as if you escape with your friends that are imprisoned in the dungeon, there is no way you can help me escape also."

She looked at him, "I… I… Who are you?"

She saw care and sadness in the man's eyes as he murmured, "A friend." He cleared his throat, "I am telling you this now. I am the one who slipped the drug into your system that prevented Apophis from giving you a child. I also lied to him. The drug has worn off now. I would give you more, but you are now immune…"

"Why are you telling me this?" She spoke desperately, "In three days he will try again." She felt tears in her eyes as she sat on the bed, "I'm terrified. I don't want to give him a child. I know what powers it would have." She looked at the adviser, "He will give me Harcesis and the child will tell him everything he wishes to know. There is no way I can prevent it."

The man looked awkward as he spoke next, "There is… a way."

She looked at him hurriedly wiping away her fearful tears, "How?"

The man walked to the door, a strange reluctance in his voice, as he answered her desperate question, "If you are already with child."

With that he turned to leave the room and just as he closed the door he added, "If you require anything or _anyone _ring the bell and I shall be sent to carry out your request." He looked at her sadly for a moment before murmuring, "I'm sorry, but it's the only way."

Å

Jack sat in an aching silence as the Jaffa retreated back up the stairway. He croaked, "Well at least Apophis still knows how to throw a good torture party."

A hesitant, faint voice from his also well-tortured neighbour echoed in the bone-chilling darkness, "Are you badly hurt?"

"No, I'm OK. A bit sore, but... OK..."

Teal'c spoke, the best sounding out of all of them considering his torture had lasted the longest and was probably the most gruelling, "I believe it is not the torture that has damaged you, O'Neill."

The Jaffa had spoken with a slight raise in pitch at the end as if it were a question. Even when Teal'c couldn't see him he could still read him like a book!

Jack sighed, "5 years, T. She's been 'alive' for 5 years and I never knew. I never realised. I thought she was buried in a cemetery. I never tried to find her..."

"Jack, we had no way of knowing. For all we knew she died in her sleep that night. There was no way to know that she'd actually been abducted and replaced with a perfect, but lifeless clone, that Apophis had separated her mind from her body and had taken over Thor's body temporarily, bringing your baby daughter back to life and transferring your wife's consciousness into her body, then whisking Sam's body away and implanting her with a Goa'ul..."

"Daniel, stop it!"

The anger, hurt and pain in Jack's voice were well noted by the Doctor and he realised how he'd been almost rubbing Sam's death in.

"Jack, I'm sorry... I didn't..."

"Don't worried, Danny. I'm OK. Just need to get some sleep..." Jack had blatantly lied through his teeth, but the fact he had didn't bother Daniel as at that moment the sounds of a Jaffa returning down the stairs made them all freeze.

Daniel spoke in a fearful whisper, "Surely not again. Not so soon."

The Jaffa stopped before their cells as a silent companion they had not realised the Serpent guard had had, stepped into the light.

It took all their ability not to gasp...

The man spoke in a cruel Goa'uld's voice, "Colonel O'Neill, you are to come with me."

His cell door was opened and the Jaffa came in to roughly get him up, but Jack shook him off and stood on his own, although his aching limbs protested. He was marched out of the cell giving Teal'c and Daniel a final utterly confused look before being led up the stairs and up into the main dungeon area where sounds of their talking could not be overheard due to the miserable screams of the damned souls locked away in here.

The man turned to him and spoke in his normal voice, "Hello Jack..."

Jack nodded to the Jaffa curiously as the man sensed his wariness. He laughed, "He's on our side. One of Teal'c's loyal followers. He's been undercover for a while. He was the one who provided information about Sam 3 years ago. I was sent to check it out. I came not realising until I arrived that it was her who had become Apophis's newest acquisition."

Jack shuddered at the thought before the man gave him a small smile, "I'm so sorry you have to go through this, Kid." He cleared his throat, "Let me reassure you, he only managed to revive her several days ago and there were problems with her remembering things. Four days ago, he succeeded in properly blanking her memory or so we believe. He tried to..." Jacob's voice trailed off as he gulped slightly and continued, "I put a contraceptive drug in her system so... he confined her till it wore off. I told him three days when really it was less than one. She's locked in a cell. She's confused and miserable, but hopefully when you get her home she'll improve..."

Jack looked up at the man as he murmured, "At least at the end of all this, I'll still have a chance to have her alive and well again. You hear about Megan?"

Jacob nodded slowly, "Apophis's plan details were leaked to me when I first started undercover here. I'm so sorry I couldn't contact home and tell you all, but..."

Jacob sighed slightly his voice trailing away at the thought of his granddaughter. He gripped Jack's elbow and began propelling him along again towards the main palace. Jack spoke surprised, "Uh Jacob. My cell is that way!"

"I know."

Jack spoke to him again, "That's the part I don't get. You see, we're going this way!"

Jacob chuckled, beyond ecstatic that Jack had made a crack at humour. He'd guessed since the last time he'd seen Jack almost 3 years ago, the man's hollowness had not changed. He'd been empty and broken every since Sam 'died' and it broke Jacob's heart to know that. Well, not really _know_ it, rather than sense it.

Jacob spoke quietly as they crept into the hallway, "I need to ask a favour, Jack."

"What?" Jack asked in a tone that said he'd do anything for his father-in-law.

Jacob spoke seriously, "You have to understand... I don't want to make you do this... I hate even having to consider making you do this, but you must understand that if we don't... Sam is going to be carrying a Harcesis before we know it."

"What, Jake?" Jack seemed to be even more desperate to know what it was he could do to help.

Jacob sighed ever so quietly as they turned a corridor into a small narrow one. The Jaffa stopped outside as they walked down it and around a corner and to a door.

He looked his son-in-law in the eye and murmured, "Sam wanted to see you."

"Sam or the Snake?"

Jake shivered slightly as for the umpteenth time the idea of his daughter's body being used against her will floated across his mind before he murmured, "Sam."

"Why?"

"I suggested it to her. It's the only way I can think of that can stop this whole Harcesis plan. She only had three days and this is the final day. I'm so glad it occurred to her..."

Jack interrupted, "Why now?"

Jacob shuddered, "Because tomorrow Apophis is going to try and impregnate Sam again and this time there won't be a contraceptive drug in her system..."

"So what do I do?"

Jacob smiled sadly, "You'll know soon enough."

Å

Jack stepped into the room and looked around the usual Goa'uld décor before his eyes were drawn to the one thing in the room that was not in scarlet or gold.

A woman dressed in white, with hair like gold and eyes the colour of a cloudless sky, sat in a chair near the window, staring out into the starry heavens above and crying. Her back was shaking with sobs and her breaths were ragged occasional broken with an almost silent whine.

The door shut behind Jack with a small clunk and his wife looked up in shock. Jack froze as did Samantha O'Neill, the both of them just staring at one another as slowly she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

She stared at him with her blue eyes and Jack felt his heart stop with a mixture of pain, joy and overwhelming sense of time standing still. Seeing her again, no longer being led around by Apophis had an effect on Jack. It finally dawned on him. She was alive...

"I know you..." She whispered with a slight confusion for a second. Jack didn't say anything unable to move or speak. She stepped closer hesitantly until she was a foot away from him. She spoke again in a whisper, "I know you..." She frowned slightly trying to figure out who he was.

After a second he spoke, his voice weak and shaky, "Why did you call me here?"

She stood before him looking unsure as she glanced down at her new attire. She was no longer wearing the dress and was now in the garments Apophis preferred her to wear when he was with her. They were also white and silver, but consisted of nothing more than underwear and a flimsy piece of white material fastened around her hips that was obviously supposed to be some kind of skirt. She was barely covered. When she was with Apophis she usually felt awkward, embarrassed and disgusted by the clothing, but now...

She glanced up at the man, but was unable to look at his face, knowing what she had to ask of him. His uniform was dirty and had been ripped in a few places showing that her orders for them to be tortured well were obviously being carried out. Her eyes rose slowly and before she could stop herself, her eyes were connecting with his.

A wave of emotion filled her as she stared at him and saw the longing, desire and... Love in his eyes. Love. Kephni was sure that that much love couldn't just be generated over night. She realised she did know him. Somehow she knew him and somehow she loved him.

She spoke her voice frightened and quiet, "I must stop Apophis from giving me Harcesis. The Advisor could only think of one way I can stop that..." She looked into the man's eyes and saw his desperation to help her and she knew she meant something to him. She meant an awful lot to him. She was important to him. She spoke faintly, her lip trembling, "I must already be... be with child..."

The statement dawned on Jack and he felt his eyes widening. I mean he could understand why Jacob had been worried he wouldn't help her. Truth was Jack was so overwhelmed with the situation he wasn't sure of anything. He stared at her and a tear fell from her eyes as she turned away from him, "I understand. Please leave."

"No."

She looked at him shocked and murmured, "What?"

"Sam, I... You're my wife."

She gawped at him in shock as she whispered, "I... I don't remember... But I realised I couldn't... love someone as deeply as I loved you if I'd only seen them for a split second... I knew we must've known each other before I can remember..."

Another tear dripped down her face as she whispered, "I'm so frightened. I just want to go home. Get as far away from this place as I can. I don't remember home or my family, but I know Apophis is not and never will be any part of it."

Jack immediately pulled her into his arms and kissed her head as she began to cry into his shoulder. As he touched her skin with his fingertips, it made them tingle and trembles spread down his spine. He could hear her whimpers, he could see her golden hair, could touch her silky, soft skin, he could smell that faint scent of vanilla that was Sam... his Sam.

After a second Kephni pulled back, her beautiful eyes fixed on his face, trailing over ever feature slowly. Her hand reached up gently and she touched his slightly stubbly cheek. He leant forward slowly and placed a tentative kiss on her lips. His eyes slid shut as he remembered the last time he'd kissed her, when she'd been on her death bed. She'd been crying then, terrified of dying...

He opened them slowly to find her looking at him sadly. As he stared at his wife, he realised how much he loved her. He seemed to realise it every time he stared into those eyes. She was so real; it was hard to believe... She was real...

Kephni took a step closer, her hands on his shoulders as she slowly removed the familiar green jacket with two familiar emblems on either shoulder. She looked back into his eyes as the jacket dropped to the marble floor with a small rustle. He moved even closer his body now pressed against hers as his lips found hers again, kissing her slowly, lovingly, but also with an odd sense of desperation.

Kephni felt tears still rolling down her cheeks. Not tears of disgust or fear that had fallen from her eyes during her night with Apophis. In fact she couldn't explain the tears that fell from her eyes. She couldn't explain the smile that came to her lips. She couldn't explain the way her heart seemed to swell and ache with an emotion she couldn't believe.

His hands trailed over her skin softly as she whispered to him...

He pulled back and stared at her in shock, his chest rising and falling slightly faster than was normal as he mumbled, "'Jack'... You... you just said 'Jack'. You remember my name..."

She hadn't realised she'd said anything, but now she looked at him... Memories. Scattered. Just images. Apophis torturing a teenage boy, the golden beam of a ribbon device aimed between his two dark brown eyes. A cabin covered in snow by a lake. Sat at a table across from him and arguing. An ultrasound photo of an unborn baby. A church. She was dressed in a long white dress as she kissed Jack. A small baby boy in her arms. A children's song she couldn't remember. Making love to this man. A hospital. People she couldn't remember crying and saying goodbye to her. Jack comforting her...

The images made no sense to her, but she understood. She had been together with this man. In love. Married... She stared at his careworn face as she saw tears accumulating in the corners of his beautiful chestnut eyes as he just stared back at her.

She began to kiss him again urgently as she whispered with a tearful gasp, "I know you!"

Å

After Jack had left her room, Kephni sat in the silence. Her skin was still burning to his previous touch, her lips tingling and her whole heart aching for him. She now had no trouble doubting he loved her and that for some unknown reason it felt like forever since he had last held her or kissed her...

She'd felt so safe as his fingers had gently caressed her skin. With so much pent up love, desire and pain that Kephni had been in tears from beginning to end. Apophis never touched her like that and her mind was now clear enough to know in no way shape or form did he love her...

"My Queen?"

Kephni's eyes rose as she realised the Adviser was stood in the doorway and probably had been for a few minutes. She'd been so busy thinking she hadn't realised he was there.

He spoke gently, in a caring tone, "My Queen, Lord Apophis wishes you to join him in his chamber tomorrow evening. Until then I suggest you rest..."

Kephni nodded, the deadline having been set for her to be sent back to the lustful nights of pain and misery at the hands of 'her Lord'.

The Adviser spoke in an undertone, "My Queen, did...?"

A quivering drop of liquid fell from her eyes as she looked up at the kindly Adviser, a wave of familiarity coming over her again as she whispered, "Yes. And I know I can no longer harbour a Harcesis Child for Apophis."

The man controlled a shudder, although not well enough for her to have not noticed. After a second, he replaced his courteous smile and bowed, "Sleep well, My Queen. I shall bring you your breakfast in the morning."

Kephni nodded as the door slid shut behind the man again. She sighed softly and crawled back beneath the covers of the bed, the smell of the man she loved fused into the sheets and pillow. She breathed in the scent as another tear fell and splashed onto the linen, soaking in rapidly and leaving a small wet patch.

Her fingers stroked the soft white material beneath her head and then hugged another of the pillows to her, letting her mind float away and allowing her memory to try and fight to be heard as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Å

She stood still as his lips trailed the skin on her neck. Tears formed in her eyes although she refused to cry, to show her weakness and allow him to realise his brainwashing had not worked. His smooth hands ran over her body, pulling down the straps of her bra. He moved around to face her, his eyes glowing and making her shudder.

He grabbed her face and began to kiss her. Suddenly, he was a couple of feet away from her holding a hand to his cheek where she'd struck him.

Apophis's eyes glowed again in anger, "Kephni, what is the meaning of this?!?"

Now he realised her treachery, although not completely. She took a stumbling step back adjusting her clothing as she growled in a hush tone, "Never lay your slimy hands on me again!"

Apophis was furious, a vein on his neck sticking out slightly as he grabbed a ribbon device. She tried to move out of the way, but the blast from the jewel at the centre of his palm caught her and sent her sprawling into the wall.

She was disorientated, her head spinning, as his hands grabbed her, his fingertips digging into her arms mercilessly as he dragged her to his bed. He threw her down as she struggled against him, suddenly feeling like she could be violently sick. Tears still streamed from her eyes as he used the ribbon device again.

She couldn't move and could barely breathe with the weight of his body crushing her into the bed. His hands caressed her body roughly and Kephni wished he was dead and that it was last night, Jack holding her and kissing her lovingly...

His hands moved to undo her garments when two things happened. One, she shoved him as hard as she could away from her and two, a blast of blue electricity engulfed his body as he clung onto the bed frame before it was swiftly followed by a second and his grip slackened, his bodyweight falling heavily over her again.

Kephni looked up to see the Adviser stood with the Zat gun aimed at Apophis's now limp form that pinned her down. She stared at the man in shock, disbelieving what he'd just done. She'd known he'd always been sympathetic towards her, but... he'd just killed his God. She spoke slightly breathless, "You... You killed him."

The man nodded as he hurriedly, and with a distinct look of hatred on his face, flung Apophis's body off her. He spoke urgently, "You have to get out of here, Samantha."

She replaced her white dress over her under garments and the both of them ran to the door. She spoke, "You have to come with me. We will set my friends free and we can leave…"

"No," he murmured and gave her a small smile, "I will be endangering you. I have been tagged and they can find me wherever I go."

She stared at him for a moment and murmured, "Who are you? Really."

He smiled caringly, "Someone who loves you." She gave a small gasp. His voice had changed to normal like hers! She stared at him confused as he murmured, "You have to go. Daniel and Teal'c are still in the lower dungeon, but Jack is now in the upper dungeon."

She nodded and as she left the door she murmured, "What will happen to you?"

"I don't know, Sam. I'll find a way back to the Tok'ra," he looked at her desperately, "Now Go."

The voice in her head was yelling at her in anger as she ran to the door and opened it slowly. She glanced outside and ran along the corridor. She glanced down the corridor and mentally blocked out the screaming in her head.

Kephni avoided the Jaffa as best she could as she made her way toward the prison. She reached the torch-lit dungeon and saw that Apophis's First Prime was standing on guard by the entrance. She knew that there were no other Jaffa in the prison and the adviser had told her that Jack had been placed in the higher dungeon, while the other two were still down in the darkness of the lower dungeon.

When he saw her he looked confused, but also she noticed something in his eyes that she also saw in Apophis's. The same look that made her teeth grit and her skin prickle with disgust. He spoke, his eyes roving over her bare skin, "My Queen?"

Kephni spoke seductively, "My Lord ordered me to come to you," she stepped closer and stroked a hand down his face, "You are to be rewarded for your services."

He looked amazed, but she kissed him hard. She felt like she wanted to throw up, but instead she moved her hand to his Zat gun. She shoved him out of the way and shot him twice with the gun. He collapsed to the floor with a small thud. She wiped the foul taste from her lips and grabbed the bunch of keys that hung from his belt.

Å

Jack was thinking. Jacob. Jacob had sent him to Sam's room. Jacob had sent him to Sam's room and he'd known that Sam wanted to become pregnant.

He shuddered slightly as he remember Sam's look of absolute fear at the prospect of Apophis returning to her. She had been terrified, horrified by it. She knew what Apophis was trying to do and she knew that, at least in her subconscious, the Harcesis child would be used by Apophis so he could destroy Earth and rule the universe.

Jack was about to attempt sleep, although he knew it wouldn't come anyway, when he heard a muffled thud. His ears pricked up almost like a dog at the almost inaudible sound and he opened his eyes. He heard small footsteps, not those of a Jaffa clad in heavy armour, descending the freezing, stone steps behind him. He crawled to the opposite wall of the cell so he could just see the bottom stairs to his left.

Like an angel the woman almost floated down the steps. Her white dress fluttered out behind her as her dainty white slippers touched the icy, stone floor. When he saw her face he almost felt his heart stop. She stood by the flaming torch as it flickered turning her flawless white robes to a pale yellow. He could see the fear in her eyes as she looked around the horrible jail. Her eyes scanned the darkness and she took a few steps forward.

Her eyes then fell on him. She dived to her knees in front of him. She stared at him for a moment before she stretched a hand through the bars and stroked his cheek as she whispered anxiously, "Are you alright?"

Jack just nodded, unable to speak, his heart stopping for a moment.

"They haven't tortured you, have they? Jack? Are you alright? Say something."

He nodded his head slowly, "They have tortured me, but I'm... I'm OK." He could see horrified tears shimmering in her beautiful eyes as her fingers trailed his face. After a moment she removed her hand and placed them both in her lap as she spoke softly, "Before I… break you out of here, I need to know who you are, Jack. Who you really are. All I know is your name and that I love you with all my heart."

He spoke in a hushed voice, "We came through the Stargate on a mission to rescue you from this fortress." Jack just spoke heartbrokenly, "You... died five years ago, but at some point Apophis must've taken you and transferred your consciousness into... our daughter."

Sam looked flabbergasted and absolutely bewildered, Jack having little time to explain everything, "We don't know what he did, but we got intelligence that you were here. We came here and were captured. Apophis called me and said he wanted to show me his new queen. He paraded you in and I knew you weren't a Goa'uld, but you didn't know who you were."

"I don't remember that," she murmured shocked.

Jack nodded and then continued, "The next time we saw you, was when you came down into the prison four days ago and I noticed… _that_…"

He pointed to her neck and he watched as she frowned at him confused and then felt along her neck to the laceration. She frowned, "What is it? I figured I'd just hurt myself..."

Jack didn't really want to be telling her this, but he had to. He spoke gently, "It's where Apophis implanted a Goa'uld…"

She spoke with realisation, "Those… serpents?" She gasped horrified, "I remember… I saw some in a tank in… a temple. I don't remember anything from before waking up in that temple that day I first came down into the prison."

Jack nodded in understanding before murmuring, "Yes. The serpents are Goa'ulds." She looked like she was going to be sick. Jack put a hand through the bars and tried to comfort her as he murmured, "It hasn't taken over your body?"

"No," she whispered, "But since I woke, I've had a voice in the back of my head and there was one moment when the voice took over. I spoke, but my words were not my own…"

Jack just nodded sadly and then whispered, "You have to get us out of here so we can get you home."

She looked at him and stood up quickly, fumbling with the keys. She found the right one and unlocked his door. He stepped out and nodded slightly. She flung her arms around him as she kissed him gently and murmured, "I was so afraid they would hurt you badly because of what _it_ said."

She was obviously referring to the Goa'uld. Jack nodded gently as she removed her arms from him and then grabbing the torch she led him down back into the endless dark with her other two friends were still imprisoned.

She moved to Daniel's door. The man was roused by the sound of the metal key in the rusty lock. He woke and stood up. He almost ran out of the cell to Jack and then looked at Sam. He spoke to Jack quietly, "Jack! Are you alright? When you didn't return…"

"I'm fine. Jacob left me in a cell up there. Are you OK?"

Daniel nodded as he then turned to Sam as she walked towards Teal'c's cell. The minute she went to put the key in the lock, she dropped the bunch. Daniel hurriedly grabbed the keys and unlocked Teal'c's door as Sam stumbled backwards clasping her head.

Almost as if he'd foreseen it, he knew what would happen next. Jack grabbed her and held a hand over her mouth, muffling the scream of pain that she let out.

Teal'c spoke in a hurried whisper, "A Goa'uld can inflict much pain in the host if it chooses…"

"Damn," Jack said quickly. He looked at the woman who was shaking in his arms. He pulled his hand from her mouth and murmured, "We'll get weapons and get out of here quick." He turned to Sam and spoke gently, "Are you OK to walk?" She nodded uncertainly. Jack turned to the others, "I'll look after Sam. You guys will have to do most of the shooting."

Daniel and Teal'c both nodded. Sam looked at him frightened, "Where are we going?"

"To the Stargate. We're going back home."

"Can they get this thing out of me?"

Jack looked at her and lied, "I'm not sure."

"The adviser told me his people could."

Jack looked at Daniel, "The Tok'ra can?"

"I'm not sure, Jack. I guess they cou…"

Teal'c spoke again, "O'Neill, we must leave immediately."

Daniel spoke, "W-wait a minute, Guys. What about Jacob?"

Jack spoke regretfully, "He's been tagged. If we take him with us… He ordered me to leave him. He said he had to stay for other reasons as well, but I don't know why. The Tok'ra will be picking him up in 24 hrs anyway."

Daniel nodded reluctantly as he and Teal'c led out of the room. Jack followed behind with Sam. He kept one arm around her bare shoulders, just in case she screamed again or collapsed from the pain. They reached the top of the stairs and Daniel took the First Prime's Zat and shot open the box with all their stuff in. Teal'c took his staff weapon and passed Jack his sidearm and a MP-5. He also grabbed a GDO and strapped it to his arm.

Jack held the MP-5 in one hand as he stared at his wife. She looked scared to death and she kept muttering and murmuring in Goa'uld. He turned to Teal'c, "What's she saying?"

Teal'c spoke gravely, "I believe she is conversing with the Goa'uld. She seems to be saying phrases to the affect of 'Leave me' or 'Let me go'." Teal'c frowned as Sam said something different. Daniel's eyes shot wide open as Jack looked at Teal'c, asking him to translate. Teal'c spoke, "She told the Goa'uld to leave her child alone."

Jack just nodded and grabbed Sam by the shoulders. He felt himself blushing and Daniel and Teal'c looking at him confused. Her eyes shot up in line with his as he murmured, "Stay with us, Baby. Don't let that snake win!"

She looked at him confused, "My name is Kephni."

"Ah crap," Jack murmured, "I'm Jack, remember, and your real name is Sam. We were captured. We're going home now, but we have to escape from this fortress."

She nodded slowly showing she remembered, "The Goa'uld wants to kill my child. She cannot. The child is too young. So she will kill me and immediately seek out another host."

Daniel and Teal'c looked at Sam in shock. Daniel turned to Jack and asked, "A Harcesis?"

Jack spoke quietly, "It's not a Harcesis."

Daniel looked completely confused as Sam murmured, "She will not hibernate and once the baby is a month old she can cause miscarriage." Tears rolled down the frightened woman's cheeks, "She will kill me before then."

Jack shook his head and fixed her with a determined stare, "She won't win, Sam. You have to fight it." She was trembling violently and Jack immediately clamped a hand over her mouth as she let another scream escape her lips. Jack held Sam close to him as he said to Teal'c, "Which is the quickest way out of here?"

Daniel spoke up, "There's an entrance about four corridors from here."

"It will be heavily guarded, O'Neill."

Jack glanced at his guns, "That's what these are for," he cleared his throat, "We'll try and get through the corridors without any fuss and then we'll take out the Jaffa at the front door. Another problem is the Gate."

"O'Neill is correct. I counted many scores of Jaffa around the Gate."

Jack spoke, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it…"

Sam tried to speak and so Jack removed his hand. She was slightly breathless from the pain and was gasping for breaths, "There's another way out of here…"

"What?"

She took another deep breath and murmured, "There's a ship hanger… second room on… on the right…"

Jack nodded and then whispered, "How many Jaffa?"

"I counted six," she took a deep breath, "If we take a small… trading vessel we can fly… to another planet…"

"And use their Stargate," Daniel supplied. He looked at Jack, "It'll mean we leave with less of a fire fight."

Jack glanced at his wife and nodded, "OK. Teal'c, lead the way."

They left the prison and reached the top corridor. They could hear serpent guards marching their way. Jack clamped a hand over Sam's mouth as he dragged her back into the shadows of the prison. She let out a much quieter scream this time that was hushed by his hand and almost drowned out by the whimpers and cries of the other prisoners. The guards passed and he removed his hand from her mouth as she put a hand to her head and began muttering again.

Jack nodded to Teal'c and Daniel who ran back up the stairs and checked the coast was clear. Jack helped Sam up the steps and then ran with the others to the hanger.

Teal'c opened the door and Daniel ran in and began shooting. Teal'c joined him as Jack and Sam ran in afterwards and after Jack sheltered Sam behind a huge crate he got up and began to shoot.

Teal'c and Daniel joined him behind the crate as Teal'c said between exchanged shots, "O'Neill… We must… close the door…" He shot again and his target fell to the floor, dead.

They continued to shoot and Jack looked down at his side, "Sam?" He saw his wife staggering towards the door. Three of the five Jaffa left aimed their staffs at her.

She spoke to the Jaffa, "Shoot them all! Protect your Queen!"

The Jaffa immediately began shooting back at the crates. Jack watched as Sam spun around pressed seven buttons on the door controls as the door closed and locked. She then fell against the wall as she collapsed to the ground with yet another scream of agony that seemed to pierce his very soul and made him shudder.

Jack ran to her and in the process shot down one of the Jaffa. Daniel managed to Zat two at the same time. Teal'c's staff claimed another's life as the other grabbed Jack from behind, a knife at his throat.

Jack struggled until the Jaffa aimed a Zat gun at the writhing woman on the floor, "Even if I am disobeying my orders, I will kill her. We can revive her, but you cannot. Move and I will shoot her where she lies."

Jack stopped immediately and the Jaffa span around so he faced Daniel and Teal'c, "Make one move and I will slit his throat." They both stood there as the Jaffa said triumphantly, "Drop your weapons."

There was banging on the door behind him and Jack knew the Jaffa would get in soon.

Daniel and Teal'c both dropped their weapons as the Jaffa laughed, "Say goodbye to your comrade…"

Another hand shot out and grabbed the guy's knife hand. Jack watched as the hand deftly snapped the Jaffa's wrist, grabbed his Zat and shot him twice. Jack turned swiftly to see Sam stood before him as she stuttered, "I d-don't think so, B-uddy."

She fell forward and Jack caught her in his arms. Jack could tell she was unconscious immediately and began to mentally curse Apophis with enough hatred to make him an official member of the Dark Side!

Jack turned back to his other friends. He saw Teal'c already running to a small cargo ship. He pressed some buttons on the side as a trapdoor lowered from the belly of the vessel. Jack hoisted the unconscious woman into his arms as he ran for the ship. He heard the door behind him open again and could see Daniel shooting at the Serpent Guards, who'd entered behind him, from the ship's trapdoor. He ran up the ramp and into the ship as Daniel closed the trapdoor. Teal'c was already flying the ship forward fast. Daniel took Sam as Jack ran to the controls.

Teal'c spoke, "They are closing the doors…"

Jack looked forward and could see the massive metal doors sliding together.

"Come on…" Jack muttered, "Come on…"

"Hold fast to your chair restraint," Teal'c said in his peculiar way as he span the ship onto its side and made it through the gap.

Jack stood up from his awkward position against the far wall and put a hand to his nose. His fingers were coated in blood. Jack immediately stared up to the ceiling and grabbed a tissue from his pocket. He ripped off two large pieces and stuffed them into his nostrils.

Teal'c asked as they shot through the air, "Is your nose damaged, O'Neill?"

"Nah," Jack said stuffily, "I fink ids jusd a nose bleed, Deal'c."

"Then I must ask you to use the ship's weapons and shoot the gliders that pursue us."

"Righd," Jack said as he sat in the chair next to Teal'c and worked out which button was fire and how to aim.

There were five gliders on their tail, not to mention the shots that were fired from gunners on the ground. Jack watched as the gliders moved around on the screen in front of his. He waited for one to move into range. One of the gliders moved into the centre and Jack shot. The glider exploded taking another with it.

"Sweed!" Jack exclaimed at Teal'c raised an eyebrow, but continued with his flying towards the atmosphere.

Jack managed to shoot another in the wing. It spiralled down, out of view, towards the planet surface below, billowing thick black smoke following it in its rapid descent.

The other two gliders were much harder to shoot. They kept darting all over the screen never straying into the target cursor.

"O'Neill!"

Jack looked up to see another two gliders speeding towards them. Jack turned to Teal'c, "Go ub!" Teal'c nodded, as Jack said, "Ready… sdeady… GO!"

Teal'c shot up and Jack watched as the four gliders collided below them. They shot through the atmosphere and into space.

Teal'c spoke, "I am about to jump to hyperspace."

Jack grabbed onto his chair fiercely, "OK. Fanks for de warning."

Å

Daniel sat with Sam in the only sleeping quarters on the small ship. There were two single beds and Sam now lay on one. She had been shivering, but Daniel had managed to find some blankets which now covered her skimpy clothing.

He felt the jolt to hyperspace and had to stop Sam from falling off the bed. He covered her with the blankets again and sat next to her. After a few minutes she stirred and her eyes opened blearily. She spoke as she looked at Daniel, "Where's Jack?"

"He's on the Pel'tac with Teal'c."

Sam nodded slightly and then her eyes widened with fear and she let out a cry. Not a fierce as her screams before, but still extremely painful by the sounds of things. She clung to the blankets as she cried, "Jack!"

Tears were pouring from her eyes as Jack came tearing into the room. When he saw Sam, he threw himself down by her side as Daniel moved out the way slightly. His face was creased with concern. Daniel noticed his nose was bleeding and that he had to pieces of tissue attempting to stop the flow.

He spoke softly as he held her hand tightly and stroked her hair with his other hand, "Shh. Id's OK. I'm here. I'm here, Honey."

She whimpered through her sobs, "The baby! She's trying to kill the baby! Don't let her! Please! She's trying to kill my baby!"

The look of horror on Jack's face was confusing as Daniel wondered why. Jack stared at her as she let out another cry. She began to mutter in Goa'uld. Jack turned to Daniel whispering desperately, "Do you know off eny way we could ged rid off de Goa'uld? De Dok'ra are gonna dake ages to decide iff she could use whadever dey've god!"

Daniel shook his head as Teal'c yelled from the Pel'tac, "We are coming out of Hyperspace."

Daniel grabbed the wall as Jack supported Sam as best as he could. She ended up in his arms on the floor. She gave a soft moan and whispered to Jack, "I'm scared. I don't want to die. I don't want her to kill the baby."

He just nodded and whispered comfortingly, "Everyfing is gonna be alrighd, Baby. You'll see."

Daniel spoke gently, knowing as Sam burst into yet more frightened tears and clung to Jack as they sat on the floor, that it was time for him to excuse himself, "I'll go see Teal'c."

Daniel left the room and strolled swiftly to the Pel'tac. Teal'c spoke, "I am analysing this planet to determine if we can land there and if a Stargate may be present."

Daniel watched as Goa'uld writing appeared on the screen. Daniel nodded, "Air is thin, but breathable. It can sustain life."

Teal'c nodded as a diagram of the planet appeared on the screen showing a flashing red dot. Teal'c pointed at it as he murmured, "That is the position of the Stargate."

Daniel nodded, "I'll go tell Jack and Sam we're landing now."

Teal'c nodded as he went back to the ship's controls and began to fly towards the planet. Daniel wandered back to the room. The two individuals didn't seem to have moved much. Sam's chin now lay on Jack's shoulder as he murmured, "We'll get home and we'll find a way to get that thing out of you."

Daniel frowned slightly in confusion. As the man glanced up at him and he noticed the blood soaked tissues were now missing. So that was why he was no longer talking like someone with a severe cold.

Sam's shuddery voice was almost heart-breaking as she murmured, "You can't get it out." She looked at Jack and whispered, "I don't want the baby to die." She continued to cry as Jack pulled her into another hug and absentmindedly rocked her slightly as she curled up in his arms.

Daniel cleared his throat as Jack looked up at him. He spoke gently, "Teal'c's trying to land on this planet. It can support human life and from there we should be able to gate home."

Jack nodded and murmured to Daniel, "Have we got anything we could dress Sam in?" He glanced at her and murmured, "She's… uh… gotta be cold, not to mention I don't approve of my wife running around half-naked!"

Daniel smiled slightly at the joke, already seeing a change in his best friend. He sighed and shook his head, "We could give her one of our jackets, but the planet's warm. Summer in Florida warm."

Jack smiled as Sam's tearstained face looked up and she said, "Florida?"

Jack explained, "It's a place back home. Great. Disney land."

She frowned in confusion, "Disney land?"

Jack smiled, "You'll remember soon… oh! I almost forgot." He pulled off his jacket and pulled it over her shoulders, "Better?"

She nodded as she stared into his eyes and murmured fearfully, "What if I don't remember?"

Jack looked worried by her tone of voice, but put on an optimistic face, "Don't be silly! Of course you'll remember. And you and the baby are going to be fine. We're going to go home and get rid of the Snake and you can spend the rest of your pregnancy sat around in our garden eating ice cream and watching Ryan and Megan playing together!"

She smiled slightly, "Whatever ice cream is I know I like it." She spoke with child like curiosity, "Who are Ryan and Megan?"

Jack winced and spoke quietly, "They're our kids, Sam. They never really knew you. You... died giving birth to Megan and Ryan was only three. They still miss you very much though..."

She frowned slightly and closed her eyes letting out a moan of pain again. He instinctively cuddled her closer to him as the ship began to shake and tremble slightly at the turbulence the ship experienced as it flew through the atmosphere of the planet.

Daniel staggered back to the Pel'tac as it flew through the clouds a pale, almost white, sun floating above them.

Teal'c spoke, "I believe this vehicle has sustained damage to the fuel tank. You must help repair this by doing as I say as I land this vessel."

Daniel nodded and gave a small gulp, "Sure. What's wrong?"

"The fuel is extremely flammable and has overheated considerably. During the landing process, it will ignite and this ship will detonate. We must prevent this." Daniel's eyebrows rose as the Jaffa said, "You must close off the tank from the remainder of the transport during the alighting procedure. I will notify you at which instant you will do this."

"OK," Daniel said nervously.

Teal'c spoke as he pulled the ship almost to a halt, "Warn O'Neill of our landing."

Daniel ran back to the room to find Sam draped in a blanket costume. It was similar to a toga and Jack was fastening a piece of cord he'd obviously discovered somewhere around her waist. He'd made a hole in the top which Sam's head was poking through. It covered her better than the 'outfit' underneath.

Jack nodded to him when he entered, "Why have we stopped moving?"

"Teal'c needs to do something tricky. The gliders shot the fuel tank and it's seriously overheating. It has to be closed off during landing or else the ship will explode."

"Explode?" Sam asked frightened, her beautiful, confused eyes widening, "Explode as in…"

"Kaboom," Jack muttered. He looked at Daniel, "Anything we can do?"

"Teal'c told me I should help him to…"

Sam let out a cry and almost collapsed, but Jack managed to catch her before she hit the floor. Her scream still echoed around the room as Jack laid Sam on the floor gently as she began to shiver violently again.

Daniel continued, "I need to help him shut off the fuel tank from the rest of the ship at the moment he tells me to while he 'lands' the ship."

"I'm guessing shutting off the gas will mean…"

"We're gonna crash land."

Jack nodded, "Ah."

Daniel pulled a hand through his hair, "There's probably somewhere you can sit on the Pel'tac. You better look after Sam and see if you can't find someway to stop yourselves from flying through the windscreen."

Jack nodded as he lifted the still crying woman into his arms and followed Daniel onto the Pel'tac. They discovered somewhere reasonably safe to lodge themselves and, with Daniel's help, Jack managed to secure them as best as possible. The small inlet was just big enough for them and Jack wedged himself in there so that he would take the brunt of any damage caused to them if the ship crashed too forcefully.

Sam screamed again from agony and Jack went back to trying to calm her down. By the sounds of things the landing was going to be difficult as it was without any distractions.

He pulled her close to him as they sat huddled in the inlet. As they began the descent she whispered, "I don't want to lose our baby, Jack."

At the words 'our baby', Jack felt a fear like he'd only felt a few times in his life before. Losing Charlie and almost losing Megan had almost destroyed him. He didn't think he could lose this child as well... They had to get that damn snake out of her as soon as possible. She clung to him as tight as she could. He looked down at the woman. She was crying into his shoulder frightened, her eyes squeezed shut and her body shaking. The image made tears of his own form in his eyes as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, whispering brokenly, "I'll get that thing out of you, if I have to sell my soul."

She shook her head, her sapphire eyes staring at him hopelessly, "There is no way. We won't get to the Tok'ra in time. Soon she will take control and kill our child." She let out another piercing scream and then managed to murmur, "I have to… get her out…"

FINIS

Yet more Author's Notes: Part Two of Finding Strength is now finished! All you can do now is wait to discover Sam and Megan's fate! I know I'm evil, but so far school has not been treating me fairly! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the latest instalment and the FINAL part of this will be coming soon! Please, any reviews are craved! My muse may get more motivated if you guys review so... do! Thanks for reading.

Copyright (C) Sam I Am 2004


	6. Finding Strength Part Three

Finding Strength

By Sam I Am – PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that) also Daniel/Janet.

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, mild Daniel/Janet, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, probably AU fic as it couldn't happen in the series, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!

Sequel: To 'Vulnerability'! (Yes, I actually finished the sequel!)

Time frame: After 'Vulnerability'!

Summary: It's been five years since the end of 'Vulnerability' and things on Earth aren't going well. Just when Jack tries to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and perhaps get on with his life, the plot thickens... yet again!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. 'Candle in the Wind' is sung by Elton John and I altered the lyrics without permission (Sorry!) No Copyright intended, it's one of my favourite songs and it worked perfectly with the story! Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: The sequel has arrived! Oh it took me a while, but its here! I have always loved 'Vulnerability' since I began writing it in Yr7. Now I've finally completed the story and I can rest at night in the knowledge that the story that began in the days of my youth is now ready to be read by you guys!

Dedications: Hannah, I should stop praising you! But I can't! It's physically impossible! You are the greatest girly friend I could have and I will NEVER forget you. Love you, Hon. Also to all my friends and to all of you guys who have read my stuff. I'm glad to hear what you think. Thanks again.

The waiting is over... Finding Strength!

Å

**Part Six**

Daniel sat in the co-pilot's chair beside his stoic friend as the ship hurtled through the atmosphere of the planet. His chair shook violently as did most of the ship as Teal'c spoke, "Get ready to close the valve when I instruct."

Daniel gulped slightly and nodded to show he was ready. The Jaffa pointed to a button before Daniel. He couldn't help thinking how much this was like a bad Action movie. All they needed was the Evil bald guy with the fluffy white cat… Concentrate, Daniel!

Another air ripping shriek of pain sent shivers down Daniel's spine. He couldn't even begin to comprehend the pain Sam must be in, what with that Goa'uld messing with her head. If what Teal'c said was right the only reason the Goa'uld hadn't killed her was because it didn't have full control over her, but it could make her suffer.

As the aircraft continued to plummet through the planet's atmosphere, Daniel realised he needed to get a grip of himself. This was backed-up when Teal'c spoke anxiously, "Are you able to do this, Daniel Jackson?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

Teal'c spoke, trying to keep Daniel alert whilst steering the vessel through the clouds as it jerked and shuddered due to turbulence, "You must try and ignore Samantha O'Neill, however torturous disregarding her is."

Daniel nodded his finger hovering over the correct button. The ship began to get very hot and Daniel could feel beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. Yet another unfathomable agony burnt through Sam as a scream was ripped from her throat. Daniel felt memories of Netu coming into his head. The heat and the scream of agony seemed to be distracting him. That was the problem the exposure to the hand device in the torture had had. His concentration was at an all time low. All he wanted to do was sleep. It was so warm…

"Daniel Jackson!"

Daniel jolted upright, his eyes opening swiftly. He spoke apologetically, "Sorry."

The drowsiness and lack of concentration were temporary, but he had to concentrate. If he didn't, they would all die. The ship was shuddering violently as they left the clouds. Daniel's teeth chattered together as he fought to stop his hand from touching the button too soon. After a few moments a red warning light began to flash and a Goa'uld Warning filled the air. The heat was almost unbearable and Daniel was shaking so hard he wouldn't be surprised if his brain was now scrambled like an egg.

Daniel stared at the approaching canopy before them as Teal'c yelled over the din, "Now!"

Daniel pushed the button as the ship began to hit the treetops and then hurtled downwards into the ground with a huge jerk and a flurry of soil spraying up from the ground. The screens and all the power switched off and the ship was sent into pitch black.

After a few seconds of confusion, Daniel spoke faintly, "Teal'c? You OK?"

From beside him came the familiar voice, "I am well, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel turned so he was looking behind him. The ship was sticking out of the ground so when he looked behind he was actually looking slightly upwards. He spoke worriedly, "Jack? Sam?"

Jack's voice came from the darkness, "My head's a bit sore, but I'll be OK. Sam's as well as can be expected, but the Snake's messi-…"

A cry of pain came from the pitch black and Jack's voice became an inaudible murmur. After a few moments he spoke again, "We have to get out of here."

Due to the fact the ship was sticking out of the ground at an awkward angle, it would be quite difficult to crawl out and open the trapdoor. Daniel spoke, "Don't move yet else you'll come sliding back down here with me and Teal'c."

Shuddery sobs could be heard from behind them as he heard Jack say distractedly, "OK," before going back to murmuring gently to his wife.

Teal'c spoke, "I shall attempt to climb up to the trapdoor and open it."

Daniel stared into the darkness behind and above him, "It's quite a steep slope, Teal'c. Be careful or you could slip down and hurt yourself."

"I will indeed take care."

He noticed as the shadow beside him unbuckled his belt and slid forward slightly so he was leant over the controls. He rolled onto his back so he was lying facing upwards. He grabbed either side of his seat and pulled himself forward, and then around the chair. Slowly the strong Jaffa began to walk forwards, holding onto the walls and hoisting himself upwards with his muscular arms. The ship creaked worryingly and the just visible figure stopped for a moment.

Teal'c spoke in Jaffa alarm, which was not very alarmed at all, "This vessel does not appear to be entirely stable!"

Daniel spoke nervously, "We probably haven't dug into the soil deep enough for it to hold the ship in this position for long. It's overbalancing slightly. The worst that'll happen is the ship with thud back down."

"I agree. I shall continue."

After a couple of minutes of grunts of exertion from Teal'c and cries of pain from Sam, there was a clunk and the trapdoor dropped open slowly, the pistons straining stopping the trapdoor from opening too quickly.

Hot daylight filled the cool dark. Though Daniel realised his glasses were lying on the controls smashed and broken, he could finally see a lot better.

He glanced back behind him. Jack and Sam still huddled in the small inlet. Sam was silent now her eyes closed which was completely disconcerting. She was still huddled in a ball and sat in Jack's arms as he watched her anxiously.

"Jack?" Daniel asked anxiously.

Jack spoke almost in shock, "She's out cold. The pain must've been terrible."

Teal'c spoke, yet again taking control of the situation. It was strange. Daniel was so used to Jack being the leader, but many things had changed since their time as SG-1... "O'Neill, you must help Samantha O'Neill to the trapdoor. Daniel Jackson, keep your chair restraint fastened. If Colonel O'Neill and his spouse join me the ship may be overcome by gravity."

"Right," Daniel muttered as he watched Jack get up grabbing Sam's limp body before she slid down and slammed against the controls, a fall that would most likely be fatal.

He watched as the man spoke with a strange tone of uncertainty and doubtfulness, "Do you reckon we could use the rope and hoist her up?"

Daniel looked at the man surprised as he continued, "If I tie it around her tightly Teal'c can hoist her out and it would probably be the best way to get her out. Teal'c can then rush her to the gate and me and you can crawl out of here in our own time."

"I take back ever calling you stupid or dense or well… anything!"

Jack smiled and then frowned at Daniel before turning back to Teal'c, "I'll throw you the end of the rope. Think you can catch it?"

Teal'c nodded, "It seems that during my absence from Earth and the SGC that you suddenly doubt my abilities, O'Neill." When he got no response, the Jaffa muttered as irritable as he could be, "It was an attempt at lightening the mood." The silence that followed his comment said it all! In what had to be the equivalent of a Jaffa sulk, Teal'c caught the end of the rope in his hand and immediately fastened it to one of the pistons on the trapdoor.

Jack tied the other end around his wife with as much care as he could. When he was ready, he stared down at the woman he loved. The woman he'd thought he'd lost realising for the first time that fate could still take her from him again...

"O'Neill?"

"I just... Will I see her alive again?"

The question was one not meant to be answered. He placed a soft kiss on her lips as he whispered, "Fight it, Baby. Please. Don't leave me again."

He stroked a stray strand of golden hair from her eyes as he nodded to the Jaffa slowly. Teal'c began hoisting the woman up gently and carefully as the ship began to creak and groan, debating whether or not it wanted to collapse.

Teal'c finally had Sam next to him. Jack spoke, his voice faint and full of pain, "Take her straight to the Tok'ra home world."

Teal'c nodded, "Once there, I shall send word back to Earth of our detour."

Jack spoke and Daniel could hear the fear in Jack's voice, "Hurry."

That one word sent the Jaffa into action. Teal'c hurriedly lowered Sam to the floor outside the ship and then climbed down the rope himself, before tossing it back in.

Teal'c shouted to them, "Both Samantha O'Neill and I will encounter you soon," before his heavy running steps began to fade as he ran for the gate.

The last two passengers of the Cargo ship sat in silence for a while before Jack whispered, "I can't lose her again, Danny. I've only just found her..."

Daniel spoke comfortingly from his position down at the front of the ship, "It'll be OK, Jack. The Tok'ra will get rid of the Goa'uld and, somehow, we'll transfer Sam back into her body."

Jack rubbed his eyes, either swiping at tears or blinking back tiredness as he whispered, "I hope you're right."

"Come on, Jack! I'm always right!"

Jack snorted at his friend's humour, which he appreciated a lot. After a few more seconds of silence, he grabbed hold of the end of the rope, gave it an experimental tug before murmuring, "Well, here goes nothing..."

Å

Teal'c ran as fast as his legs would carry him, Samantha O'Neill drooping over his shoulders. Ahead, his eyes finally fell on the Stargate in amongst the luscious green foliage, the white sunlight brightly illuminating it and showing it for all its wonder and glory.

He stopped by the DHD and lowered the unconscious woman to the floor with the utmost care before hurriedly dialling the Tok'ra home world as he wiped sweat beads from his forehead, the heat of the planet and the exertion of running with the dead weight of the woman causing him to pant slightly.

When the gate began to spin and finally create an event horizon, Teal'c released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. All they'd needed was for the Gate to be inoperative to make matters worse.

He lifted the woman into his arms and sped up the steps and through the gate, stepping out onto golden sand dunes staring out across a barren desert. Barren indeed. All there was to see was warm sand, blue skies and the burning sun of this world. He stood by the Gate as a certain Colonel's voice echoed in his mind, _'Now what?'_

Suddenly, figures appeared from rings that came up from the ground before him, showering sand around. The people were heavily armed and dressed in the usual Tok'ra uniform. Teal'c's eyebrow rose as he recognised a few members of the group...

"Jacob Carter?"

The older man shook his head at the Jaffa, "It's a long story, but right now I need to get that thing out of my daughter."

"Let me assist you, Selmac," said Anise as she beckoned Aldwin and two other Tok'ra Teal'c didn't recognise to lift the stretcher and walk over to the tired Jaffa. He placed Samantha O'Neill down on the taut material before he followed the Tok'ra to the rings and into the blue crystal tunnels of their base, far beneath the warm sand.

Å

Sam sat with her son in the living room watching Simpsons as Janet and Cassie took it in turns to monitor them. Sam let out a sigh, hoping to God that Jack, Daniel and Teal'c were alright. No word from them since they stepped onto that planet and it left her feeling worried.

She also felt hope, however small it was. A hope that they'd found her body that they'd worked out a way to get her back in there. It would be difficult Sam knew. Apophis had told her that only the stronger consciousness could survive. And Sam hated to say it, but Megan was not the stronger.

She looked down at the body she now possessed and wondered what they could do to fix this mess. Immediately, worry returned. She worried about her husband and her friends, she worried she'd never get out of this body, she worried that Megan wouldn't make it, she worried that even if she did get back into her body, Jack wouldn't love her anymore and most of all... she worried Megan and Ryan wouldn't love her.

Sam looked up at Ryan, Megan's body moving in accord. She stared at the young boy. He had barely spoken to her since that night when she'd finally awoken. The coldness in the way he treated her made Sam feel heartbroken...

A silent tear ran down her cheek and she looked away from her son and at Janet that sat watching her anxiously. Janet raised her eyebrows questioningly.

Sam swiped the salty tear away from _her_ cheek as she murmured in the childlike whisper of Megan O'Neill, "Nothing."

It was then the phone rang. Janet, strategically sat beside it, lifted it from its cradle in a millisecond. Her voice was desperate as she said obviously anxious for the safety of her own husband, "Hello?"

"Doctor."

Janet nodded earnestly, "General, any news?"

"They're all fine, Doctor. We were just contacted by Teal'c. They've got Sam's body. You're all needed at the base. ASAP."

Janet nodded and put down the phone before hurriedly getting them ready. Sam quickly pulled on the small pair of pink sneakers she'd discovered under the stairs as Cassie grabbed a coat from a peg and went to help put it on her when she dropped it, obviously realising what she was doing. Sam nodded slightly and gave a small smile of thanks as she pulled her arms through the child's black coat.

Å

"Jack, can we slow down?"

He turned to face his companion. The archaeologist's face was glistening with sweat and his cheeks were flushed from the heat of this planet. Jack sighed slightly, "Sorry."

Daniel caught up with him. He was slightly out of breath from the heat and the fast pace Jack had set. He wiped his eyes, obviously finding it difficult to see without his glasses and then smiled, "I'd be the same if it was Janet and Jonathon. You have nothing to apologise for. If it wasn't so hot I'd be trying to go twice your speed…" Daniel let out a whoosh of air from his mouth as he ruffled a hand through his hair, trying to stop it from being plastered to his forehead.

Jack nodded and pulled a hand over his brow, also wet with sweat. He sighed and then nodded to the trees nearby, "Let's sit in the shade for a minute or two."

They wandered over to the shade and collapsed against the tree trunks as Jack chuckled, "Should've asked Apophis for a few flasks of water before we left."

Daniel smiled widely, "Apophis! Hi there. Look we're just going to escape from your fortress with your Queen, shoot down half your guards and steal one of your ships and we were wondering if you could give us some water and food for the journey. You know… if it's not too much trouble!"

Jack snorted and then they rested in silence for a while. Daniel observed his friend, the older man unable to stop fidgeting. After a few minutes, Daniel murmured, "Come on. Let's get going again."

Jack's dark eyes rose to him in surprise as he murmured, "It's midday, Daniel. You're tired. We should rest a bit longer, at least till the sun starts to go down."

Daniel shook his head persistently, "I might be slightly uncomfortable walking to that Gate, but waiting here is killing you…" Jack's eyes lowered again as Daniel spoke gently as he held out his hand for his friend to take, "Come on, Jack."

Jack looked at the man's hand, sweaty and dirty and a small smile curved his lips as he took it and was helped to stand. He gritted his teeth in determination as he whispered, "Let's move out."

Daniel smiled, Jack seeing age in the man's features, "Just like old times." He slapped Jack on the shoulder as they began walking, "Just like old times."

Å

Her eyes fell on the man stood before her and suddenly she felt tears in her eyes, "Dad?"

He turned and when he saw her froze. He stared down at her and she saw his shoulders begin to tremble. His knees gave way and he fell to a kneeling position on the floor as the small child ran into his outstretched arms.

Jacob buried his face in her shoulder as he sobbed, "My little girl. My little girl."

The Tok'ra watched in silence as Janet's voice, husky with emotion, spoke quietly, "Sam?"

Jacob released her from his embrace as Sam looked up at her old friend, a woman who she usually was taller than. Janet sniffed slightly as she murmured, "There might not be much time."

It was then Sam began to recognise the other Tok'ra in the room. Aldwin, Per'seus and… Anise? Sam couldn't believe how much she had changed…

"Yes, Samantha. The later we wait the less likely the procedure will be a success."

Sam nodded still staring at the Tok'ra woman in surprise, "I understand, Anise."

The Tok'ra woman led them through the crystalline corridors of the Tok'ra Base before they entered a room. Two beds and some devices were set up in the room. Sam gulped slightly as her eyes fell on the figure lying in a bed already hooked up to the wires and breathing tube Janet had obviously provided before.

It was her body. Sam looked at Janet and then back at the almost corpse-like body, "Janet?"

Anise spoke up, "We have just removed the Goa'uld from her. She almost didn't make it." Anise then stepped closer to her, "We have no idea if this transfer will be successful. The technology is that of the Ancients and we have been studying it for some time. This will be the first time we have tried to put it into practice."

Janet spoke quietly, "It's your choice, Sam?"

Sam thought for a moment, suddenly becoming strangely aware of her daughter's presence within her. She stared at her body, lying before her and found the entire situation bizarre. It was a no win situation. If she stayed in this body, her daughter's consciousness would cease to exist and her husband and son would distance themselves from her. However, if she went through the procedure, Megan or herself or both of them could die and Jack and Ryan would have lost her and Megan all over again.

She sighed. It was worth the chance that her daughter could live, even if she could not…

"Let's get it over and done with," she said, speaking through her daughter's lips.

Janet nodded and helped her up onto a gurney. She linked her up to a heart rate monitor and other equipment as she told Anise to get the machine ready.

Sam's heart was beating furiously in her chest and she was nervous, but she sat their patiently and as calmly as possible as Janet put a drip into her arm. The small doctor then turned to the box beside her and pulled out a syringe and a bottle.

"Sam?"

She looked up at her Dad as Janet sucked up sedative and squirted a small amount out of the needle. He looked like he wanted to say something. He moved his jaw wordlessly for a moment before he whispered, "I love you, Sweetheart."

Sam nodded and then murmured, "Love you too, Dad."

Janet spoke sadly, holding the needle near the tube leading into her arm, "Are you ready Sam?"

She gritted her jaw as she whispered, "Yep."

Janet pierced the tube with the needle as she pushed the plunger of the syringe. The clear colourless liquid intermingle with the equally clear and colourless fluid in the drip. Janet released a long sigh, "Now we just have to wait."

They sat in silence for about 3 minutes until Sam felt her eyes beginning to close as a sudden terror filled her. She didn't want to close her eyes. She'd been forced into hibernation for 6 years and now she would be sleeping again, not knowing if she would ever wake up.

She looked over at Teal'c and Janet stood in the corner watching. Janet looked upset and Teal'c's arm circled the small doctor's shoulders. Sam wanted to speak out, make them stop this. She didn't want to sleep again. Not without seeing the people she cared about one last time.

She glanced at her father stood by the side of the bed as he turned to her. He started speaking, but all she could hear was a muffled sound. Sam stared at him, tried to grab his hand, but couldn't move. Her heart rate was slowing and her eyelids dropping as she fought to stay awake.

Suddenly, a Tok'ra ran to the doorway and spoke hurriedly to her father. He ran out of the door and Sam felt like crying. She began to panic, feeling claustrophobic, trapped in a body that was not her own. A body that was slowly shutting down into a coma-like sleep which she couldn't fight and there was no one to help her.

She stared at the doorway as sleep finally began to drag her into its darkened depths. Through her eyelashes, she watched the doorway as a shadowy figure appeared in the light. His chest and back were heaving as he'd obviously been running and he ran into the room throwing himself by her bedside. Her eyes focussed on his face for a split second, the rest of her vision a dim blur. He began speaking to her hurriedly although she couldn't hear a word.

His dark eyes told her everything she needed to know.

Her mind calmed and she realised why she'd been so terrified of sleeping. She didn't want to 'die' again without seeing his face before she did. Without him being by her side…

Jack's palm came into contact with her small cheek as her eyes closed and all feelings evaporated, the last thing in her consciousness being him... And that was all that mattered.

Å

1 month later…

Daniel sat half dozing on a chair in the cool crystal corridors of the Tok'ra base. He shifted to one side in his sleep and wrapped his arms tighter around himself. The man slowly sat next to him, letting the man rest for a few seconds. He let out a sigh and gently shook the sleeping man's shoulder, murmuring, "Daniel...?"

The archaeologist's head jolted up as his eyes tried to focus on the man as he fished his glasses from his pocket, "Hey Jacob."

Jacob gave a small sigh, "Jack still in there?"

Daniel glanced at his watch and with a sad sigh murmured, "Probably, he hasn't left her bedside for over a week now. I think..." Daniel hesitated, "This is the longest he's been in there without rest, Jake. He's getting more and more worried he may lose her again as every day passes."

Jacob spoke quietly, "That is the most likely explanation." He glanced at the doorway and murmured, "Do you think... I mean, could I go in there?"

Daniel hesitated before he gave a small nod, "He's not in a fragile mood or anything just... a little bewildered by everything. Not to mention, her appearance is slightly worrying..."

Jacob stood up slowly and smiled, "Perhaps you should get some sleep, Daniel. It's been a month and you've had almost as little rest as Jack has. Your wife wouldn't be too happy with you if you came back in the condition you are now!"

Daniel gave a small chuckle and stood with a yawn, "Yeah. You're right. See you in the morning."

"Night," Jacob replied as the younger man stumbled off down the corridor in search of a more comfortable place to catch 40 winks.

Jacob stood watching him retreat for a moment before he turned and slowly moved into the room. The first thing he saw was Jack sat hunched staring at the floor. The second thing he saw was the beautiful golden hair spread out across the white pillow, glinting dully in the ethereal blue light that emanated from the walls...

"Jacob?"

Jacob's eyes left the sickly figure lying beneath the blankets as they met Jack's gaze. The man dropped his gaze and glanced over at the bed, his eyes falling on the pale face and a look of shock and dread in his eyes, "No change."

Jacob moved over to his son-in-law and placed a hand on his shoulder, staring down at his granddaughter, "She'll pull through. She's a strong kid..."

Jack's eyes never left Megan's face and slowly he reached out a hand to tenderly pull a lock of her golden hair from her eyes as he whispered, "I hope so, Jake."

Jacob squeezed the man's shoulder comfortingly before sitting himself next to him and deciding to tell him why he was really here, "Have you been to see Sam yet?"

Jack didn't look up from the sickly child as he mumbled, "No..."

Jacob sighed, Selmac's voice trying to dictate how to talk, although Jacob was not going to allow any interfering on her part. This was a human problem and Jacob was going to try and fix it with all the human he had in him.

"Jack, I know this is hard for me... God only knows how hard it is for you! But Sam needs you. When she wakes up she's going to be confused and... and she'll want to know why you're not there when she wakes up. I know you are worried about Megan; I am too, but... Megan's already woken up, however briefly. She already knows you are here for her..."

Jack sighed and then looked up with tears visible in his dark eyes, "She's dead. She's dead and yet she's now pregnant with my child." He let out a small laugh, "God, my life would make one hell of a soap opera!"

Jacob was about to speak when a soft voice came from the 5 year old child, whose baby blue eyes were now open and blinking slowly, "Daddy?"

Jack turned to his daughter and wiped away his tears as he smiled a true happy smile, "Hey Kiddo. How ya feeling?"

"Tired," the girl said hoarsely, her eyes looking around drowsily as she tried to blink back sleep, "Where's Mommy?"

Jack made a strangled choking noise at the girl's question. The two men stood in a completely flabbergasted silence as Megan repeated the question, "Where's Mommy?" She looked between them confused by their silence, "Daddy? Grandpa?"

Jacob answered quietly, "She's still sleeping, Sweetie. How do you know...?"

"The last thing I remember was her telling me not to be afraid and just try really hard to open my eyes," the little girl whispered to her grandfather before she murmured, "Is she sick?"

Jacob looked at the expression of horror on Jack's face, obviously disgusted that the small child had been aware of what was going on when her mother had taken over her body. If Jacob wasn't a Tok'ra and saw the idea as perfectly normal, he probably would've had the same reaction.

He cleared his voice and spoke softly, "She is still unwell, but Aunty Janet is doing everything she can to make her better again."

Megan yawned and looked at her father through hooded eyelids, "Daddy, tell me about Mommy. What's her name? Is she pretty?"

Jack sat there trembling slightly before he took in a small breath and whispered with a sad smile, "Oh, she's very pretty. She... She's a lot like you."

The little girl's sapphire eyes lit up even through her tired features in a very Sam-like expression of happiness. A sleepy smile came to her face, "Like me?"

Jack gave a soft chuckle and messed up her straggled golden hair with his fingers affectionately, "Yeah. Same eyes, same hair, same little smile..."

The girl giggled softly, still obviously nowhere near full health, "Is Ryan here?"

Jacob spoke, "He's staying with Aunty Janet, Cassie and Jonathon at the moment. In the morning, Aunty Janet will visit to check up on you."

Megan nodded and yawned, her eyelids drooping as she obviously began to drift off again.

Jack smiled gently, "Go back to sleep, Sweetie. Me and Grandpa are right here."

Megan smiled slightly before she whispered faintly, "Mommy said that she's sorry and that she doesn't know if she's going to be OK."

Jack looked at his daughter shaken as her eyes slid shut and she dozed back off into sleep, her ordeal still leaving her weakened and drained.

"Jack?"

He glanced up at his father-in-law, the man returning his look with anxiety. His head dipped and he began to speak as Selmac, "I have always believed you were the most resilient of Tau'ri. SG-1 were the elite and as I am Tok'ra you probably do not trust by beliefs, but these you may agree with. I decided that SG-1 were afraid of nothing, but it seems I was wrong. Jacob and I both understand how you feel, but why are you afraid of your wife?"

Jack stared at Jacob as the question entered Jack's head. He couldn't think of an answer. All he could see was a teenage Samantha Carter running with all the strength left in her tortured body and diving between him and that ribbon device...

"Jack?"

Jacob was staring at him worried. Jack just cleared his throat softly, "I'm not afraid of her, Jake. I... I love her like... like... I can't even describe it... It's like waking up for the first time in your life. Like... you've been trapped in a cage and suddenly the bars just melt away... and you're finally free..."

"Then why won't you go see her? Why won't you sit by her bedside and wait for her to wake up? Your daughter will be fine, despite her weak appearance. Your wife however is the one who is in the most danger."

Jack's voice rose, and if Megan had not been lying there, Jacob was sure the man would've been yelling, "Because I don't want to have to sit there for the rest of my life! I don't want to wait and wait with my hopes up and discover that, for the third time so far since I realised I was in love with Sam, she is never going to wake up!"

Jacob saw the pain in Jack's face and the absolute confusion and vulnerability in his eyes. He had no idea what it must be like for Jack at this moment. Jack was right though. First, she'd been in that coma after sacrificing herself to save him. Then, she'd died in that hospital leaving him a widower and father to a toddler and a newly born baby. Now... Now she was lying in a bed on an alien planet essentially sleeping. She wasn't in a coma, she wasn't dead... She was just asleep. But no one knew if she would wake up. There was no way of knowing.

Jack swiped another tear from his exhausted eyes as he mumbled, "I don't want to be sat in the Infirmary looking at the woman I'd die for covered in wires and tubes. I don't want to be numbly walking down a hospital corridor after losing the mother of my kids. I don't want to be sat in that cold room watching my wife sleeping, pregnant with my child and hear that she will never open her eyes again."

"Jack, I know how much you've been through because I've been through it too," Jacob whispered, "But whether you like it or not, Sam is your wife. She'll wake up confused, disorientated and probably without any idea why she's pregnant! She has a daughter she has never really met and who doesn't know her, having spent the five years of her life motherless. She has a son who is equally ignorant about his mom, but who has wished for her to be alive again so many times that now she is he's bewildered and upset. Neither of you can deal with this alone. Sam needs you. And even though you don't want to hear it, you need her more than you need to shut her out!"

Jack nodded mutely and the two men sat in silence, watching the weak little girl sleep peacefully. Without a word, Jack slowly rose. He placed a soft kiss on his daughter's forehead and stared at her for a second. He tucked the covers over her small shoulders and then step by step headed for the door. He hesitated and turned back to Jacob Carter, dressed in Tok'ra uniform and sat in the Tok'ra chair watching him supportively.

"Watch over my baby. Call me if there's any change."

Jacob smiled slightly, "Nothing and nobody will ever hurt my granddaughter while I'm here, Jack. You can count on that!"

Jack gave a weak imitation of a smile, although it was poor. He turned back to the door and paused for a moment before he stepped out into the blue crystal corridor and began to slowly make his way to Sam's room.

Å

"Of all the unpleasant surprises!"

The Tok'ra woman turned to him, her eyebrow raised slightly, "Colonel, I am the only one who can work this technology..."

Jack just shrugged and walked into the room, his eyes finally falling on Sam. Horrifying memories surfaced of her lying dead in the hospital bed on that April morning six years ago... Sam looked so... cold. Her skin was almost translucent it was so white. Her hair was plastered flat with sweat from her face and was combed back. She looked so lifeless; he couldn't believe the sound of her heartbeat on the monitor Janet had set up. It was steady, slightly sluggish, but otherwise sounded normal.

Slowly, Jack made his way to the chair beside his wife and lowered himself into it, his knee aching dully. Couldn't the Tok'ra invest in central heating? It wasn't freezing, but it was pretty chilly down here...

Anise spoke again, avoiding his eyes as she began tinkering with a palm held device, "I am sorry for your wife's condition. I also apologise for not attending her funeral ceremony... I was on a mission... I hope Jacob Carter conveyed my condolences?"

Jack looked at the woman, dressed in grey, her clothing a lot more humble than the last time he'd seen her. Anise was... well, had been, a bit of a slut really. Now she was dressed in a grey dress, a lot less flattering, the skirt coming past her knees, the sleeves coming all the way down to her wrists and the neck line encircling her throat. Her blonde hair was slightly longer, just brushing her shoulder and was cut in a straight bob. She looked tired for a Tok'ra.

Jack suddenly felt a strange sense of guilt for being so horrid to her in the past. Alright, so she'd made a pass at him, not to mention had almost killed him on two separate occasions, but... Maybe it was the fact that his father-in-law was a Tok'ra that made Jack see them all in a much different light. Anise wasn't really that bad... she seemed so much different.

She looked up at him, waiting for a reply. He nodded, shaking away his pondering, his eyes sliding back to Sam, "Yeah... Uh... Thanks..."

Anise's voice changed to Freya's human tone, "You are uncomfortable with my voice?"

Jack looked back up at the woman in surprise, "No. Of course not."

Freya narrowed her eyes slightly as she looked at him before she smiled slightly, a small meek smile that Jack couldn't believe was coming from the same woman he'd known all those years ago. She gave an uncharacteristic chuckle as she said, "You have changed, Colonel."

"You're one to talk. And I'm not a Colonel anymore. Just call me Jack." he replied confused as to why he was having a friendly conversation with Anise/Freya! What the hell had happened? They were talking like old friends...

She sighed softly and continued to work. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while as Jack stared at his wife. His heart was aching for the woman, loving her so much. That night at Apophis's fortress, he'd tried to tell her how much he loved her, but he'd chickened out. He hadn't wanted her to have been slightly frightened away... He didn't really know why he'd been scared to say it; perhaps he'd been worried he'd lose her again or something... Maybe he thought not saying he loved Sam made it less true, which was a complete lie.

"You really care for her, don't you?"

Freya's voice was gentle and wistful and Jack glanced up at her again, slightly confused. She was staring down at Sam. She glanced at him then looked away, blushing slightly. She cleared her throat and her expression changed to a more stable one, less emotion visible.

Anise spoke again, "You have a very beautiful daughter. And also a son I believe?"

Jack, still slightly taken aback by the Tok'ra woman, nodded slowly, "Yes. Ryan."

"How old are your children? Jacob Carter has told me previously, but I do not remember."

Jack could see the conversation had become strained and awkward, but tried to ease the tension, "Well Ryan is 8 years old and Megan is 5."

Her head nodded and Freya began to speak again, obviously recovered from her past show of emotion, "I remember when I was growing up on Lhatiia. I was the oldest. I had 12 brothers and sisters." She smiled slightly, "My youngest sister was your daughter's age when I left to become a host..."

This conversation was so strange to Jack. He spoke quietly, "How old were you?"

She moved over to Sam, adjusting one of the Tok'ra devices as she spoke, "I was about 19 years of age." Jack realised how little she'd aged since he'd last seen her, well physically anyway. But in her mind and the way she acted she was so much more mature and mellow. It was a strange transformation and Jack looked back on the day he'd been glad to see her leave through the Gate with a strange sense of wonder.

She rubbed one hand over her eyes as she took the other chair beside Sam, finally stopping her tinkering. He glanced at her weary appearance, "Go get some sleep. If something happens, I'll give you a call..."

She nodded, her bluey-green eyes watching him in obvious confusion as she rose slowly. She inclined her head, "Good Night, Colone... Jack."

He smiled tiredly himself, "You too."

She left the room, her leather shoes making a soft almost inaudible tread as she left the room made of blue crystal.

Jack's hand found Sam's warm fingers. He gently squeezed her hand as he sighed softly, his other hand reaching to her face and moving a wisp of her unruly hair from her eyes, the strand conforming back into the brushed back style of her hair. He smiled softly to himself, when he felt slight pressure on his own hand, before it relaxed. Whether it was a reflex reaction or whether it had been Sam, Jack had no idea, but that small movement gave Jack hope. A grin burst across his face and he slumped back in the chair, his hand still holding hers gently as he sighed, his eyes fixed on the woman he loved...

Å

"Selmac, may I enter?"

Jacob turned to see Anise stood in the doorway. He smiled slightly and spoke in a hushed tone, "Of course. She's sleeping."

Anise returned the small smile as she walked over to the Tok'ra equipment, "I wish to check on the child before I go to get some rest."

Jacob winced slightly, "I only just remembered. I'm sorry about Jack. He's a bit grumpy at the moment. Hasn't slept in a while..."

"Oh no, Jacob," it was Freya that spoke this time, "He was... fine."

Jacob watched the woman, trying to place all her concentration on the devices although Jacob knew it was just her way of avoiding speaking. Jacob was slightly confused. Neither Jack nor Anise had seen or spoken to each other since the Zaytarc incident and Jacob was pretty sure Jack O'Neill still held a grudge against the woman for what had happened.

"He was... fine? Are we talking about the same man?"

Freya gave a soft laugh, "It appears so. At first, he still seemed to hate me, but he does no longer, I believe. We even had a conversation of good length considering..."

"Freya..." Jacob said as it dawned on him. The woman looked up at him, her eyes widening slightly as they stared at each other levelly.

She dropped his gaze and after a moment Anise spoke in a hurried voice, "I must get some rest."

"You're still in love with hi...?"

Anise interrupted abruptly, in a quiet but almost angry tone, "I do not wish to talk about this..."

She strode out of the room as Jacob followed her, "But I do. Do you think anyone can accept how much you've changed as just down to you?"

She didn't reply and continued to walk down the corridor and into her quarters. Jacob stopped in the middle of the corridor, deciding not to follow her. She needed time to think. He trudged back into his granddaughter's room, retaking the chair beside her.

"Selmac, the Tau'ri are here. They have just gated to the surface."

Jacob had been a bare millimetre from sitting down when he stood up again and turned to Aldwin. Selmac spoke, "Teal'c?"

The young Tok'ra nodded, "Yes and Dr. Jackson's wife. I shall go meet them. Do you wish to accompany me?"

Jacob glanced at the tiny girl beneath the covers, sleeping peacefully, "I'll meet them, but Aldwin I want you to stay here with my granddaughter."

Aldwin did not argue, although his eyebrow rose slightly. Without a word he seated himself beside Megan and Jacob left the room. He strode down the corridor towards the rings, a thousand things running through his head, the main one being the hope that Janet could bring Sam back. He stepped into them and pressed the button on the wrist device.

The rings whooshed up around him and in a flash of light he was on the planet surface. It was just before dawn on the planet, pale light coming from the horizon although the hot sun was yet to rise on the desert world.

The Gate was still illuminated; closing off the second he stepped towards Teal'c and Janet. Janet's son, Jonathon, was sat on the Jaffa's shoulders, the tall man seeming rather amused by the small child. Cassie was with them, holding Ryan's hand, the boy looking scared and unsure before he saw his grandfather. The eight-year-old ran and hugged him as Janet spoke anxiously, "How are they?"

"They're fine. Megan's been awake more than once, but Sam's still in the same condition. I sent Daniel off to get some sleep an hour or two ago, so I wouldn't disturb him for the moment."

"And what of O'Neill?" Teal'c gently lowered himself so the small doctor could retrieve her son from his shoulders.

Jacob sighed, "Well, I finally managed to convince him to check on Sam. Anise was in there..."

Janet looked at him shocked, "Oh no. What happened?"

They began to walk towards the ring platform, hidden beneath the sand, Teal'c now carrying Janet's medical equipment. Jacob continued with a confused shrug, "Apparently nothing."

"But Jack hates her… doesn't he?" Cassie said quietly to her mother who was just as confused as she was.

The rings surrounded them, Ryan gasping in horror as Jonathon just giggled slightly. They appeared in the Tok'ra tunnels as Janet spoke to Cassie, "Cassie, take Jonathon and Ryan to whatever room Jacob finds you and try and get them to get some sleep…"

"I want to see Megs."

Jacob turned to his grandson, "Alright, but just for a little while."

Ryan nodded earnestly before he opened his mouth to speak again. He closed it and then licked his lips before he whispered, "And Mom? Can I see her too?"

Jacob glanced at Janet and sighed softly, "Maybe tomorrow."

Ryan nodded showing he understood as Teal'c placed a hand on the boy's shoulder comfortingly, leading him and the doctor towards the rooms where Megan and Sam were staying.

Jacob sighed again and then turned to Cassie and smiled at the woman, her little brother in her arms. He motioned for them to move down a different corridor as Cassie murmured, "You think she'll make it?"

Jacob didn't look at her for a few seconds before he replied softly, "I have no idea. We adapted technology so it may work for her, but we have no idea if it was effective. All we know is that it successfully removed Sam from Megan's mind and that Megan's consciousness is still intact…"

"But you don't know if Sam's back in her body," Cassie finished off his statement sadly.

Jacob put a hand between her shoulder blades propelling her into the Guest quarters. He had tried to make this room more similar to the ones on Earth, knowing that the Tau'ri would find it difficult to sleep in there, especially the children.

"JACOB! JACOB! SHE'S WAKING UP! JACOB!"

Janet came skidding down the corridor, the small woman moving with surprising speed as she began to gabble, "I can't believe it, but her pulse is quickening slightly and… She's waking up!"

Jacob almost immediately left Cassie and her small brother in the corridor as he followed the doctor, the two of them almost sprinting down the corridors to Sam's room.

The first person Jacob noticed was Jack O'Neill knelt beside her bed staring at her face, whispering under his breath. Anise stood slightly away from the bed watching the scene almost sadly. As they entered both of them glanced up at them.

"Jake, she's waking up. I know she is."

Jacob nodded and stepped towards his son in law, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jack was shivering slightly, Jacob noticed pitifully. He knew exactly what it felt like to lose a wife so young, but he couldn't begin to understand how it would feel to see her come to life again before his eyes.

They stayed in the same position for nearly an hour, Sam's vital signs becoming stronger and stronger and Jack's shivering becoming more and more noticeable.

Her eyelids were flickering as if she were in an R.E.M. sleep. Slowly, flashes of blue were visible in between the miniscule gap provided by her eyelashes as her eyelids opened slightly. Jack was now shaking quite violently and Jacob felt his knees trembling, his legs feeling as though they would give way beneath him.

Everyone was transfixed by Sam as her eyes opened sluggishly. She stared up blinking a few times, a small frown on her forehead as she tried to focus her eyes. Her eyes fell on Jack's face as he watched her, thrilled yet terrified.

After a second, he whispered, "Sam?"

She opened her mouth and a raspy sighing noise came as she tried to speak, "Yeah..." She coughed slightly as her vocal chords began to get used to working again. After a second or two she spoke, her voice still hoarse from where the Tok'ra had removed the Goa'uld, "Did it work?"

Jack was smiling with unbelievable happiness, his eyes glistening as he said, "Yeah. It worked."

"And Megan?"

Jack took her hand in his, smoothing his fingertips over her wrist and fingertips as he nodded with a small choked laugh of relief, "She's fine. Well on the way to recovery."

Sam smiled weakly before she whispered, "I can't wait to meet my daughter."

Janet spoke up, "You will, but she's still not well enough to visit you and you are nowhere near. Give it a day maybe two."

Sam nodded and then croaked, "Thank you…"

Jack spoke, "No offence to the Doc, but Anise is the one you should be thanking."

Janet smiled at her Tok'ra counterpart, "Yes, it was Anise that's been here with you constantly."

Sam moved her head ever-so-slightly so she looked at Anise. The Tok'ra woman was stood there watching her with a meek smile, so un-Anise-like it surprised Sam.

She cleared her throat then breathed, "Thanks…"

"You're Welcome."

Janet spoke gently after a second, signalling for Jacob and Anise to leave with her, "We'll leave you two alone. Get some sleep, Sam. We'll come see you in the morning."

"Night Guys," Jack said gratefully as he watched them all retreat out into the passage.

He turned back to Sam, looking at her small smile and breathtaking eyes. She looked tired and pale, but there was now a strange sense of life about her again and Jack felt himself falling in love again almost immediately.

He cleared his throat after a second, "I…" He began to delve into to his jacket pocket and after a second pulled out his hand his fist clenched. Sam watched his hand in fascination as after a second his fingers uncurled and displayed two rings that Sam recognised so well.

"I… I…" Jack's voice was shaking slightly and Sam felt pity for him. The thought of living 6 years of her life thinking he was dead and raising their children alone was enough to make her want to cry. He cleared his throat again, obviously finding hard to say the right thing.

He didn't need to.

Sam squeezed his hand slightly and his dark eyes rose to her face. She tried to show him her answer in her expression, her voice painful too use. She wished that she wasn't so weak, just so she could grin or hold him or kiss him. She was reminded so vividly of when she'd been so weakened by the Fountain of Youth fiasco. She remembered feeling she was so useless that Jack would never love her… And then they'd got married and had kids. They'd been through so much and she loved him more than she could ever express. She just hoped her feeble smile was enough for now.

A grin lit up Jack's face and as if answering her hope he slipped the two rings onto her finger with so much care that Sam knew he was terrified of hurting her.

This moment reminded her so much of when she and Jack had first gotten together, after the Fountain of Youth incident. Jack had been so scared of damaging her further, already blaming her injury on himself. It had only been when Sam had yelled at him telling him to 'Just snog me already!' that how silly he was being.

Jack smiled and stood up slightly; kissing her gently on the cheek as he whispered into her ear, "Get some sleep. I'm right here."

She nodded, realising for the first time how heavy her eyelids had become, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep in a matter of seconds.

Jack sat by her bedside all night, watching her sleep. He sighed softly as he watched her. It had been so long since they'd first met and so much had happened to the both of them. Who would've thought they'd get here with so much stood in their way, so many obstacles? And yet…

Jack smiled as he murmured to the silent room, "And yet here we are…"

Å

Sam lay in the azure calm of her room, thinking about everything. Her hand moved to her stomach, her palm lying against her abdomen where her child would be growing. The thought was strange. She could not remember anything that had happened to her in Apophis's palace, except for residual flashes of memory in her head. The clearest, and only one Sam could really decipher, was the image of Jack stood before her in her room as suddenly she remembered him.

It had been a few days since she'd woken up in the correct body and been informed of her pregnancy and the fact she'd be here with the Tok'ra for quite a while. Janet was not going to let her back to Earth until she was satisfied Sam was well enough to go through and knowing Sam's past medical history, the worst of which spanning over the past decade or so, Sam knew Janet would not be letting her go home for at least 2 months. Janet was scared of her dying suddenly again, just like everyone else.

She sighed softly and looked up with surprise at the woman who'd just entered.

"Sorry if I startled you."

Sam smiled slightly at the Tok'ra who'd cared for her so well since she'd woken, "Oh no. I'm fine, Anise." She chuckled slightly, "I finally managed to get everyone to give me some peace and quiet."

Anise nodded slightly, moving over to the gadgets and taking reading like she did everyday. After a while, she murmured in her human voice, "You are a very lucky woman, Samantha."

Her eyes rose to Freya, catching a glimpse of a tear fall from the Tok'ra's eyes before Anise took control of the body, hiding all signs of unhappiness. Sam had noticed the change in Anise, as had everyone. She was so completely different to when they'd first met.

Sam spoke quietly, "I know I'm lucky. Luck is the only explanation for some of the things that have happened in my life."

Anise nodded, Freya coming back to the surface. She began to leave before she turned to face Sam again. Her voice was soft and painful, "He loves you, you know. He loves you a lot."

Something finally clicked into place in Sam's head as she stared at the Tok'ra woman. Jack had told her about Freya during the Zaytarc incident, but she'd never realised...

Freya continued, her eyes staring off into space, "I knew from the moment he said 'no' to me that he was in love with you..." She sighed gently, "I was not surprised when you got married. Jacob was always so happy leading up to your wedding, telling us how you were pregnant with his grandchild..."

Sam spoke, feeling sympathy for the Tok'ra woman, "You love him, don't you?"

Freya looked up in shock before she nodded slightly and then continued, "Out of every man I could have fallen for, I fell for him..."

"How could you have looked after me and Megan?" Sam said shocked at the woman's bravery, "How could you have cared for us...? It must have been killing you..."

Freya shook her head, a small smile curving her lips, "He needs you, Samantha. If he'd lost you and your daughter, I would've never forgiven myself..." She stared at her for a second, "I will not say I am not jealous of you because I am, but he loves you and he loves your children. I know he will never love me, but I have finally accepted it. It took me all these years since I heard you were to be married, but I will finally..." She stopped mid-sentence and smiled slightly, "I do not really know what I will do. I like how I have become. The only part I miss is I used to smile and laugh more, but I will fix that."

Sam felt a strange urge to cry at the woman's loneliness, but instead she smiled tiredly, "You deserve to be happy and who knows... there are still many fish in the sea..."

Freya frowned, "I do not understand..."

Sam chuckled, "It means there are a lot more guys out there who will love you and you will love in return," Sam grinned, "You never know. That guy might be just round that next corner or the next or the next."

Freya nodded and smiled brightly, "I am sure he is! Goodnight Samantha and get some rest."

Freya stepped out into the corridor walking straight into Sgt. Davis. The technician's glasses fell to the floor as Freya apologised, "Forgive me. I was not looking where I was going..."

"Oh no, Ma'am," Walter replied, "I was on my way to visit Major Cart... Mrs. O'Neill and I wasn't taking enough care." He found his glasses and put them on staring at Freya in surprise, "Freya and Anise, right?"

Freya smiled, "Yes. And you are one of the Gate technicians?"

He held out his hand obviously in awe of her, "Yes." She took his hand still smiling beautifully, "My name's Walter Davis... Sgt. Walter Davis."

Freya released his hand, "It was a pleasure meeting you, Walter."

They continued to stare at each other before Freya blushed and gently murmured, "Excuse me," pushing past the man and walking down the corridor, the Sergeant's eyes following her, causing Sam to burst into laughter.

Walter stepped into the room grinning at her, "Sam! It's been so long…" He looked at the woman laughing happily to herself, "Sam? What… What's funny?"

Sam just smiled at her dear friend as he stepped closer to her, "Oh no reason. I just think that Anise has caught herself a fish!"

Walter frowned confused as Sam began chuckling again, the Tok'ra halls filling with the beautiful sound of laughter. The sound travelled down the corridors to where Jack sat with his daughter sleeping, snoring softly.

Jack recognised the joyful echo immediately and felt a warm feeling touch his heart. How he'd missed her laughter. He leant back in his chair as a small smile came to his face and closed his eyes, the sound of Sam's delight sending a shiver through him.

Jack sighed gently as he whispered, "I missed you, Baby. I missed you a lot…"

Å

2 Months Later…

As they stepped out of the car Sam stared up at her home nervously. The car journey had been strangely silent. Her children were still slightly unused to the idea of having a mom and though it seemed strange to her, they almost couldn't quite get their heads around the fact.

She sighed slightly. Jack had been quiet too. In fact, he'd seemed rather distant. Sam guessed he was just as uncomfortable and unsure as the children and Sam felt upset that she hadn't been welcomed back with open arms. But what had she really expected? 6 years is a very long time from all their perspectives…

"Come on. You must be tired," Jack said, giving her a tiny smile. She nodded and wandered up to the front door as Jack got Megan out of the car. She was fast asleep. Although completely healthy, Megan would get fatigued much easier these days, Janet said. The sleepiness would just be temporary, but until it wore off letting the 5 year old get as much sleep as possible would be for the best.

Ryan walked behind his father up to the doorstep, keeping his distance from her and that alone broke Sam's heart. Her son didn't know her and from what Jack had told her, only vaguely remembered her. Sam, however, could remember watching Ryan, as if it were yesterday, playing with a ball in the garden, getting filthy and giggling in the way that only 3-year-olds can when they are getting ridiculously grubby.

They stepped inside and Sam yawned. She, like her daughter, was exhausted; having been through the gate for the first time in what felt like forever and coming home with her family had made this day very emotionally draining.

Jack spoke to Ryan softly, "I'm putting Megan to bed. Don't watch TV too loudly, OK?"

Ryan spoke as he walked into the living room, "Ya sure you betcha, Dad."

Sam chuckled softly as she said, "He's so much like you, you know."

"I've noticed," he replied as they climbed the flight of stairs. Sam stood on the landing as Jack put Megan to bed, slightly unsure what to do with herself.

After a few minutes he came back out, gently closing the kids' bedroom door slightly. He stepped closer to her, rubbing the back of his neck as he did when he felt slightly awkward, "You'll… uh… You'll have to stay in the spare room for the moment…" Jack stared at his feet and then up at her as he mumbled, "I got rid of the double bed when you…"

His voice trailed away and Sam took her queue to save him from anymore awkwardness, "That's OK. It would be… weird anyway."

"Yeah," he said quickly before looking up at her. He gave her a small smile and then tentatively he stepped forward and kissed her gently. Sam's hand moved to hold the back of his neck as they kissed softly.

Jack pulled away and cleared his throat before giving her a small smile. He moved past her towards the spare room and opened the door, flicking on the light.

Sam followed him inside and after a few seconds of silence Jack muttered, "Get some sleep."

She nodded and he went to leave. She spoke up hurriedly, "Jack?"

He turned, "Yeah?"

Sam stared at him and suddenly felt like crying. After a pause she murmured, "Nothing. Night."

He looked her up and down for a second before he whispered, "They'll get used to it soon. They're just not used to… used to you."

She nodded as he left closing the door behind him. Sam closed her eyes and let out a small sigh. Her hand moved to her bump as she dropped on the single bed. After she murmured to the empty room, "I hope it's not only them who'll get used to me…" She felt a tear roll down her cheek as she whispered shakily toward her unborn child, "Otherwise, me and you are on our own, Kiddo." She sighed and wiped her fingers over her teary eyes, hugging her pillow close to her and burying her face in it as she cried softly before weariness overcoming her and she fell into a cheerless sleep.

Å

Jack had thought he'd get a proper night's sleep for once, now Sam was alive, healthy and home again, but he'd still awoken at some ungodly hour of the morning. He'd climbed from his single bed, pulled on a pair of old sweats and wandered onto the landing. He'd stared at the door to the spare bedroom which was open ajar and with much debate had finally decided not to check on his wife.

To keep himself busy, he'd silently got Sam's clothes down from the attic. Every box was full of clothes, many of which people would not be caught dead in 6 years after Sam had last worn them, but until he could take her shopping and buy her some other things they'd do.

He'd spent the rest of the morning, ironing some of her clothes and washing any items which were dirty. When he'd finished this task, he'd set about trying to make the place as akin as he could to how it had last been for her, although he had no idea why.

Now he was in the kitchen, leaning against the worktop and thinking about how his life would become topsy-turvy yet again. He almost jumped when he heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs and stared at the doorway leading to the hallway.

When the woman stepped into the kitchen, Jack felt like rubbing his eyes or pinching himself. Samantha O'Neill stood before him, no longer a ghost in a dream, no longer his terminally ill wife and no longer his unattainable 2IC.

She was dressed in the pyjamas Janet had lent her. Her hair was longer than he remembered and was ruffled from restless sleep. Her eyes were a soulful azure, tears blurring her vision also. One rolled down her pale cheek, a droplet of self-hatred, misery and pain.

His eyes fell on her stomach, a bump already beginning to form causing her plain white t-shirt to stretch ever-so-slightly, revealing barely a centimetre of her skin between the hem of the shirt and the waist band of her pants.

She spoke quietly, "I went to check on the kids. I hope you don't mind?" The slight uncertainty in her voice was emphasised as the sound of his wife's soft voice reverberated off his eardrum, it was harsh and cold. She actually thought she had to ask if it was ok to see her children and the thought made Jack hate himself for treating her as he had.

When she got no immediate reply, she pushed past him, causing him to shiver imperceptibly. She moved around the kitchen automatically, as if she'd never been dead… _gone_ for 6 years. He found his voice and managed to murmur, "No. Of course not."

She glanced at him for a split second before turning away again. She spoke, trying to sound annoyed, but the soft sound of her suppressing tears was enough to convince him it was just a façade, "There are no pictures… There is nothing to suggest I was your wife, let alone a living, breathing woman! How long did it take you to forget me? A year, a month, a week?"

It was Jack's turn to hide behind a mask of anger, "I NEVER forgot you! I could never forget you! I spent every fucking second of every day for the past 6 years thinking about you! I've not stopped since our first day at the SGC! I don't think I could ever stop thinking about you because I can never stop loving you! I can NEVER stop loving you! I've had to raise two children alone in a world where they spend every day in hiding under aliases so the media can't get to them and ruin their lives like they ruined mine! Like they ruined your memory with cheesy monuments and stuff all over the shot! All the time it drove a stake in my heart because you were dead and I couldn't even live without you!"

She flinched with everything he said, but he had to let it out. All the pent up emotions that had been draining his life for so long, "Christ Sam, what the hell do you think I've done for the past 6 years? Just slept with every whore I could find? Cashing in on your death by sanctioning action figures and movies and TV series? I've been fighting this all along! The day before you showed up in Megan's body, I was in court with Janet, fighting against some movie they were going to make about me and you!"

He deflated slightly, his voice becoming a broken whisper, "How could I forget you when I'd see you in my head, a teenage girl, with a purpling bruise across the side of your face as you lie in a coma covered in wires and tubes? Every time I fell asleep I'd see you walking down the aisle towards me, your legs in braces beneath your dress, but the beautiful smile on your face telling me you loved me! Every minute of my life for the past 6 years I've remembered the day you first walked again, without crutches, without leg braces, holding Ryan in your arms as you came to greet me! Every second of every day, I relived the moments when I woke to find you were dead, our son in your arms...!"

It was at that point she turned back to the kitchen surface. Her hands were trembling as she set about making herself a piece of toast. He noticed her skin was covered in small Goosebumps and felt himself hating himself yet again. Jack stood in the same position, frozen, just watching her. God, he loved her so much it hurt!

It was only once she dropped the knife 3 times on the surface with a dull, metallic clang that she let out a soft gasp, which led to another and another, until her body was shaking with gasped sobs. Her hands gripped the edge of the kitchen surface as he saw a tear fall to the surface, a bead of water shattering into tiny glittering pieces.

He took a hesitant step towards her, wondering what to do. He didn't know if he should hold her or leave her alone or ask her permission to hug her. He had no idea anymore and it scared him. So he did what he thought was right.

He touched her lightly on the shoulder and murmured, "Sam?"

She turned to face him and he saw the strange confusion and pain in her eyes. He couldn't even begin to realize what this must be like for her. He'd been so caught up in his own pain, his own sense of being lost, that he'd never stopped to realise just how hard this must be on her. Her breathtaking eyes looked away from him, almost as if she couldn't bear to look at him.

That one action made Jack's heart yearn for her even more. He lifted a hand and delicately swiped the tears from her face as she stared at him in shock, more tears falling all the time. Her eyes slid shut in anguish and she turned away from him whispering brokenly, "Please don't."

Jack was stood, his hand not having moved from where her cheek had been. His fingers, still moistened from her tears brushed some of her golden hair. The action caused her to tremble harder and she gasped preventing a sob from escaping her lips.

Jack couldn't bear this anymore. His wife was upset, more than upset, and he was the cause. He sighed angry with himself and took a step closer to her. His arms slid around her stomach and he squeezed slightly pressing his chest up to her back as he whispered, "God I'm so sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have let all my anger out on you. None of this is your fault."

She was still shivering, her arms moving around his own and clasping his wrists from where they were wrapped around her. She leant back slightly in his arms and continued to cry silently as she stared out of the window above the sink.

Slowly, he swivelled her around and stared into her eyes for a second. He gave her a small smile, feeling tears of his own blurring his vision slightly. He sniffed, "You've always been so strong. I've never really told you how proud I've always been of you. I was proud of Samantha Carter for being intelligent, strong and brave amongst many things. I am proud of Samantha O'Neill for her strength and determination. You spent so long fighting against the damage to your nervous system after what happened with Apophis and... I was so proud of you, Baby. Don't give up on us now. Everything is going to be OK, I promise you. Please don't give up on us."

She stared back in his eyes and he knew she didn't think so. She buried her head in his shoulder, her hands moving up his back as she began to sob heartbrokenly. He kissed her hair, holding her, the feeling of her in his arms long missed. He kissed her ear softly as he breathed, "I promise you. We always fight our way through, Sam. Remember..." He pulled back and said seriously, "O'Neills are stubborn son-of-a-bitches!"

She laughed slightly and he saw her smile. The relief her smile gave him was indescribable. He grinned and she laughed again as she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. After a few seconds, he said lovingly, "And you are an O'Neill. We are all O'Neills."

She pulled back again, wiping away her tears and sniffling slightly before taking his hand and placing it on her stomach as she whispered with a beautiful smile, "All five of us."

Å

**Epilogue**

_**1 year later**_

"Jack, will you hurry up? We're going to be late!"

Jack passed the stairs and called down, "Ryan can't find his jacket! Where's Jamie's bag?"

"I already put it in the car!" Sam called back to her husband as she glanced at her six year old daughter, looking rather cute as she smiled a slightly gappy smile and then tutted at her father and brother. Sam grinned and muttered to the small girl, "Two seconds, Sweetie."

Sam ran up the stairs, smoothing a crease in her summer dress. She moved into the kid's bedroom, Ryan was searching through his wardrobe hurriedly, "Mom, I can't find it!"

Her eyes rose to the heavens, "That's because it's downstairs on the hanger where I told you it was yesterday."

Ryan turned around his brown eyes scowling at her, "I knew that!"

She laughed brightly and knelt down in amongst the mess on the floor, "Come here."

With a comment of annoyance from her son, she began to adjust his shirt and jeans and when he went to move away she grabbed his shoulders, "Stand still for a second!"

"Aww Mom!"

Sam fought the urge to snigger as she muttered, "Look at your hair! It's as unruly as your father's!"

She grabbed a comb from the side and tried to make the mop of fair hair look neater, although it worked very slightly and refused to be combed into an acceptable position.

She gave up as Ryan muttered, "Finally!" He sped out of the room and downstairs as Sam shook her head and began to pick up toys strewn across the room, throwing them into the box. She felt a hand on her back and stood up straight. She turned to face Jack with a smile, his arms held around her as he smiled back.

He nodded his head to the door that their son had just stormed out of and said with a slightly raised eyebrow, "Have you noticed how Ryan's getting rather..."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah. He must get it from you!"

He kissed her tenderly and whispered in a sarcastic tone, "Of course, Dear."

She laughed as their baby son began to wail in protest at being left in his cot. She spoke as she walked to their room, "Have you got the wedding present?"

"Yeah," he said lifting it off the dresser as Sam moved to the baby's crib.

She looked down at her small son, his face pink and scrunched up where he was crying, "Aww Mommy's little man feeling left out?" She lifted him up gently, holding him to her as she jiggled him in her arms ever so slightly, "Shh shh shh. It's OK, Sweetie. We're going now."

She kissed his head, covered in soft dark hair as she glanced at Jack. He was leant against the door frame, a strange smile on his face, watching her and his baby son lovingly. She grinned and he smiled back, "I'll go put the other two in the car."

She nodded as he left and she looked around the room for something she might have forgotten as her son's cries turned to hiccoughs. She patted his back gently until he let out a tiny burp. She grabbed a hankie and placed it over her shoulder, prepared for the drooling Jamie.

She slowly left the room and moved downstairs, giving the house a once over for anything she may have forgotten. She noticed that for once Jack had done the washing up without her asking him to. She smiled to herself as she moved to the front door where Jack was stood, two denim jackets folded over his arm, his own shades propped on his head and another pair in his hand. She smiled as she put her shades on and Jack grabbed Jamie's cap from the coat rack, shading the baby's face from the sun.

"Sun block?"

"I've already done Megs and Ryan and put it in Jamie's bag," Jack said, "Have you done Jay?"

She nodded and sighed, "You ready?"

He grinned, "As ready as I'll ever be!"

Sam shook her head with a small laugh as they both left the house closing the door behind them.

Å

Jack watched his beautiful wife, stood in the shade of the tree that grew at the end of the Jackson's backyard. The beautiful summer's day would end in an hour or so, but it was still as warm as it had been at midday, Sam having taken their baby son into the refuge from the blazing sun.

Megan and Jonathon were playing a game of tag with a little Jaffa child, Isa'c, the son of Rya'c's best man, Jar'ec. The wedding had been beautiful, Chulak was beautiful in its autumn months and now Rya'c and Cassie had returned from their honeymoon, the proud parents were holding a barbeque here on Earth. Jack had never seen Teal'c smile so much and Janet and Daniel were just the same. Jack would miss them all when Daniel and Janet moved to Chulak as well.

Sam was talking with Bray'tac, both of them laughing. Jamie was fast asleep, his chubby cheek pressed on the handkerchief strategically placed on Sam's shoulder as the baby dribbled. General Hammond was talking with Cassie and Rya'c, the couple hugging each other. Various members of the SGC were talking with various members of the Jaffa resistance. The weather was gorgeous and everything seemed perfect in Jack's world.

Jack began to think about his own children getting married. He'd be ancient by that time! He snorted slightly to himself, thinking about his two sons and his daughter.

He wandered over towards Bray'tac and Sam...

"... I am very happy for you."

Sam glanced at the baby, his podgy fingers gripping loosely to part of the handkerchief, "We're very happy too."

"You deserve it, Samantha. You have been through so much."

She turned to him, smiling her irresistibly beautiful smile, "Thank you, Bray'tac. For everything you did for us."

Bray'tac glanced at Jack as he finally reached them. He smiled and bowed his head to both of them, "It was an honour. Now I must speak to Hammond of Texas. It has been a long time."

Jack winked at Bray'tac as Sam turned. She gave a small jump, "Jack!"

"Still got skills with stealth then!"

She glared, "If I wasn't holding your son, I would hit you!"

Jack and Bray'tac chuckled, the old Jaffa master speaking, "You are feisty like many Jaffa women. O'Neill does not realise what he has let himself in for."

Jack smiled, "Oh I know exactly what I've let myself in for." He pulled a hand around Sam's shoulder as he said to Bray'tac, "Thanks again, Bray'tac."

He just inclined his head and strode away towards the Texan General.

Sam sighed softly turning to him. Jack smiled, closing the space between them, his arms wrapping around her lower back as they both stared at the baby sleeping in Sam's arms.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Sam whispered in a voice of absolute adoration.

Jack hummed, "Uh huh." He sighed himself, content before he let out a quiet chuckle, "He's going to be such a heartbreaker when he grows up!"

Sam let out a laugh of her own, looking up at her husband. She stared into his face, her soft smile and beautiful eyes telling him all he needed to know. After a second, she murmured, "I'm so glad I'm alive," she glanced back down at the baby and then at the children playing on the lawn, "I can't believe that I might have missed this."

Jack nodded, "Me neither."

She smiled again and placed a kiss on his lips softly. She pulled back and took his hand in hers as she moved to the rug in the dappled shade. Jack helped her to lower herself to sit on the picnic mat as he joined her; the both of them watching their children, fingers entwined as the summer's day slowly came to an end.

FINIS

Yet more Author's notes: It's FINISHED! YAY! I know it's been ages and ages since I last posted something, but I'm having trouble at the moment due to school, getting a lead role in my drama group pantomime, my mum just returning from hospital etc etc. Please send me some feedback. Vulnerability and Finding Strength are two of my favourite stories and I'd like to hear what you guys thought of them. Thanks again everyone and I PROMISE I will finish SOMETHING soon!

Sam x

Copyright © Sam I Am 2005


End file.
